The New England Classic
Newton Plague Survivors Debate Whether It’s Safe To Leave Their Bunker
NEWTON CAMPUS — In the basement of Keyes South, seven plague survivors have barricaded themselves in the basement study lounge for the past nine days. In an interview conducted via hushed FaceTime call, one of the students, Sophie Kelly (CSOM ’22), admitted that she and her companion are getting... Read more
Student Body To Decide Who Gets To Add ‘UGBC President’ To Their Resume
CHESTNUT HILL — Tension on campus has been palpable this week as the student body prepares for yet another heated UGBC election. After an intense series of debates, knocking on doors, and making Facebook profile picture frames, Thursday’s election will determine just which candidate will have the distinct honor... Read more
Campus Racists Attend “Acquitted Eagles Day”

Historically, Boston College has refrained from using “weighted” words such as “racist,” “hate-crime,” and “responsible,” but Sunday’s summit faced that language head-on, aiming to exonerate its attendees of any reason to associate the phrases with themselves.

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MA’s To Re-open For Three Weeks, No Funding For Bathroom Wall
CLEVELAND CIRCLE — A deal struck among the owners of Boston College’s favorite dive bar will allow Mary Ann’s to reopen its doors, but only for three weeks. Mary Ann’s, also known as MA’s (also ALSO known as Mary Ann’s Family Style Italian Restaurant), shuttered its doors last month... Read more
BC Megadonor Excited For Rec Center To Be Called “New Plex”
MARGOT CONNELL RECREATION CENTER™ — Boston College trustee associate Margot C. Connell (Hon. ’09) announced on Wednesday that she is looking forward to students using and enjoying the “New Plex” when it opens later this year. This nickname, already growing in popularity among the student body, is believed to... Read more
Aspiring Sommelier Pairs Mango Juul Pod With Lime Rubi

“I have lots more pairings coming soon,” Rider said. “I just copped some tobacco pods, I think they’ll go really well with unflavored Rubi. I’ll probably expand into dab pen stuff soon, that market is growing so fast, you know?”

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Do Not Stand Idly By As BC Destroys Its Finest Cultural Institution
Here at The New England Classic, our editorial Sandwichboard rarely, if ever, directly comments on campus ongoings. In most normal situations, we believe that clever satire and silly photoshops can say a heck of a lot more than whatever comes out of soapbox shouting and editorial grandstanding. Unfortunately, this... Read more
Eduroam Flooded With “How to tie a tie” Before Career Fair
CONTE FORUM — In just a few hours, hundreds of business casual-clad Boston College students will descend upon the Career and Internship Fair in the hopes of landing “the big one.” Resumes, business cards, and firm handshakes will all be exchanged in the name of capitalism, but one important... Read more