The New England Classic
BC Football Gets Sent To Glee Club

At press time, the team was seen rehearsing a rendition of the cupid shuffle and getting slushies thrown in their face by the McKinley High football team.

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Game Of Thrones Spin-Off “House Of Roncastle” Coming To HBO In Spring 2023

House of Roncastle is to be a 10-episode-long tale of the illustrious Roncalli Hall, a safe haven for neglected and worthless sophomores of Boston College.

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Athletes Exchange Scooters For Motorized Barbie Jeeps

“This bad boy also has a sick audio system that can play 6 songs, a trunk to hold my empty backpack, and does NOT have seatbelts, so my adrenaline junkie self is really enjoying the rush it gives.”

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Local Student Under International Investigation Following Incriminating “Slay Queen” Remarks

Chaos has erupted around the globe since the incredibly recent death of Queen Elizabeth as authorities everywhere scramble to rule out foul play. Although autopsies point to natural causes, one student is struggling to clear her name.

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“Crappy Asstivities Bored” And 13 Other Alternate Acronyms For CAB
Feel free to use any of these with your friends! Car Acquisition Board Cock and Balls Chowder and Biscuits Clowns and Bozo Crabs and Bivalves Cash and Bitches Crappy Asstivities Bored Clemson Always Bus Crimes Against Baldwin Cruisin’ Around Boston Christopher Andrew Bernard Club Au Baking Checks And Balances... Read more
Mac Remodel Unveiled, Mike@Mac Now Master Chief
McELROY COMMONS—With a much-needed face-lift to Carney Dining Room complete, students of the Upper Campus and CoRo communities have been abuzz about the changes to what has come to be called “New Mac.” Sleeker signage and brighter lighting have given the space a fresher look, while many have remarked... Read more
Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th
CHESTNUT HILL ​​— Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more
Hafley Personally Nurses Players Back To Health

Adorned in maroon scrubs, Hafley addressed the Boston College community via Instagram Live late last night and committed himself to assuming personal responsibility for Jurkovec’s recovery. Hafley gently stirred chicken noodle soup as he declared the steps he would be taking to heal Jurkovec’s hand to thousands of viewers.

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MUN Roommate Needs You To Be Quiet So That They Can Launch A Missile

“I was the one who got to announce that the projectiles had entered foreign airspace, so I really just needed the dorm quiet for a hot minute.”

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LTE: The Rat Can Still Be A Bar If You Day Drink There
I’ve heard about the glory days of 1978, when The Rat was the most bodacious, tubular joint in town to shake your thing and meet some bitchin’ lads and ladies. Legend says the drinking age was 18, that light beer flowed as though a gift from the gods, and... Read more