Letter To Thy Editor: Yes I Support Satan, Have You Seen Hell’s Economy?
Big IssuesLTE November 14, 2024
Some support the omniscient and most holy God’s infallible plan for existence. However, they fail to consider the impact on tithes. Why is it that a hard-working king who took the risk to employ hundreds of serfs on his father’s land should be tithed more?
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He is making podcasting too expensive for your broke, bummy boyfriends who haven’t had jobs since they got fired from the dispensary they worked at for two weeks! That should be celebrated as a win for feminism!
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LTE: Dear BC Republicans, We Called You Short, Fat, And Ugly With Grubby Little Rat Hands, Not Racist
Big IssuesLTEOpinion November 12, 2024
However, we, as BC students, will not stand with the lies that you posted in your op-ed. We said you were “short, fat, and ugly with grubby little rat hands.” We never called you racist.
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Heartbreaking: We Had A Whole Slate Of Articles Set For This Week But The Associated Press Had To Go And Fuck All That Up
Big IssuesWTF November 11, 2024
Editors at the Classic watched in horror as several unpublished articles, which we had poured hours of blood, sweat, and tears into, became old, shriveled, and no longer funny right before our very eyes.
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“Zere are so many things zat I vould like to ask about zis unusual celebration of ze penises, starting vith all of zis talk of dressing up for ze occasion”
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“Kenny had an interesting approach, for sure,” said Johnny Damon (MCAS ’28), also in Coogur’s orientation group. “In the icebreaker, Katie revealed that her favorite pizza topping is anchovies, and Kenny immediately responded by saying his favorite BC fun fact is that 69% of Eagles marry each other.”
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Liz Cheney Found Searching Through Upper Dorms, Claims To Find Weapons of Mass Destruction
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF October 28, 2024
Spooky! You Had Your Volume On High When You Solved The Mini Crossword In Your 200-person Lecture!
SpookyStudent Life October 24, 2024
He solved the New York Times Mini Crossword in one minute and 29 seconds, letting the sweet jingle of victory ring out in his 200-person African Diaspora and the World lecture.
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Yikes! My Priest Is Texting On The Other Side Of The Confessional
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life October 23, 2024
“While most priests hold this as one of their highest duties to God, some priests like to get a little wacky after a few too many sips of Christ blood.”
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Despite him initiating all forms of intimacy, admitting he has feelings first, and also introducing his parents and peepaw to her at parents’ weekend, Manny Pulator, (CSOM ’26) decided to call things off as he was mid-thrust.
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