Articles | The New England Classic

Jeff Hafley Changes BC Football Slogan To “Everyone’s A Winner”

Big Issues Sports Uncategorized November 29, 2021

The players seem to have a positive outlook on next year’s season. According to a survey distributed by The Classic, the team describes the upcoming rebrand as “cool, I guess,” “what does rebrand mean,” and “as long as i get the scooter idc.”

Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th

Featured Holidays School November 24, 2021

CHESTNUT HILL — Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more

“We’re Totally Grabbing Lunch Over Break,” Say High School Friends Who Will Definitely Not Be Grabbing Lunch Over Break

Holidays Student Life November 23, 2021

NEEDHAM, MA — As BC students flock home for Thanksgiving, the impending doom of being forced to reunite with highschool acquaintances has led many to adopt tactics of negotiation and diplomacy. Anita Brake (MCAS ‘25), excitedly posted an obligatory “Goodbye Chestnut Hill, hello Needham” boomerang on her story to commemorate... Read more

Athlete Scoots Home For The Holidays Due To Surge In Flight Prices

Holidays WTF November 22, 2021

However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”

Dennis Grosel’s Dad Complains To Jeff Hafley About Son’s Playing Time

Campus Culture Sports November 19, 2021

When questioned, Dennis Senior was open to speaking on the topic, “Yeah I spoke to the Ol’ Haf. I showed him Lil Denny’s highlight reel from St. Ignatius High School. Since I was already there, I offered up some plays that I used in college when I was a walk-on defensive end in ’87.”

Vending Machine Accepts Another Generous Donation

Campus Culture November 18, 2021

VANDERSLICE HALL — Boston College has long encouraged its students to be “men and women for others.” Whether this be through service-based classes, organizations like ForBoston, or general acts of kindness, many undergraduates have embraced this mission throughout their time at BC. Recent buzz has brought into the spotlight... Read more

Bert and Ernie Down the Hall Look Suspiciously Like Puppets

Dorm Stuff Freshmen Newton November 17, 2021

“Whenever I dap either of them up, they can never really get the hang of it. It’s like someone else is controlling their limbs.” Commented Oscar de Grouch (MCAS ’25) “Their hands are pretty small too, I thought it was just because they’re kinda short kings, but now I think otherwise.”

Pro-Life Club Replaces Table Representatives With Brick Wall

Campus Culture WTF November 15, 2021

The student body seemed to welcome the new addition to campus. One passerby, Secks Halver (MCAS ’24), shared her thoughts. “It’s amazing! It really is just like talking to the club members. I can’t wait to sit down every week and just duke it out with the wall. It’s gonna be cathartic.”

Test Tube Baby? This Guy’s Parents Conceived In Chem Lab

Sex WTF November 11, 2021

“I don’t really think he understands that two people raw-dogging it on a lab bench is not the same as an embryo grown in a lab.”

A Man For Others: This Guy Warms Every Chair Before His Class

Student Life WTF November 11, 2021

“I see that kid in there at 8:00 AM, 7:30 even. Every week. He sits in each chair in that classroom, gets ‘em good and warm. Even talks to them sometimes. Before he moves on to the next one, he gives one tender little kiss.”