Student Life Archives | The New England Classic

Shocking: 23andMe Results Reveal Baldwin the Eagle is 12% Hawk

Sports Student Life September 17, 2019

The test results also showed trace amounts of falcon and beagle. BC students reported feeling “shocked”, “upset”, and “aroused.”

Fucking Idiot In Mailroom Doesn’t Know Shelf Number Hot

Dorm Stuff Student Life September 16, 2019

WALSH HALL — Certified idiot Max Mortimer (CSOM ‘22) arrived at the Walsh mailroom Friday afternoon intending to somehow pick up a package without knowing his shelf number. Bystanders and mailroom employees looked on as Mortimer searched his email for the vital code like a dumbass. “Uh, I have... Read more

“For Boston, For Boston Hummdssaee Freahain” Sings Student Body Hot

Sports Student Life September 11, 2019

ALUMNI STADIUM — Following a Boston College Eagles’ touchdown against the Richmond Spiders last Saturday, hundreds of football fans broke into a celebratory rendition of the school’s fight song. Stephen Montgomery (CSOM ‘23) and his friends from Keyes South proudly sang the first two lines of the song they... Read more

Newly Accepted Club Member Misinterprets Kidnapping For Kinky Sexual Roleplay

Freshmen Student Life September 9, 2019

FENWICK HALL — Boston College a capella group The Bostonians continued their long-standing tradition of “kidnapping” newly accepted members from their dorm rooms last Tuesday night. But the usually lighthearted tradition took an unexpected turn when one new member reportedly misinterpreted the situation as an extreme sexual roleplay, leading... Read more

Couple Breaks Up After White Mountain Server Asks If They’re Paying Together Or Separate Hot

Student Life July 25, 2019

A recent dispute had put the relationship on thin ice, according to Lynn — almost as thin as the ice cream of White Mountain’s competitors.

The New England Classic’s Summer Vacation Travel Guide: Chicago

Featured Lists Student Life July 17, 2019

Chicago. The Twindy Cities. From the Sioux for “Italians need not apply,” Chi-na-town is the perfect spot for a surprise summer getaway. With at least four and a half restaurants and a record-108 years without a single Italian in public office, planning a trip to the city can seem... Read more

“Hey, How Was Your Brake?” Asks Guy Inquiring About Roommate’s Car Inspection

Holidays Student Life April 22, 2019

IGNACIO HALL—Jeff Lube (MCAS ’19) received some interesting information yesterday when he asked his roommate how his brake was after getting his car inspected. “It was pretty good, actually,” responded Gary Michaels-Croswell (CSOM ’19). “Oil needed to be changed and had to get a headlight replaced, but other than... Read more

Perfectly Healthy Freshman Male Sure Is Going Through A Lot Of Tissues

Sex Student Life April 18, 2019

MEDEIROS HALL C39 — On Wednesday, Richard Holder (MCAS ’22) noticed that his roommate Jack Offner (CSOM ’22) had an abundance of used tissues in the wastebasket beside his bed. Despite the large number of tissues, Offner seems completely free of cold or flu symptoms. “Maybe he’s just crying... Read more

Student Causes Concern After Putting Well-being Before Academics

School Student Life April 2, 2019

STAYER HALL — Junior Joanna Yost returned to Boston College last Sunday after a relaxing weekend at home, and found herself in the middle of judgmental and passive-aggressive comments from her peers. They were reportedly “dumbfounded” when she revealed that she had spent her time home unwinding and decompressing... Read more

Underground Cockfighting Ring Now Accepts Eagle Bucks

Student Life WTF March 21, 2019

CARNEY BASEMENT — A clandestine chicken-fighting operation in Carney 003 has become the latest Newton business to accept Eagle Bucks, allowing students to easily bet vending machine money on the vicious bloodsport. Designating university-backed currency as legal tender at illegal animal-fighting rings has been questioned by many at... Read more