NEC Has The Drive To Make Important Change, But Administration Won’t Let Us Turn The Res Into A Lazy River
OpinionStudent Life April 26, 2024
The students’ planned for all 37 members of the organization to swim in the same clockwise direction to create a “whirlpool.” Once the water really got rushing, they would throw a few inner tubes in for regular students to enjoy.
Read moreTroy Bolton? Fowler Forced To Choose Between Love For Tap Dancing And Hockey
Campus CultureSports April 11, 2024
“I’m petrified,” said Jacob Fowler (CSOM ‘27) “People know me for who I am on the ice, but I feel most myself on the stage…The rhythm of my shoes clicking and clacking as I hop and prance, it’s the most electric feeling.”
Read moreSlimers Stuns at Green Careers Night
Uncategorized April 10, 2024
“In a shock to all, Slimer, the Mean Green Ghost from Ghostbusters, slithered into Gasson 100 to stun the Green employers and alumni.”
Read moreLTE From The Moon Club President
Campus CultureLTEWTF April 8, 2024
Everyone won’t shut up about summer and tanning and blah blah blah. Who fucking cares! Get some sun on the quad on a different day, I just want to get high in the afternoon and watch that shit cover the sun. Stay pale, I literally dare you.
Read moreBarrel of Oil To Replace Baldwin As BC Mascot
Uncategorized April 6, 2024
Ax observed the tree’s inability to photosynthesize following second hand Mango Crave exposure, along with root rot from pure cringe. “You don’t need to be a scientist to know that hearing Doses and Mimosas every weekend isn’t good for ecological sustainability.”
Read moreBC Raises Cost Of Attendance To 88k, Fifty Cattle, Pound Of Gold, Firstborn Son
School April 3, 2024
“‘Bounties that must be paid to the University starting next year include fifty of a student’s finest cows, one pound of pure gold, the hearts of four Boston University students, the deed to a Cape Cod beach house, a left kidney, and a one-page supplemental essay assuring Father Leahy that he is doing a great job'”
Read moreWill Smith’s Hat-trick Attributed To Teammate Ambrosio’s Hat Tricks
Campus CultureSports March 26, 2024
The Classic was deeply touched to learn that the reasoning behind the Eagle’s win was admiration for a hat enthusiast’s magic tricks and not the multiple first-round draft picks BC has on its roster.
Read moreThank God! My Acapella Roommate Is On Vocal Rest This Weekend
Campus CultureStudent Life March 21, 2024
You heard that right, vocal rest. A whole day prior to their performance where every team member must protect their vocal chords by shutting the fuck up!
Read moreProfessors Replaced By Kiosks
School March 20, 2024
“‘We thought it might be best to start rolling out our kiosk professors in the most straightforward discipline. Things like finance might be too difficult for a robot to explain, but things like the meaning of life, or the existence of God, felt like the right alley to try this out,’ noted representatives from the administration.”
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