The New England Classic
“I’m a Microcelebrity,” Says Girl Who Broods In Her Room 25/8

“’I’m a microcelebrity, so I have to protect my peace around here!’ exclaimed the ‘Queen of Roncastle,’ a self-proclaimed title.”

Read more
“She’s Literally Bestie,” Says Girl About Rando In 9-Man With Whom She’ll Never Interact

Leanne does not currently know the name of her eighth roommate, and despite being grateful for the addition, is extremely glad that “wifey” is not her direct.

Read more
Filling Your 8-Man With Hay, And 5 Other Autumnal Mistakes

It’s that time of year again; the leaves are changing, the wind is crisp, and pumpkin patches and apple picking are all the rage. With all the seasonal change going on, the Classic has decided to give you a guide on how to avoid key autumnal mistakes.

Read more
Passive Aggressive Roommate Posts All Her BeReals While Cleaning

Nadia Mohm (Lynch ‘23), fed up with the five other slobs she cohabitates with, has enacted the strategy of exclusively posting pictures of her cleaning up after them around the apartment.

Read more
Freshmen RA’s Now Offer A Goodnight Kiss To Homesick Residents

With the removal of all Covid restrictions on campus, the Residence Hall Association is delighted to announce that Resident Advisors will now offer goodnight kisses to all homesick students.

Read more
Game Of Thrones Spin-Off “House Of Roncastle” Coming To HBO In Spring 2023

House of Roncastle is to be a 10-episode-long tale of the illustrious Roncalli Hall, a safe haven for neglected and worthless sophomores of Boston College.

Read more
Pre-Law Student Accused Of Doctoring Roommate Agreement

“I’m just an easy target because I’m a pre-law student with more ambition than the average person. Even if I did know something, I wouldn’t tell The New England Classic. I’d go to a real paper on campus like [redacted]. Did I mention that I’m double-majoring in political science and economics with a minor in communication?”

Read more
April Fools: You Were Never In The Eight-Man
UPPER CAMPUS – The nightmares of housing for rising sophomores finally came to a close this past week. Some ended up in eight mans, some in quads, and some unlucky ones even ended up in CoRo. However, for one student, the nightmare has only just begun. Lou Zehr (Lynch... Read more
Roommate’s New Year’s Resolution Seems To Be “Fart More”

“I think these under-thunders are a pretty passive-aggressive way of him asking for more alone time. This man is halfway to a charcuterie plate with all the cheese he’s been cutting. It’s unbelievable.”

Read more
Bert and Ernie Down the Hall Look Suspiciously Like Puppets

“Whenever I dap either of them up, they can never really get the hang of it. It’s like someone else is controlling their limbs.” Commented Oscar de Grouch (MCAS ’25) “Their hands are pretty small too, I thought it was just because they’re kinda short kings, but now I think otherwise.”

Read more