The New England Classic
NASDAQ To Headline Modstocks, Dow Jones To Open
WALL STREET — NASDAQ will headline this year’s Modstocks, the Campus Activities Board (CAB) announced Tuesday. Dow Jones, 2019 Battle of the Bonds winner, will open for the annual spring trading event. Last year’s headliner, the S&P 500, faced controversy after the index was found to support flat earth... Read more
“Hey, How Was Your Brake?” Asks Guy Inquiring About Roommate’s Car Inspection
IGNACIO HALL—Jeff Lube (MCAS ’19) received some interesting information yesterday when he asked his roommate how his brake was after getting his car inspected. “It was pretty good, actually,” responded Gary Michaels-Croswell (CSOM ’19). “Oil needed to be changed and had to get a headlight replaced, but other than... Read more
What To Do When Your French Roommate Jean-Pierre Labeouf Won’t Stop Putting Cigarette Ash In Your House Plants Even Though You Specifically Asked Him Not To

Ugh, Jean-Pierre. Even saying his name makes you wince, like you just took a bite of a really shitty lemon. A lemon called Labeouf.

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This Article Is Just 11 GIFs Of Kevin Spilling The Chili, And We Know You Sheeple Will Still Love It
Why even bother writing a lede? Why bother putting effort into our content? Why bother doing anything at all when nothing matters except Kevin from The Office (U.S.) spilling the chili? Feast your simple brains on this. 1. Kevin spilling the chili   2. Kevin spilling the chili ... Read more
Perfectly Healthy Freshman Male Sure Is Going Through A Lot Of Tissues
MEDEIROS HALL C39 — On Wednesday, Richard Holder (MCAS ’22) noticed that his roommate Jack Offner (CSOM ’22) had an abundance of used tissues in the wastebasket beside his bed. Despite the large number of tissues, Offner seems completely free of cold or flu symptoms. “Maybe he’s just crying... Read more
CSOM Bad

CSOM Bad

SchoolWTF April 17, 2019

FULTON HALL — A report been done has say that CSOM bad. This report done by CSOM (bad) and confirmding this is the school’s spokesguy who speaks at school and says, “CSOM bad.” Students in and teachers at Boston’s College are agree with CSOM bad. MCAS guy Steven Stevens,... Read more
Regular Old Tyrion Lannister Tries To Turn ‘Thrones’ Conversation Into Sex

“I’ve actually been thinking a lot about Jorah, in the books he doesn’t really have greyscale because this guy Jon Connington, who’s been escorting Aegon Targaryen around, gets greyscale, so I’m wondering if he’ll be cured and make it to the end. So, can we get out of here, or do you want to hear my thoughts about The Golden Company and the elephants?”

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We Got Really Drunk And Ranked All 26 Letters Of The Alphabet
We’re tired of people not taking us seriously as a legitimate source of news and journalism here at BC. So fine, you want real reporting, you’ll get real reporting. Here’s a ranking of every letter in the alphabet from worst to best. 26) W – The clear choice for... Read more
OPINION: If Global Warming Is Real, Then Explain To Me Why I Got Hypothermia From Swimming Naked In The Res
Over the past two decades, there’s been a great deal of concern over global warming and its impending effects on our planet. Be it scientists, activists, or Green Party member and 2016 presidential candidate Jill Stein, people around the world are laying out the facts and calling on all... Read more
British Student Walks Up Left Side Of Million Dollar Stairs
GABELLI PLAZA — British student Elizabeth Queen (MCAS ’22) caused mayhem on the Million Dollar Stairs on Wednesday when she used the left side of the stairs to ascend the incline. “Blokes do everything so different on this side of the pond,” said Queen. “So it’s parky out and... Read more