“It’s Actually Kind Of Underground…” WZBC Host Is Going To “Music City” For Fall Break
Campus CultureStudent Life October 9, 2026
The itinerary for Indy’s weekend includes trips to grassroot speakeasies featuring bluegrass acoustic girl bands, Dollywood, and a local brewery for pumpkin IPAs.
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Bzzz! CAB Pledge Orders Wrong Type Of Roses Hot
Campus CultureSexStudent Life October 6, 2026
When Mr. Bates’ superior told him that “single ladies love this event” and he should “only order roses,” Bates began to pick up on what was going on.
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BCPD Declares War On Fun
Campus CultureSports September 30, 2026
“Students are simply enjoying themselves too much,” said BCPD Chief Happ E. Nesshater, during a recent press conference. “That’s why we are announcing our War on Fun. It is important to the Jesuit values of this institution that all student tomfoolery, lollygagging, horsin’ around, monkey business, dilly-dallying, and shenanigans be crushed under the righteous boot of justice.”
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Jesus Turns Water Into Iced Brown Sugar Shaken Espresso For Espresso Your Faith Week
Campus CultureJesuits September 24, 2026
“I was pretty religious before, but when I saw that Jesus charged 70 cents extra for oatmilk, I started to rethink my faith altogether,” said Theo Logical (MCAS ‘28). “But, my flex dollars just ran out this morning, so safe to say my faith has been reaffirmed.”
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Eaters Rejoice As Women’s Center Now Offers “Cookie Mondays”
Campus CultureWTF September 21, 2026
Every Monday, the girls gather to munch cookies straight from the box, all while washing them down with the event’s signature accompaniments: oat milk and cranberry juice. Organizers insist the event is exactly what it sounds like: women coming together to eat cookies.
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Junior Girl Abroad Takes Pill in Ibiza to Fulfill Cultural Diversity Core
AbroadCampus CultureStudent Life September 17, 2026
The university originally rejected Rall’s proposal, noting that spending 36 hours in “Ibitha” and telling everyone she is “basically fluent,” did not constitute becoming a global citizen. Administrators reversed the decision Monday after CAB announced Posner, known for the hit “I took a pill in Ibiza” as the Stokes Set Headliner.
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Econ Major Larps As CSOM Student
Big IssuesCampus Culture September 14, 2026
Concerned roommates of economics major Poe Zur (MCAS ‘29), reached out to The Classic detailing Zur’s worrying behavior in past weeks. “Bro leaves the eight-man head to toe in Peter Millar,” one Walsh roommate said. “After that, I never saw him. Poe’s either in Fulton pretending to be busy on Excel or crushing Colorado Kool-Aids at Circle.” Another roommate then asked if The Classic would shadow Zur for the day; our findings were shocking.
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UHS Hands Out Free Cigarettes To Promote Chainsmokers Concert
Campus CultureStudent Life September 9, 2026
People Have Never Been More Supportive Of My Two-Mile Monday Jog
BostonCampus CultureUncategorized September 9, 2026
Monday mornings, Jo Gurr (LSEHD ‘26) always takes a 2.61 mile jaunt along Commonwealth Avenue. This Monday, Gurr found passerby to be extremely uplifting and enthusiastic about her getting in daily exercise.
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Free The Nipple: Female Students Feel Left Out Of Shirtless Spikeball Fun
Campus CultureStudent Life September 9, 2026
“Honestly, this movement has truly changed my perspective on life. I think I’m a boob guy now.”
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