For more gut-wrenching content, check out the email sent by Father Leahy around five on March 11, 2020. Read more
Hey! Are you back living in your childhood bedroom? Are you a broke college student who is hurting from not being included in the COVID relief bill and rationing money to buy weed from that kid who dropped out of your high school? Are you already sick of your... Read more
Touched By Tragedy: Todd Was Supposed To Be In Barcelona This Weekend
AbroadCoronavirus April 9, 2020
WESTCHESTER COUNTY, NEW YORK — Having returned home more than two months early from his semester abroad in Dublin, Todd Lombardi (CSOM ’21) has reportedly been reminding his family he was “supposed to be in Barcelona this weekend.” The sentiment, while heartfelt, seemingly ignores the push notifications on his... Read more
Mom Can’t Believe You Got Kicked From Housing Group, Thought They Were All Very Nice Boys
CoronavirusStudent Life March 30, 2020
Kelly went on to describe the situation as “fucked,” a comment which Mrs. Kelly disapproved of as she “did not raise [him] to use that language.”
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LTE: Uh, Why Is Molly In My Zoom Class?
CoronavirusStudent Life March 27, 2020
Like what you see? Stuck at your parents house? Browse our site for more juicy, immunocompromised content! Read more
I should have been an emergency fire exit in Higgins, or a reflection room door on Newton campus. A sane man would have put me anywhere else. Instead, I am the Super Tiny Door Into Eagles. The tastiest licks in all of BC lie behind my hinges: soup with... Read more
Campus Ministry Begins Individually Plastic-Wrapping Communion Wafers
CoronavirusJesuits March 10, 2020
McELROY COMMONS — The Office of Campus Ministry announced Tuesday morning that effective immediately all eucharistic wafers will be individually wrapped in saran wrap. The statement was communicated to the Boston College community in an email which also included the phrase “care for the whole person” 17 times. “Due... Read more
PARKERSBERG, WEST VIRGINIA — Students in APPA group #42 have taken a break from building houses for the impoverished to get REALLY high in the mountains of Appalachia. “Dabs with the bros are what make this experience so worthwhile,” said Eleanor Restucci (CSOM ‘21), referring to her G-Slim 2800... Read more
Appa Group #24 Placed At Schiller Institute
ServiceStudent Life February 28, 2020
To ensure that the group would be able to work on the site, construction of the Schiller Institute has been officially registered as a Habitat for Humanity site, and will likely make use of hundreds of plucky volunteers until its anticipated opening in 2021.
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STOKES LAWN — A discovery by the NEC Sandwichlight team has uncovered multiple damning reports alleging that hundreds of Boston College students have suspicious smudges of dirt on their foreheads. Reports began piling up early this morning and have not died down all day. Junior Katy Chisim told The... Read more