Dorm Stuff Archives | The New England Classic

Splitting the G? You Mean Splitting My G-Friendships in Housing Week?

Dorm Stuff Freshmen ResLife March 17, 2025

Molly Malone (MCAS ’28) believed her seven “literal besties” planned to split into blocked quads when they didn’t get an 8-man pick time. When she learned they skipped quad day to try for a 6-man, things got messier than freshmen at Circle.

Reslife Builds Houseboats On Res To Combat Lack Of Housing

Abroad Dorm Stuff ResLife March 13, 2025

The Fleet’s application demographic has skewed prominently female, with a high concentration of Philosophy, Art History, and Political Science majors. “I mean me and all the girls studied abroad in Amsterdam last spring, and it was truly life changing,” said Didi Telyaistudydabrawd (MCAS ‘25).

Polyamorous Student Is Thrilled You Are Looking For An 8th

Dorm Stuff Sex WTF February 19, 2025

UPSIDE DOWN PINEAPPLE — Freshmen, yearning for a common room and non-communal bathroom, are looking for their perfect eight-man. Across campus and Fizz, these students are desperately searching for the final piece to their puzzle. However, at a roommate meet and greet last night, Polly A. Morris (MCAS ‘28)... Read more

Overzealous RA Confiscates Resident’s Alcohol Functional Group

Dorm Stuff Drinking ResLife October 8, 2024

“Hugh is brazen and obviously wreckless,” said Ranie. “He didn’t even care enough to try and hide the alcohol.”

RD Strip Poker: What Your RA Really Does With Your “Paraphernalia” Folding Table

Dorm Stuff ResLife September 30, 2024

RAs gather from across campus, arriving at Bapst 15 minutes before close and leaving in only gray Freshman ResHall shirts—courtesy of Strzepoker after the RAs had lost their clothes, dignity, and dining dollars.

Newton Woods Treehouse and 9 Other Creative Housing Options Suggested By ResLife

Dorm Stuff Lists ResLife March 14, 2024

Rather than fix the broken housing process or invest in any quality housing options, Reslife has instead supplied the Classic with a list of suggested alternatives to traditional housing.

“I’m a Microcelebrity,” Says Girl Who Broods In Her Room 25/8

Dorm Stuff Student Life November 9, 2023

“’I’m a microcelebrity, so I have to protect my peace around here!’ exclaimed the ‘Queen of Roncastle,’ a self-proclaimed title.”

“She’s Literally Bestie,” Says Girl About Rando In 9-Man With Whom She’ll Never Interact

Dorm Stuff ResLife April 3, 2023

Leanne does not currently know the name of her eighth roommate, and despite being grateful for the addition, is extremely glad that “wifey” is not her direct.

Filling Your 8-Man With Hay, And 5 Other Autumnal Mistakes

Dorm Stuff November 2, 2022

It’s that time of year again; the leaves are changing, the wind is crisp, and pumpkin patches and apple picking are all the rage. With all the seasonal change going on, the Classic has decided to give you a guide on how to avoid key autumnal mistakes.

Passive Aggressive Roommate Posts All Her BeReals While Cleaning

Dorm Stuff ResLife Student Life October 20, 2022

Nadia Mohm (Lynch ‘23), fed up with the five other slobs she cohabitates with, has enacted the strategy of exclusively posting pictures of her cleaning up after them around the apartment.