The New England Classic
Marathon Runner Revived By Pink Whitney Nip
HEARTBREAK HILL – After months of training and relentless Strava posts, Boston Marathon runners are finally gearing up to run for four hours without collapsing or shitting their pants. But the marathon runners aren’t the only ones who’ve been training for this day… Boston College students have been preparing... Read more
Man Cooks Up ALC Showdown Parlay Following Tragic March Madness Bracket Loss

However, once he realized his mistake and discussed the issue with the boys (many of whom had made the same mistake) Swatcher realized that he could use the event to quench his thirst for competition and fuel his ever-present gambling addiction.

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Pro-Life Club Sponsors Baby Petting Zoo

“The Pro-Life Club recently made waves within the BC community after the unveiling of their newest social event: the Baby Petting Zoo, featuring actual human infants ranging in age from 4 months, all the way up to 3 years old.”

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Circle Tavern Installs Bright Lights, Hockey Team Fails to Show Up

“Ah, y’know, umm, when we were performing in that forgiving, low-stakes environment, y’know it’s just an all-out assault on the [bar-]tendy, throwing a lot of [Jägermeister] shots back,” said another player who could never finish his shots. “But now that they installed the bright lights, that high-pressure environment just became too much for us.”

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UGBC President Signs 17 Executive Orders On First Day of Administration

In line with global political trends, the administration plans to implement projects that, in the words of one genius commentator, “make shit fucking suck even more than it already does”

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Guy Spent 5 Hours On Bracket But 20 Minutes on Group Project

His slides consisted of him ranking freshmen in Gonzaga and Xavier by height because he thought they were playing in the tournament.

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LTE: I’m The Fountain Outside Of Gasson Hall, And I Gave Up Water For Lent

“I am a fountain that doesn’t even have fucking water in it. It was a stupid thing to give up water for Lent. I only did it because Fr. Leahy told me that if I wanted to stay on this Jesuit campus I had to engage with my faith more.”

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Day In The Life Of A UGBC VP Candidate

I start every morning with affirmations, not for myself, but for the entirety of Foster Street. I shout “You are brave, you are kind, and you are smart” from my rooftop

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Local Royalist Turns Ginger Run into Running of the Bulls

“Y’know I was eight pints deep making da rounds ‘round Mod 18B moving like a priest at last call, and next ting y’know I’m horn-to-arse with a feckin’ bull charging at me like I owed it a fiver,” said Róisín MacDonagh, one of 17 redheads on the BC Irish Dance team. “My heart still felt for the poor ting y’know. Probably had no granny who loved him. No granpappy to sing it lullabies, let me tell ya.”

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LTE: Why Is My “Hookup” Showing Me His Track Highlights?

It started out over our bond for our shared love of running. Yes, he is on the BC Track Team. Yes, I only run when Two Saints gets raided, but I was honestly willing to commit to the bit for the dick.

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