Student Life Archives | The New England Classic

This Guy Wearing Harvard Sweatshirt Wants Everyone To Know He Got Waitlisted

Campus Culture Student Life September 7, 2023

“‘I got this sweatshirt on my tour of Harvard a couple of years ago, and although Harvard wasn’t the right fit for me in the end, this sweatshirt definitely is'”

Girl Who Donates Plasma Calls OnlyFans A “Disgrace”

Student Life March 26, 2023

While it’s not TikTok or buying clothes made in sweatshops and selling them for a normal price, one girl, Doe Nerr (CSON ‘23), has found quite an interesting way to pay for rent and support herself — one that would for sure put her grandparents in a coma if they found out. “I sell my plasma,” Nerr told The Classic, “Two days a week I go into the clinic and let a nurse suck me of some weird yellow liquid I don’t really think I need. $300 a week!”

5 Places Your Short Ginger Friend May Be Hiding Today

Holidays Student Life March 17, 2023

If your little red-headed friend is nowhere to be found at the end of the rainbow, then the Classic has you covered! We’ve listed the top-5 most likely hiding places for your short ginger friend on this grand day. Sláinte!

Student Awakes From Late-Afternoon Nap, Immediately Prepares for Early-Evening Nap

School Student Life February 23, 2023

“A nap helps me stay motivated,” said Restful, already fluffing her pillow. “It gets me ready to get down to business and pump out some assignments.” Opening her laptop, Restful proceeded to spend a half-hour on Instagram before closing her laptop again. “I definitely couldn’t do without it.”

Application Mishap Places Study Abroad Hopeful At Barcelona Wine Bar

Abroad Student Life February 21, 2023

Terbrain said that she never thought twice about the interview at the restaurant, believing that it was simply to confirm her eligibility for the abroad program. “I spent the whole time talking about my love for tapas while shoving my face with patatas bravas and sangria to show them my love for the culture. I was a little confused when she kept explaining that I wouldn’t be able to drink on the job… last time I checked, the drinking age is eighteen in Spain.”

Help! The Girl Scout In Mac Bit Me.

Student Life WTF February 19, 2023

Last week, Tum was on her way to Mac for her lunch. “I did everything I usually do. I made a beeline straight for the stairs without even peeking at the tables,” Tum recalled. “But as soon as I took two steps inside the lobby–*MUNCH*–there she was, a Girl Scout nibbling at my ankle.”

Friend Whose Dad Works At McKinsey Is “Also Worried” About Postgrad

Big Issues Student Life February 16, 2023

O’Baby, who has been to the Turks and Caicos 14 times and spent a summer interning for former President Barack Obama, denies that her father’s position has afforded her any extra opportunities.

Spring Break Planning Uncovers That No One In The Friend Group Actually Likes Each Other

Campus Culture Student Life February 11, 2023

Through the thin walls of Walsh Hall, sophomores chatter about roommate preferences, expenses, and location possibilities. Though in theory it is an exciting time, it isn’t looking too pretty for the groups we spoke with.

Straight Guy With Piercing Finds Harry Styles’ Grammy Wins “Refreshing”

Student Life February 8, 2023

“I know how hard Harry has worked to get here,” said Gus Liter (MCAS ’26). “The barriers he struggled to overcome and the norms he had to disrupt. It’s so refreshing to see someone that looks like me up on that stage. I love that the Academy is working towards a progressive future, full of people whose stories I can finally relate to.”

Not Again! Scalper Sells Bean Counter Tickets To Unsuspecting Students

Sports Student Life February 6, 2023

Initial reports indicate that an entrepreneurial scalper sold vouchers to Fulton Hall’s Bean Counter disguised as passes to the much-anticipated ice hockey tournament.