“We didn’t even really do anything that bad, but I guess it was important to say something ahead of these St. Patty’s [sic] Day shenanigans,” read their attempt at an apology. “Sure, we might’ve reduced their discipline to a wee minor, bastardized their entire language, and deliberately poisoned all potatoes in their breakroom, but can I get a sláyyy-ante?!”
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Local Royalist Turns Ginger Run into Running of the Bulls
AbroadCampus CultureDrinkingHolidays March 14, 2025
“Y’know I was eight pints deep making da rounds ‘round Mod 18B moving like a priest at last call, and next ting y’know I’m horn-to-arse with a feckin’ bull charging at me like I owed it a fiver,” said Róisín MacDonagh, one of 17 redheads on the BC Irish Dance team. “My heart still felt for the poor ting y’know. Probably had no granny who loved him. No granpappy to sing it lullabies, let me tell ya.”
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Reslife Builds Houseboats On Res To Combat Lack Of Housing Hot
AbroadDorm StuffResLife March 13, 2025
The Fleet’s application demographic has skewed prominently female, with a high concentration of Philosophy, Art History, and Political Science majors. “I mean me and all the girls studied abroad in Amsterdam last spring, and it was truly life changing,” said Didi Telyaistudydabrawd (MCAS ‘25).
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Inspired By Trump’s New Immigration Policies, Leahy Creates A Newton Travel Ban Hot
Big IssuesFreshmenNewton March 12, 2025
“They come in here and steal everything,” said Nobe Itches, an Upper Campus freshman (CSOM ‘28). “They steal our food, our seats in class, and worst of all, they snatch our huzz.”
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In his statement, Baldwin admitted his decision was not an easy one. Only after he talked to Rhett, the BU Terrier, who decided to give up humping the other student section for Lent, did Baldwin decide to embark on a 40-day journey of self-control.
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Students So Happy Underdeveloped Country Was So Cheap Hot
AbroadBig IssuesDrinking March 10, 2025
“Where I was, a margarita was four dollars and I didn’t even have to tip. It’s just so awesome how they all get paid a livable wage.”
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Awkward! Pre-Law Student’s Only Job Experience Is Representing Himself In Court
SchoolStudent Life February 27, 2025
Spictor had gained a reputation on campus for his argumentative prowess and for wearing a tie that was tied like shoelaces. He’s played the devil’s advocate in nearly every class discussion he’s been in.
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LTE: Why Is My “Hookup” Showing Me His Track Highlights?
Campus CultureLTESex February 25, 2025
It started out over our bond for our shared love of running. Yes, he is on the BC Track Team. Yes, I only run when Two Saints gets raided, but I was honestly willing to commit to the bit for the dick.
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The Classic caught up with Tennant in his Vandy 8-man, or “HQ”, just one day after he learned of his placement at the University of Learnenschoolen in Switzerland.
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Fr. Butler Clarifies Last Name Not Due To Affinity For Service But Elitist Beliefs
Big IssuesSchool February 20, 2025
As Butler expounded on his life story, his motivations became clear. In kindergarten he was helping hold silver spoons in the mouths of trust fund kids, writing Santa to ask him to give his gift allotment to ExxonMobil, and drafting petitions in Sunday School asking the Pope to request a class system in Heaven.
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