Filling Your 8-Man With Hay, And 5 Other Autumnal Mistakes
Dorm Stuff November 2, 2022 The New England Classic
LARGE LEAF PILE — It’s that time of year again; the leaves are changing, the wind is crisp, and pumpkin patches and apple picking are all the rage. With all the seasonal change going on, the Classic has decided to give you a guide on how to avoid key autumnal mistakes.
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- Filling your 8-Man with Hay: So you want to throw a fall themed party? What better way to get in theme than filling your entire 8-Man with hay?! WRONG! Fatal mistake. Hay is messy and there are often needles hidden inside of it. Save yourself from skewering your foot and from dealing with the horses who will come to graze in your room by avoiding this common mistake.
- Investing heavily into gourds: From the month of December to mid September no one could care less about gourds. I doubt you even thought about gourds ONCE during that time. But when the autumnal equinox arrives, it’s as if the sun becomes a pumpkin and a squash died for our sins. Before you know it, you’re buying one too many gourds and setting yourself up for a painful meeting with the pumpkin patch debt collector. Save your knee caps by avoiding this mistake.
- Walking through piles of leaves: Have you ever watched a cartoon? I bet the answer is no if you’re walking through piles of leaves. This is what evil cartoon characters do to make you fall in holes. DO NOT fall for this.
- The ‘Calico Cat Conundrum’: This one needs no explanation.
- Remembering we have a football team: Fall and football are synonymous and so are Boston College football and losing. Pretend you are tailgating just for fun and then go home. Halloween is over and all the death and gore should go with it, so avert your eyes from the horror show.
- Corn Mazes: You go to a corn maze because you’re a thrill seeker and you love the adrenaline rush of near death experiences. This means you are also a fool. Corn mazes are deliberate death traps, not a thrilling adrenaline inducing adventure. Instead, opt for the gourd exhibition or apple cider stand.
