“I’m a Microcelebrity,” Says Girl Who Broods In Her Room 25/8
RONCASTLE — The Classic received a gracious invitation from Noa Boddy (MCAS ‘26) to tour her exclusive, behind-the-scenes dorm room, hidden from the eyes of just about everyone.
“I’m a microcelebrity, so I have to protect my peace around here!” exclaimed the “Queen of Roncastle,” a self-proclaimed title.
Pressure from her celebrity status seems to plague Boddy. Her “magnetic aura” causes her to constantly reject dinner invites and ignore club meetings, in an attempt to stop drawing so much attention to her famed self.
“It’s so bad. Whenever I get a drink at my local small coffee shop, I ask for the usual, and the workers immediately start gossiping about me. Ugh, the struggles of the spotlight,” said Boddy.
The Classic later confirmed with CoRo Cafe employees that they have “no idea who the fuck she is.”
When asked what she spends most of her time doing, she exasperatedly answered, “My major is as hard as a STEM double major, but it’s much worse. All the pressure makes me avoid lectures, so I just hide in my room. And even when I go, maybe once a month, my professors are ADDICTED to me! It’s always, ‘Where have you been?’ and ‘We need to talk.’ Next they’ll want an autograph!”
Boddy mentioned her appreciation for her fans who “would vouch for [her] stardom.” One fan, Randy O’Mewtual (MCAS ‘25), said Boddy “is literally a Film Studies major” and “took the lecture about main characters way too seriously.”
Boddy’s tour consisted of weak gestures towards her bed and her desk, squeezed tightly into her dimly-lit single. Near the end of it, she made sure to draw special attention to her “chic and minimalista” closet, which only displayed a singular pair of pajama pants hung next to a raggedy sweater.
“It’s an iconic fashion statement,” said Boddy. “I’d probably call this my red-carpet look.”