The New England Classic
Jeff Hafley Changes BC Football Slogan To “Everyone’s A Winner”

The players seem to have a positive outlook on next year’s season. According to a survey distributed by The Classic, the team describes the upcoming rebrand as “cool, I guess,” “what does rebrand mean,” and “as long as i get the scooter idc.”

Read more
Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th
CHESTNUT HILL ​​— Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more
“We’re Totally Grabbing Lunch Over Break,” Say High School Friends Who Will Definitely Not Be Grabbing Lunch Over Break
NEEDHAM, MA  — As BC students flock home for Thanksgiving, the impending doom of being forced to reunite with highschool acquaintances has led many to adopt tactics of negotiation and diplomacy.  Anita Brake (MCAS ‘25), excitedly posted an obligatory “Goodbye Chestnut Hill, hello Needham” boomerang on her story to commemorate... Read more
Athlete Scoots Home For The Holidays Due To Surge In Flight Prices

However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”

Read more
Dennis Grosel’s Dad Complains To Jeff Hafley About Son’s Playing Time

When questioned, Dennis Senior was open to speaking on the topic, “Yeah I spoke to the Ol’ Haf. I showed him Lil Denny’s highlight reel from St. Ignatius High School. Since I was already there, I offered up some plays that I used in college when I was a walk-on defensive end in ’87.”

Read more
Vending Machine Accepts Another Generous Donation
VANDERSLICE HALL — Boston College has long encouraged its students to be “men and women for others.” Whether this be through service-based classes, organizations like ForBoston, or general acts of kindness, many undergraduates have embraced this mission throughout their time at BC. Recent buzz has brought into the spotlight... Read more
Bert and Ernie Down the Hall Look Suspiciously Like Puppets

“Whenever I dap either of them up, they can never really get the hang of it. It’s like someone else is controlling their limbs.” Commented Oscar de Grouch (MCAS ’25) “Their hands are pretty small too, I thought it was just because they’re kinda short kings, but now I think otherwise.”

Read more
Pro-Life Club Replaces Table Representatives With Brick Wall

The student body seemed to welcome the new addition to campus. One passerby, Secks Halver (MCAS ’24), shared her thoughts. “It’s amazing! It really is just like talking to the club members. I can’t wait to sit down every week and just duke it out with the wall. It’s gonna be cathartic.”

Read more
Test Tube Baby? This Guy’s Parents Conceived In Chem Lab

“I don’t really think he understands that two people raw-dogging it on a lab bench is not the same as an embryo grown in a lab.”

Read more
A Man For Others: This Guy Warms Every Chair Before His Class

“I see that kid in there at 8:00 AM, 7:30 even. Every week. He sits in each chair in that classroom, gets ‘em good and warm. Even talks to them sometimes. Before he moves on to the next one, he gives one tender little kiss.”

Read more