Student Life Archives | The New England Classic

7% Tuition Increase Used to Give CSOM Students Special Snacks Hot

Student Life WTF September 22, 2020

“With enough preparation, they should be able eat like grown-ups by the time they make it to the break room at Goldman Sachs.”

Joy Moore Releases New Statement Blaming You, Specifically Hot

Coronavirus Student Life September 21, 2020

“There’s one person at fault here. It’s not me, it’s not the administration, it’s just one person,” she told us, referring to You.

Top Ten Campus Spots To Cover Your Little Head And Submit To The Infinite Sadness

School Student Life September 15, 2020

Wondering where you can just let the waterworks flow at Boston College? Are you a first-year student who has yet to burst into tears in public? Are you a returning Eagle in need of a new sob spot? Does the crushing weight of your inherited, generational misery weigh upon... Read more

University Welcomes “Most Diverse Class Ever” With White Guy From New Jersey

Freshmen Student Life September 10, 2020

“Look, his mumbling is bad enough as it is,” noted Rosalita Clemens (MCAS ‘24). “But on a Zoom call, with all of CLXF trying to blast “Born In The USA” at the same time, the poor dude didn’t have a chance.”

University Confirms Nicotine Patches To Be Sold At Concessions

Campus Culture Coronavirus Student Life July 20, 2020

YAWKEY ATHLETIC CENTER — In a controversial press release, Boston College Athletic Director Patrick Kraft announced on Saturday that the University had approved the sale of nicotine patches in Alumni Stadium and Conte Forum. The specialty patches, reportedly dubbed “EagleBuzz”, will join the 2018 inclusion of beer and wine... Read more

Mom Can’t Believe You Got Kicked From Housing Group, Thought They Were All Very Nice Boys

Coronavirus Student Life March 30, 2020

Kelly went on to describe the situation as “fucked,” a comment which Mrs. Kelly disapproved of as she “did not raise [him] to use that language.”

LTE: Uh, Why Is Molly In My Zoom Class?

Coronavirus Student Life March 27, 2020

Like what you see? Stuck at your parents house? Browse our site for more juicy, immunocompromised content! Read more

Fuck Yeah: Kid In Your APPA Group Brought Her Dab Pen

Service Student Life March 9, 2020

PARKERSBERG, WEST VIRGINIA — Students in APPA group #42 have taken a break from building houses for the impoverished to get REALLY high in the mountains of Appalachia. “Dabs with the bros are what make this experience so worthwhile,” said Eleanor Restucci (CSOM ‘21), referring to her G-Slim 2800... Read more

Appa Group #24 Placed At Schiller Institute

Service Student Life February 28, 2020

To ensure that the group would be able to work on the site, construction of the Schiller Institute has been officially registered as a Habitat for Humanity site, and will likely make use of hundreds of plucky volunteers until its anticipated opening in 2021.

Roommate Thinks She Can Just Come Into The Room Whenever She Wants

Dorm Stuff Student Life February 25, 2020

“Like, this isn’t a fuckin’ corner store,” Purcell said. “You can’t just be walking in here anytime you want, day and night. People live here. I need privacy.”