Campus Culture Archives | The New England Classic

NASDAQ To Headline Modstocks, Dow Jones To Open

Campus Culture April 23, 2019

WALL STREET — NASDAQ will headline this year’s Modstocks, the Campus Activities Board (CAB) announced Tuesday. Dow Jones, 2019 Battle of the Bonds winner, will open for the annual spring trading event. Last year’s headliner, the S&P 500, faced controversy after the index was found to support flat earth... Read more

Regular Old Tyrion Lannister Tries To Turn ‘Thrones’ Conversation Into Sex

Campus Culture Sex April 16, 2019

“I’ve actually been thinking a lot about Jorah, in the books he doesn’t really have greyscale because this guy Jon Connington, who’s been escorting Aegon Targaryen around, gets greyscale, so I’m wondering if he’ll be cured and make it to the end. So, can we get out of here, or do you want to hear my thoughts about The Golden Company and the elephants?”

British Student Walks Up Left Side Of Million Dollar Stairs

Campus Culture April 10, 2019

GABELLI PLAZA — British student Elizabeth Queen (MCAS ’22) caused mayhem on the Million Dollar Stairs on Wednesday when she used the left side of the stairs to ascend the incline. “Blokes do everything so different on this side of the pond,” said Queen. “So it’s parky out and... Read more

Student Asks Class Facebook Group If Anyone Wants Anything From CVS

Campus Culture Service April 3, 2019

CLEVELAND CIRCLE — Local samaritan Katie Rollhouse (LSOE ’21) posted an offer on the Official Boston College Class of 2021 Facebook group to pick up any items people might need from CVS. Since being published, the post has received a staggering number of “wow” and “angry” reacts — along... Read more

8-Man Expecting Way Too Much From Single String of Lights

Campus Culture Student Life March 12, 2019

“It was, like, so dark in there. I accidentally mixed my vodka with milk.”

REPORT: Thomas More Apartments Is Called That Because It Has More Thomases Than Any Other Building On Campus

Campus Culture ResLife February 26, 2019

“It was never our intention to invoke a sense of Catholicism in any way, shape, or form,” one administrator admitted in a later memo.

Newton Plague Survivors Debate Whether It’s Safe To Leave Their Bunker

Campus Culture Freshmen February 18, 2019

NEWTON CAMPUS — In the basement of Keyes South, seven plague survivors have barricaded themselves in the basement study lounge for the past nine days. In an interview conducted via hushed FaceTime call, one of the students, Sophie Kelly (CSOM ’22), admitted that she and her companion are getting... Read more

Student Body To Decide Who Gets To Add ‘UGBC President’ To Their Resume

Campus Culture February 13, 2019

CHESTNUT HILL — Tension on campus has been palpable this week as the student body prepares for yet another heated UGBC election. After an intense series of debates, knocking on doors, and making Facebook profile picture frames, Thursday’s election will determine just which candidate will have the distinct honor... Read more

Campus Racists Attend “Acquitted Eagles Day”

Big Issues Campus Culture School February 12, 2019

Historically, Boston College has refrained from using “weighted” words such as “racist,” “hate-crime,” and “responsible,” but Sunday’s summit faced that language head-on, aiming to exonerate its attendees of any reason to associate the phrases with themselves.

MA’s To Re-open For Three Weeks, No Funding For Bathroom Wall

Campus Culture February 8, 2019

CLEVELAND CIRCLE — A deal struck among the owners of Boston College’s favorite dive bar will allow Mary Ann’s to reopen its doors, but only for three weeks. Mary Ann’s, also known as MA’s (also ALSO known as Mary Ann’s Family Style Italian Restaurant), shuttered its doors last month... Read more