The New England Classic
Wicked Pissah: Roommate Has Strong Stream
WALSH HALL — Students were disrupted late Sunday night by what reportedly sounded like a firehose from the bathroom of Suite 304. Reports indicate that this was no ordinary tinkle, but instead was categorized by Boston-based experts as a “Wicked Pissah.” The Classic obtained access to reports from the... Read more
16 Signs There’s A Furry Sleeping Next To You

“In front of Gasson, they give what sounds like a deep, guttural bark back at Molly. Actually, it was probably towards her owner. You forgive it immediately.”

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MUN Roommate Needs You To Be Quiet So That They Can Launch A Missile

“I was the one who got to announce that the projectiles had entered foreign airspace, so I really just needed the dorm quiet for a hot minute.”

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Ten Dorm Decorations That Are Absolutely Red Flags
Whether you’re going over to someone’s dorm to seal the deal, work with a classmate on a group project, or you’re an RA who’s about to inform residents that they’ve been suspended by the University — nothing says more about the person living in a room than how they... Read more
Girl Barefoot In Bathroom Definitely Has Kinky Sex

“She talks about ‘impact play’ a lot but I just assumed it was some kind of workout, like HIIT or something.”

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Roommate’s Boyfriend Discovers Dishwasher

“‘Can I put this in here?’ he asked me, and crammed it into the cup section before I could ask him to rinse it out first. But still, baby steps! We’re so proud of the little guy” she laughed.

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Spooky: A Ghost Stole My Red Tab!

“The only spirit I know is Holy, and He would never commit such a heinous act.”

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Rats in Walsh Lose Housing For Being in 8-Man Without Mask

“According to the report, all eight indicted inhabitants of the room were inside, along with ten other guests. Everybody present was described as being a ‘small-to-medium sized rodent with brown fur.’ No member of either party was a BC student, nor were they properly equipped with masks.”

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Entire Dorm Chants “Kairos”, Public School Freshman Scared And Confused
UPPER CAMPUS — Last Saturday night, hundreds of desperate freshmen swarmed Upper Campus in an attempt to meet fellow first-years. Once there, however, reports state that a “large, rabid circle” formed on the basketball court and began chanting in unison while a freshman in the middle rolled back and... Read more
University Suspends Three Persons of God for Violating Guest Policy

“After we stuffed the Holy Spirit behind the shower curtain, I tried to explain that we’re Three Persons, One God, so we should be exempt…  they couldn’t seem to grasp the concept. BC is really going to regret doing this. Do they know who my Father is?”

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