Free The Nipple: Female Students Feel Left Out Of Shirtless Spikeball Fun
Campus CultureStudent Life September 9, 2026 The New England Classic
MALONEY LAWN — A strong indication of springtime on Boston College’s campus is the swarms of male students, clad in shorts and flip flops, gathered around a spikeball net following their afternoon Portico lecture. The Classic hurried to the scene, only to find bare chests and the occasional grunt following a rim hit.
Clearly unimpressed with the skills of their male counterparts, a group of female students dragged their spike ball net over from the Mods. In order to even the playing field, bras were cast aside.
Our reporter noticed a group of boys wander over, their Hardy t-shirts thrown over their shoulder. After a coin toss, the game began.
On her water break, Mya Tatasout (CSON ’26) told the Classic, “I proudly endorse the female free the nipple movement. Why should boys be the only ones to feel the gentle Spring breeze on their areolas?” With breasts and rubber balls bouncing, Tatasout’s team remained undefeated.
The movement…shockingly…won over the boys as well. Seymour Mellins (CSOM ‘29) told our reporter, “Honestly, this movement has truly changed my perspective on life. I think I’m a boob guy now.” Despite his team’s devastating loss, Mellins kept a smile on his face and even asked an opponent for a congratulatory chest-bump.
Since this history-altering afternoon of gender-neutral topless play, spikeball games are reported to have a 47% increase in the student body. New game regulations have been put in place, implementing a strict “No Cleavage Carry” policy and a “Nipple Gaze Foul.”
The Assistant Director of Intramural Programs has not yet confirmed or denied whether or not Topless Spikeball will be an official co-ed intramural sport.
