DEVLIN HALL – What rhymes with azure poop and is always in your way? That’s right! A tour group! As you may have noticed, our gilded walkways have become infested with masses of prospective Boston College Eagles. It’s about time we take back our walkways, the walkways that were... Read more
During spring, you can catch representatives from the Student Admission Program (SAP) in their natural habitat, leading herds of wild visitors through campus. Out of the many opportunities for false promises and misleading exaggerations, here are The New England Classic’s top 10 to tell your tour group.
You got a 34 (35 superscore) and everyone else who got into the same university as you NEEDS to know it. Find a way to drop it into conversation even if it doesn’t relate to the topic at hand!
Before appearing in homecoming court on Friday, be sure to remember these FIVE Constitutionally-protected legal rights. Don’t let your freedom be compromised!
Hey! Are you back living in your childhood bedroom? Are you a broke college student who is hurting from not being included in the COVID relief bill and rationing money to buy weed from that kid who dropped out of your high school? Are you already sick of your... Read more
Class is only fun when movies. Usually teacher will only talk about stuff that is boring and makes me exhausted. Most of the time I am not listening because I am too busy thinking about trucks. But if there is YouTube or movie I will probably pay attention though.... Read more
Chicago. The Twindy Cities. From the Sioux for “Italians need not apply,” Chi-na-town is the perfect spot for a surprise summer getaway. With at least four and a half restaurants and a record-108 years without a single Italian in public office, planning a trip to the city can seem... Read more
Parents’ Weekend is a special time of year. The football game gets everyone’s spirits up, the weather is still nice and temperate, and seeing family is always something special. But let’s not forget what it’s really all about: ass. Hot Dad Ass. Sorry Mom, can’t talk right now, I... Read more
College ranking lists come out every fall, so it’s the perfect time to scroll through your Facebook and think “weird brag, dude” when some guy you went to high school with shares that his school is now “Ranked #35 in small-to-medium-sized sub-Saharan African zoology programs in the lower Midwest!”... Read more
Surprise! You’re a freshman on Newton! While the bus ride may be inconvenient, Newtonites love the freshmen-only dining in Stuart and the sense of community unknown to the bastards on Upper – according to your OL, at least. You’ll definitely appreciate it some day, right!?!? RIGHT!?! In the meantime,... Read more