The New England Classic
CAUTION: Article Under Construction

Yeah, how about you make something funny then, Jesus. All you ever do is take some idea you heard from someone else and then pass it along down the chain claiming it as your own. 

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Jack Dunn Excitedly Preparing For “Spotlight 2”

In just three minutes, Ruffalo had successfully convinced Dunn to reprise his breakout role, once again portraying a slightly fictionalized version of himself in Spotlight: The Squeakquel.

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New CAB Event: Hunt Your Own Dinner

“I’ve always been, like, super into killing small animals, and it just feels so good to share my passions with the rest of the student body. The BC community is just so supportive, and I am so, so grateful to have this chance to absolutely impale rabbits and other small game with crudely sharpened sticks.”

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LTE: I Love BC But Only Because Of Pink Tree And Tulip

The only thing making me love this school is motherfucking landscape services man. How could you NOT love a school that has pink tree and tulip??????

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Neiiighhh! (Written by a Horse)
The following article was translated with assistance from the Boston College Libraries. Hell yeah, dude. Another day as a horse. I thought today I’d just do my normal routine (wake up, eat hay, clop), but the kind people at The New England Classic reached out and asked if I’d... Read more
Wowza: Roommate Used To Have An Astounding Amount Of Pubic Hair

“I was about to hop in the shower when I saw the abomination,” recalled Gillette. “It looked like someone had shaved a grizzly bear.”  

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University Announces You Can Bring Two Hand Puppets To Graduation

Students whose parents are divorced are still encouraged to bring two puppets, on the grounds that they remain cordial and do not let their puppets engage in any hilarious family disputes, outrageous slapstick violence with oversized blunt objects, or crude puns during the ceremony. 

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Local Dandelion Slut Blows Every Blossom In Town

“We get that it’s Earth Day and all,” said Connie Serned (CSON ’23), “but Jesus Christ, I watched him lick a dandelion slowly from top to bottom yesterday on the grass outside of Lower. That can’t be right.”

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British Royal Navy Invades CAB World Fair

The sailors made the quick stop on their trip to find the Northwest Passage so that they could investigate the cultures of the territories they were about to occupy.

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WTF: BC GET Pizza Boy Won’t Accept Sex As Payment

“I opened the door and expected him to swoon at my advances but instead, he kept insisting that I had already paid for the pizza and that I was being wildly inappropriate. Whatever. He missed out on the pure paradise of my body strewn with rubbery cheese,” Narah explained.

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