The New England Classic
Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th
CHESTNUT HILL ​​— Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more
Hafley Personally Nurses Players Back To Health

Adorned in maroon scrubs, Hafley addressed the Boston College community via Instagram Live late last night and committed himself to assuming personal responsibility for Jurkovec’s recovery. Hafley gently stirred chicken noodle soup as he declared the steps he would be taking to heal Jurkovec’s hand to thousands of viewers.

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MUN Roommate Needs You To Be Quiet So That They Can Launch A Missile

“I was the one who got to announce that the projectiles had entered foreign airspace, so I really just needed the dorm quiet for a hot minute.”

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LTE: The Rat Can Still Be A Bar If You Day Drink There
I’ve heard about the glory days of 1978, when The Rat was the most bodacious, tubular joint in town to shake your thing and meet some bitchin’ lads and ladies. Legend says the drinking age was 18, that light beer flowed as though a gift from the gods, and... Read more
Honey, I Shrunk Spring Break!
THE BONN STUDIO THEATRE — Every aspiring artist struggles with the elusive beast that is creativity. Where do great ideas come from? How do we wield them and shape them into fully formed movies, paintings, novels? These were exactly the questions going through Seymour Bush’s (MCAS ’21) mind as... Read more
OPINION: Dear White Buddhists

It’s one thing to be a garden-variety, store-brand Asian fetishist, but to make the massive shift from big-tiddy-anime-girls to big belly Buddha is deeply unsettling.

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OP-ED: A Perfectly Normal Tuesday
Well, I can’t seem to explain it really — compared to the commotion of most others days so far, today’s shaping up to be about as perfectly ordinary as it gets. Perhaps I should elaborate. My alarm went off at seven, as it usually does. I snoozed it just... Read more
The New England Classic’s Summer Vacation Travel Guide: Chicago
Chicago. The Twindy Cities. From the Sioux for “Italians need not apply,” Chi-na-town is the perfect spot for a surprise summer getaway. With at least four and a half restaurants and a record-108 years without a single Italian in public office, planning a trip to the city can seem... Read more
“Achoo!” Reports Entire Student Body
CHESTNUT HILL — The first fall of crumpled tissues blankets the campus. Droplets of influenza and ragweed are a-floatin’ through the crisp winter air. It’s sneezy season here on the Heights and the noses be drippin’! “Sorry, I’ve had, like, a really bad cough lately,” your red-eyed, inexplicably leaking roommate... Read more
OPINION: There Will Be No Technology Allowed In My Classroom, Except For These Bop-Its
Hello, class. Welcome to your first day of Postcolonial Gender Dynamics In Western Society! As all of you are upperclassmen, I won’t waste time by going over every last sentence on the syllabus—I expect you to have done that on your own time. However, there are a couple of... Read more