Local Royalist Turns Ginger Run into Running of the Bulls
AbroadCampus CultureDrinkingHolidays March 14, 2025
“Y’know I was eight pints deep making da rounds ‘round Mod 18B moving like a priest at last call, and next ting y’know I’m horn-to-arse with a feckin’ bull charging at me like I owed it a fiver,” said Róisín MacDonagh, one of 17 redheads on the BC Irish Dance team. “My heart still felt for the poor ting y’know. Probably had no granny who loved him. No granpappy to sing it lullabies, let me tell ya.”
Read moreLTE: Why Is My “Hookup” Showing Me His Track Highlights?
Campus CultureLTESex February 25, 2025
It started out over our bond for our shared love of running. Yes, he is on the BC Track Team. Yes, I only run when Two Saints gets raided, but I was honestly willing to commit to the bit for the dick.
Read moreCSOM Student Forced To Withdrawal From “Introduction To Feminisms” After Stating Pronouns Are U/S/A
Campus Culture February 18, 2025
“‘Pronouns? Like a person, place, or thing? Oh yeah, I’ve got those nouns. They’re U/S/A actually,’ said Anizer while subtly flexing his straight-from-the-plex bicep pump.”
Read more10 Questions The Marriage Pact Missed
Campus CultureListsSex January 30, 2025
“The Classic set out to research: How can we make the Marriage Pact even more accurate? The following are additional questions that would guarantee 100% matches for all students across campus.”
Read moreTheater Kid Friend Could’ve Gone Broadway If He Hadn’t Torn His ACL
Campus CultureFeaturedStudent Life January 29, 2025
Alas, one fateful day during his senior year production of SpongeBob: The Musical, Threat’s Broadway dreams were shattered when he broke a leg slipping on an unfortunately placed banana peel during final dress rehearsals.
Read more“Cultured” Students Return From Abroad: Campus Pickpocketing At A High
AbroadCampus Culture January 14, 2025
For those who stayed on campus in the Fall semester, get ready to lose your sanity hearing your acquaintance gab about their “eye-opening experiences”, along with maybe losing your wallet in your backpack when around them.
Read moreAn Overdue Celebration: Happy Men’s Week from The New England Classic!
Campus CultureStudent Life November 15, 2024
Drink some beer. Cheat on your girlfriend. Call your mom a bitch. Eat some raw meat. Shoot a gun. Ball out. Go fucking crazy. This week is for us. Let’s bring back manly men.
Read moreLiz Cheney Found Searching Through Upper Dorms, Claims To Find Weapons of Mass Destruction
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF October 28, 2024
Yikes! My Priest Is Texting On The Other Side Of The Confessional
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life October 23, 2024
“While most priests hold this as one of their highest duties to God, some priests like to get a little wacky after a few too many sips of Christ blood.”
Read moreLTE: Who Put Me In Charge Of Coordinating Fall Break For Every College Ever
Campus CultureHolidaysLTE October 17, 2024
If it weren’t for me, you fuckers wouldn’t be watching a Morgan Wallen cosplayer at a bar in Nashville.
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