“We’re Just Like Taylor And Travis” Says Acapella Lead And Her Club Golf Boyfriend
Campus CultureSportsStudent Life November 16, 2023
“’Karma is the guy on the Green, golfing straight home to me.’”
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BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed
Big IssuesCampus CultureDrinking November 10, 2023
Sure, you might have seen the first page of #THEPATH, which includes things like the Eagles having to win out the league and Virginia having to beat Louisville in the games this weekend, but little did readers know that there was an entire second side of #THEPATH.
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Shrouded in the mystique of do-goodery and philanthropy, these “arrupites,” as The Classic calls them, greet hungry students with puppy eyes, outstretched palms, and wide open pockets. Arrupe is their name and greed is their game.
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Man Wearing Shorts in November Shocked You Didn’t Ask if He’s Cold
Campus CultureFreezerStudent Life November 1, 2023
Donning 7-inch inseam chinos and the gifted polo he got from his internship at Liberty Mutual this summer, Larsson was expecting (and hoping) that at least one person would tell him he’s crazy for going out in 40-degree weather in shorts.
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Spooky! My Life Sucks Because I Didn’t Send that Text Chain in Sixth Grade
Campus CultureSpooky October 26, 2023
“’It all started when I was twelve, after I ignored a chain text one of my so-called friends sent me. I should have known to take the ghoul’s curse seriously,’ Fortune told the Classic.”
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SPOOKY: Your Boyfriend is a Little TOO Excited to be Ken
Campus CultureHolidaysSpooky October 25, 2023
Halloweekend is almost here, an exciting weekend filled with binge-drinking, slutty little costumes, and an excuse to post yet another photo dump of you and your eight-man on your Instagram! This is also a great weekend to hard-launch your boyfriend of three days with a couples costume, which is exactly what B. Eared (CSON ‘26) is planning on doing with the love of her life, Klaus Ette (MCAS ‘26).
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BC’s Legal Lineup: Predictions for Who’s Diving into the Swim & Dive Legal Battle
Big IssuesCampus CultureSex October 21, 2023
After getting a team suspension due to hazing, BC Swim & Dive is lawyered up and ready for action. As BC prepares to defend itself, the Classic has acquired a leaked list of finalists for Boston College’s representatives in the legal battle with Swim & Dive.
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BC Alcohol Compliance Officer Ranked First in Jobs That Will Definitely Get You Laid
Big IssuesCampus CultureDrinkingSex October 18, 2023
U.S. News posted the rankings this past week with The New England Classic Staff Writer and Monster Truck Driver coming in positions two and three, respectively. Both of those positions pull more sexual partners than all other jobs with the exception of Alcohol Compliance Officer.
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BREAKING: The Most Narcissistic Person You know Just Launched A Podcast
Big IssuesCampus CultureStudent Life October 14, 2023
“It just makes sense. Throughout the day, he records voice memos on his phone that he plays back at night to lull himself to sleep.”
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A Crowded Newton Bus And 4 Other Places You NEED To End Your Situationship In
Campus CultureStudent Life October 12, 2023
“It’s day 30 of my time here at BC, so I’d like to share my 5 favorite places to end things with the person who has made you incapable of feeling anything at all anymore.”
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