The New England Classic
Troy Bolton? Fowler Forced To Choose Between Love For Tap Dancing And Hockey

“I’m petrified,” said Jacob Fowler (CSOM ‘27) “People know me for who I am on the ice, but I feel most myself on the stage…The rhythm of my shoes clicking and clacking as I hop and prance, it’s the most electric feeling.”

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LTE From The Moon Club President

Everyone won’t shut up about summer and tanning and blah blah blah. Who fucking cares! Get some sun on the quad on a different day, I just want to get high in the afternoon and watch that shit cover the sun. Stay pale, I literally dare you. 

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Will Smith’s Hat-trick Attributed To Teammate Ambrosio’s Hat Tricks

The Classic was deeply touched to learn that the reasoning behind the Eagle’s win was admiration for a hat enthusiast’s magic tricks and not the multiple first-round draft picks BC has on its roster.

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Thank God! My Acapella Roommate Is On Vocal Rest This Weekend

You heard that right, vocal rest. A whole day prior to their performance where every team member must protect their vocal chords by shutting the fuck up!

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LTE: I’m T-pain, You Know Me–T-Pain Wrote This Article

I’m T-Pain, you know me! What’s your name? Let me talk to ‘em! 

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LTE: All Good Deeds Are Inherently Selfish

At the end of the day are we not just serving ourselves? I over serve myself in alcohol and you over serve yourself in the reception of gratitude and acknowledgement, are we both not drunk?

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Freshman Failing Lit Core Claims Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” Is “Literally Her”

‘Well, Travis obviously inspired a lot on the album. I feel the same inspiration for my Insta stories from my boyfriend, Noah. He was a second string quarterback in high school, so… we get it.’

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10 Surefire Ways To Secure Beanpot Tickets

However, the Classic has come across an exclusive list of the tasks required for students to get their grubby little mitts on some highly-coveted tickets to the big game.

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Chocolate Bar Introduces Screens To Entertain Impatient iPad Kids

At press time, drooling students were seen gathering in a concert-sized crowd as the lead student completed an extremely difficult level of Geometry Dash — with a hydraulic press video in the background.

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“We’re Just Like Taylor And Travis” Says Acapella Lead And Her Club Golf Boyfriend

“’Karma is the guy on the Green, golfing straight home to me.’” 

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