Campus Culture Archives | The New England Classic

Local Dandelion Slut Blows Every Blossom In Town

Campus Culture Sex April 22, 2021

“We get that it’s Earth Day and all,” said Connie Serned (CSON ’23), “but Jesus Christ, I watched him lick a dandelion slowly from top to bottom yesterday on the grass outside of Lower. That can’t be right.”

British Royal Navy Invades CAB World Fair

Big Issues Campus Culture April 21, 2021

The sailors made the quick stop on their trip to find the Northwest Passage so that they could investigate the cultures of the territories they were about to occupy.

10 Things I’d Rather Do Than Be At The Boston Logan International Airport

Boston Campus Culture Leahy Student Life Uncategorized April 16, 2021

Live on CoRo all four years. I’d rather make the commute from exile every damn day than have to walk the marathon from the parking garage to the check-in desk even once. Talk to Molly’s owner for longer than .2 seconds. I’d give that man my instagram handle- hell,... Read more

Wicked Pissah: Roommate Has Strong Stream

Campus Culture Dorm Stuff WTF April 13, 2021

WALSH HALL — Students were disrupted late Sunday night by what reportedly sounded like a firehose from the bathroom of Suite 304. Reports indicate that this was no ordinary tinkle, but instead was categorized by Boston-based experts as a “Wicked Pissah.” The Classic obtained access to reports from the... Read more

“BC Before Dark” To Offer Sippy Cups For Little Stupid Babies Who Can’t Drink

Campus Culture Drinking April 12, 2021

“For the first time in a long time, I feel seen,” said Smalls Gerber (MCAS ’22)”

16 Signs There’s A Furry Sleeping Next To You

Campus Culture Dorm Stuff WTF April 9, 2021

“In front of Gasson, they give what sounds like a deep, guttural bark back at Molly. Actually, it was probably towards her owner. You forgive it immediately.”

University Approves Pine Manor Conjugal Visits

Campus Culture Coronavirus Sex April 6, 2021

“We want to take this opportunity to support our married students in their quest to be fruitful and multiply, even if they might have COVID-19.”

WOAH! Boy Legs!

Campus Culture Student Life March 31, 2021

THAT FIELD ON THE PLEX GRAVEYARD — The student body of Boston College has been positively feral recently. With relatively warm temperatures, sunny blue skies, and seemingly unlimited access to lawn games, everyone has been taking advantage of the changing of the seasons. The peak of this excitement occurred... Read more

MUN Roommate Needs You To Be Quiet So That They Can Launch A Missile

Campus Culture Dorm Stuff Featured March 30, 2021

“I was the one who got to announce that the projectiles had entered foreign airspace, so I really just needed the dorm quiet for a hot minute.”

LTE: I Paid For This Mulch So I Am Taking Some Just For Me

Campus Culture LTE Student Life March 27, 2021

When the mounds of mulch arrive on campus, I know it from a mile away. And I take some. In my hand, to my house. Just for me.