5 Rights You Need To Know Before Appearing In Homecoming Court
Before appearing in homecoming court on Friday, be sure to remember these FIVE Constitutionally-protected legal rights. Don’t let your freedom be compromised!
- Right to an Attorney
Don’t go to homecoming alone! Bound by the Sixth Amendment, lawyers are legally obligated to join you at the dance. Note: CSOM fellas, you can just call your dad! He’ll probably want to hear from you too!
- Right to Assembly
Homecoming is the perfect venue to host your middle school assembly. You have the RIGHT to book a speaker for homecoming court. Be sure to check out OhNoTheSpeakersHot.com for a list of hot and trendy speakers in your area! My personal favorite is a two-for-one. Nancy Reagan can perform her “Just Say No!” anti-drug campaign at your Homecoming assembly AND appear for a “Just Say Yes Baby!” themed afterparty. Find out why Nancy Reagan was renowned in Hollywood today!
- Right to Form Treaties
Make sure to bring your negotiating face to homecoming court. You may be asked to form a treaty with a country at war. Here’s some tips: Ask for nuclear weapons in a gentle voice. Nuclear weapon controllers are easily startled, and you don’t want those flaming rockets going just anywhere.
- Right to Refuse any Search and Seizure
Boston College is legally prohibited from taking away anything you carry into homecoming court. Zaza, shooters, spare appendixes, they can’t take anything. If BC officials request to search your pockets before homecoming court, you can whip out your pocket Constitution, show them the 4th Amendment, and tell Uncle Sam to shove it!
- The Anti-Quartering Act of 1765
Did you know that militiamen are not allowed to live in your house without your consent? If you see your friend going home with an ROTC kid after homecoming court, you are legally required to intervene! According to the 3rd Amendment, it is illegal for soldiers to have premarital sex.
Now that you know these five rights, you are ready to stand at trial in homecoming court! Good luck to everybody who peaked in high school!