SAP Releases Fake “Community Map,” Claims Newton Campus Is Part Of The BC Community
DEVLIN HALL — The Student Admissions Program (SAP) came under fire Tuesday afternoon after a controversial press release stating Newton Campus is actually within the bounds of Main Campus.
The release added that students on Newton could be assured that they would have an authentic experience of Chestnut Hill during their first year at Boston College.
“No idea how that got there,” said SAP Director Chris Maples when asked why there was a forged, sharpie-drawn boundary extending around Newton Campus on campus maps given to prospective students. “But I’m glad to see the Holy Spirit working its divine inclusivity over the entire Boston College community.”
Several Resident Assistants on Newton were quick to respond to Maples’ statement.
“Newton Campus will NOT see any impacts of solidarity with students living on Main Campus,” tweeted Duchesne West 3 RA Matt Owens (MCAS ‘22).
Owens also reported that one of his residents had to ask to confirm whether Upper Campus even existed.
“I have zero interest in politics,” said Hardey 1 RA Lindsay Quietude (MCAS ’21), “but telling Newton residents that they’ll have the same experiences as students living on Upper is simply a lie. I mean, eating baked beans on the O’Connell House roof listening to ABBA was the highlight of my freshman year. Try doing that on Barat House!”
At press time, SAP staff were seen scrambling to extend the doctored circles further to include Greycliff Hall, Brighton Campus, and even some parts of Boston University.