Campus Culture Archives | The New England Classic

An Overdue Celebration: Happy Men’s Week from The New England Classic!

Campus Culture Student Life November 15, 2024

Drink some beer. Cheat on your girlfriend. Call your mom a bitch. Eat some raw meat. Shoot a gun. Ball out. Go fucking crazy. This week is for us. Let’s bring back manly men.

Liz Cheney Found Searching Through Upper Dorms, Claims To Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Big Issues Campus Culture WTF October 28, 2024

WHEREVER THE OIL IS — Former U.S. Representative Liz Cheney is set to speak at the Council for Women at Boston College Colloquium as part of her national tour to make everyone forget the actions of her father, aptly named former Vice President of the United States and Emperor-elect... Read more

Yikes! My Priest Is Texting On The Other Side Of The Confessional

Campus Culture Jesuits Leahy Student Life October 23, 2024

“While most priests hold this as one of their highest duties to God, some priests like to get a little wacky after a few too many sips of Christ blood.”

LTE: Who Put Me In Charge Of Coordinating Fall Break For Every College Ever

Campus Culture Holidays LTE October 17, 2024

If it weren’t for me, you fuckers wouldn’t be watching a Morgan Wallen cosplayer at a bar in Nashville.

Every Gated Community In NY Represented In “Diverse” Class Discussion

Big Issues Campus Culture School October 10, 2024

“What makes us different is what makes us special,” said Shell Turd (CSOM ’28). “I’ve met people from all over the place. I’ve met kids from Oakwood Heights, Pinebridge Estates, Elmton Ranch, and even Maplesden Village all the way out in Westchester!”

LTE: Service Club Rejected Me, Now I’m Never Helping Anyone

Campus Culture LTE Service October 1, 2024

I, a self-proclaimed servant for others, feel the time has come to address the service COC (crisis on campus). I have recently received word from various on-campus service organizations that my applications have been “enthusiastically yet apologetically redirected,” AKA — rejected.

Fuck! Student Who Never Does The Readings Just Made A Better Point Than You

Campus Culture School September 24, 2024

“Coe Stir (MCAS ’25) somehow delivered a profound and easily understandable analysis of Hobbesian political theory, despite clearly having no idea what was going on.”

Classics Department Thrilled For Battle Against Spartans

Campus Culture Sports September 20, 2024

STOKES AMPHITHEATER, A NEW ACROPOLIS — With BC football preparing for an epic game against the Michigan State Spartans, the students and professors of the Classical Studies Department have begun preparations of their own. “Those who hail from Sparta are brutal, warlike people,” said Professor Per C. Jakksun. “We... Read more

Classmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You

Big Issues Campus Culture Sports September 19, 2024

“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”

Cool Girl Alert: This Student Has Friends AND “Guy Friends”

Campus Culture Student Life September 18, 2024

“Mii says her favorite thing about her guy friends is when they get extremely drunk at social functions and finally ask her questions about her life, like what major she is.”