The New England Classic
Musical Theater Fan Asserts No Kings Protest Stole The Idea From Hamilton

“I was like WAITTTTTT…I think I’ve seen something like this before,” said Skyler Teatre (MCAS ‘28). “They literally just copied Lin Manuel Miranda’s play!”

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Fun! Your Upstairs Neighbor Is Practicing Their Tap Dancing For Showdown!

As Showdown grows closer, Boston College dance teams frantically prepare for their dance performances. Fuego members work tirelessly to hide their top-secret dance theme (Latin culture). Sexual Chocolate practices with its surprise on-stage guests: the nuns of St. Mary’s convent. Most relevant to you, Boston College On Tap members tap away on your ceiling all day and all night. 

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LTE: We’re “Two Friends,” But I Want To Be More Than Friends

When Friend #1 and I first started this journey, we really were just friends, but something slowly started to change. I always think of those early days in college remixing God’s Plan by Drake and Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac, standing so close we were practically sharing the same breath. We were two friends but one body working perfectly in unison.

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BC Dining Announces New Leprechaun Meat Burger

To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, BC Dining recently announced that it will serve a special Leprechaun Burger. The traditional Gaelic delight consists of a ground-leprechaun patty and will be offered in all dining halls from March 9th to 17th.

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Engineering Males Rejoice At New City Micro Peenery Announcement

In their infamous Discord server, Human Centered Engineering students have repeatedly shared the Micro Peenery’s application link. Perhaps they can work at the Micro Peenery before applying for an internship at America’s favorite SDE firm, Lockheed Martin.

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LTE: My Intramural Pickleball Team Could SO Beat Every Women’s Olympic Team

Watching all of the teams and analyzing their skills, I can confidently say that my intramural team could have absolutely beaten most, if not all, of the female Olympic teams. Even though my intramural team is for pickleball, plenty of my guys played JV, and some varsity hockey in high school. Those guys were top of their game at their New England prep schools, and could surely go right back to it if they played the women’s team.

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ALERT: Everyone Else Is In Class Today, Idiot! Now Your Professor Hates You

For the first time, each one of your classes has near perfect attendance. A total of 249/250 people in your 9:00 AM lecture are all happy, present, and ready to learn! Your professor is so proud of them. But you, you specifically, are absent. Fucking moron! Everyone is laughing at you!

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Kostka Girls Spotted Tanning As February Temperatures Reach A Record 42 Degrees

Spring has sprung on Boston College’s campus, with the 18 inches of snow on the ground dwindling down to a mere four. Puffers are unzipped, scarves have been stowed, and temperatures have climbed to a balmy 40 degrees (for a singular day).

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“Technically By Credits, I’m A Senior” Says 30-Year-Old Man At The 100 Days Dance

“Technically by credits, I’m a senior this year,” says Cho Pedunc (MCAS ‘18, MCAS ‘26), “So this year I was finally able to get my ticket. I am excited to get ‘sendy’ with my fellow eagles!”

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Boston College Announces Plans To Open New Satellite Campus In Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland

As part of President Donald J. Trump’s plan to annex Greenland, Trump has been working to establish an educational institute in the soon-to-be 51st state.

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