An Overdue Celebration: Happy Men’s Week from The New England Classic!
Campus CultureStudent Life November 15, 2024
Drink some beer. Cheat on your girlfriend. Call your mom a bitch. Eat some raw meat. Shoot a gun. Ball out. Go fucking crazy. This week is for us. Let’s bring back manly men.
Read moreLiz Cheney Found Searching Through Upper Dorms, Claims To Find Weapons of Mass Destruction
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF October 28, 2024
Yikes! My Priest Is Texting On The Other Side Of The Confessional
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life October 23, 2024
“While most priests hold this as one of their highest duties to God, some priests like to get a little wacky after a few too many sips of Christ blood.”
Read moreLTE: Who Put Me In Charge Of Coordinating Fall Break For Every College Ever
Campus CultureHolidaysLTE October 17, 2024
If it weren’t for me, you fuckers wouldn’t be watching a Morgan Wallen cosplayer at a bar in Nashville.
Read moreEvery Gated Community In NY Represented In “Diverse” Class Discussion
Big IssuesCampus CultureSchool October 10, 2024
“What makes us different is what makes us special,” said Shell Turd (CSOM ’28). “I’ve met people from all over the place. I’ve met kids from Oakwood Heights, Pinebridge Estates, Elmton Ranch, and even Maplesden Village all the way out in Westchester!”
Read moreLTE: Service Club Rejected Me, Now I’m Never Helping Anyone
Campus CultureLTEService October 1, 2024
I, a self-proclaimed servant for others, feel the time has come to address the service COC (crisis on campus). I have recently received word from various on-campus service organizations that my applications have been “enthusiastically yet apologetically redirected,” AKA — rejected.
Read moreFuck! Student Who Never Does The Readings Just Made A Better Point Than You
Campus CultureSchool September 24, 2024
“Coe Stir (MCAS ’25) somehow delivered a profound and easily understandable analysis of Hobbesian political theory, despite clearly having no idea what was going on.”
Read moreClassics Department Thrilled For Battle Against Spartans
Campus CultureSports September 20, 2024
Classmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You
Big IssuesCampus CultureSports September 19, 2024
“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”
Read moreCool Girl Alert: This Student Has Friends AND “Guy Friends”
Campus CultureStudent Life September 18, 2024
“Mii says her favorite thing about her guy friends is when they get extremely drunk at social functions and finally ask her questions about her life, like what major she is.”
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