The Worst Person You Know Just Reminded You They’re NOT Going To Nashville For Fall Break
Dorm StuffDrinkingHolidaysStudent Life October 10, 2025
“To be honest, when my friends told me they were going to Nashville, I was pretty disappointed in them,” said Lou Zerr (MCAS ‘26). “As a free thinker, there’s just something that a weekend drinking in Nashville couldn’t give me. I think I need something a little more enriching.”
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Following Federal Government Shutdown, UGBC Vows To Continue Doing Absolutely Nothing
Big IssuesCampus Culture October 10, 2025
“Following the suit of our effective federal government,” said Munnyin Pockets (CSOM ‘28), “…We want to reassure the student body that our unique ability to accomplish absolutely nothing of substance will continue as usual.”
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I lifted my head to the ceiling, praying to whoever was listening to bring my baby back to me. And then, as if God himself heard my plea, I saw him floating across the student section.
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Freshman Boy Disappointed By Lack Of Shaw-ties In The Shaw House
Dorm StuffFreshmenSex October 3, 2025
Eagle Escort Now Offering Complimentary Catcalling Services
Campus CultureSchoolStudent LifeWTF October 2, 2025
Previously only used as a transportation service for injured or otherwise disabled students on campus, Eagle Escort will now be offering what BCPD is calling “mobile mood boosters.”
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With our Eagles shitting the bed every week, all anyone wants is some hot bunny action.
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Inspired By Hegseth, Leahy Brings Together All Fathers To Discuss The Jesuits Plan
Big IssuesJesuitsLeahy October 1, 2025
Inspired by Secretary of War Pete Hegseth’s recent general-summoning jamboree, University President Fr. William P. Leahy, S.J., has reportedly called together every Father, Monsignor, Deacon, and vaguely-clerical-looking guy on campus for what insiders are describing as “a dry run for the Jesuits’ plan for religious world domination.”
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Oh No! Dad Plans To Paint Himself In Maroon And Gold For Parents Weekend Game
BOBCampus CultureWTF September 27, 2025
When questioned by the Classic, Fied said this was not, in fact, a philosophical question. Just this morning, his Dad bought the entire shelf of body paint at their local Home Depot with plans to “strip down (ALL the way), lather up, and show his Boston College spirit.”
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Poppers On The Heights: Dan & Gay Announce LGBTQ+ Resource Center
Big IssuesSex September 26, 2025
This LGBTQ+ resource center is going to sparkle and shimmer! Highlights include a coffee bar operated by non-binary baristas in a polycule, weekly Drag Race watch parties, complimentary poppers, and monthly pronoun parades.
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LTE: Do I Have To Sleep With This Jesuit After Our Third Coffee Date?
Campus CultureJesuitsSex September 24, 2025
I am worried that underneath that tight, all-black outfit is a yearning body expecting to get down and dirty in the confessional after our third cup of joe together.
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