The New England Classic
Wicked Pissah: Roommate Has Strong Stream

Wicked Pissah: Roommate Has Strong Stream

Campus CultureDorm StuffWTF April 13, 2021 The New England Classic

WALSH HALL — Students were disrupted late Sunday night by what reportedly sounded like a firehose from the bathroom of Suite 304. Reports indicate... Wicked Pissah: Roommate Has Strong Stream

WALSH HALL — Students were disrupted late Sunday night by what reportedly sounded like a firehose from the bathroom of Suite 304. Reports indicate that this was no ordinary tinkle, but instead was categorized by Boston-based experts as a “Wicked Pissah.”

The Classic obtained access to reports from the floor’s RA, who was woken up by the immense noise of her resident Reys Hors’s (MCAS ‘23) urination and wrote up the incident.

“Residential Assistant Amy Connolly observed sustained pitter-patter caused by the unrelenting stream of liquid excrement,” the report read. “A few moments later, Connolly heard a loud thud, which Hors’s roommates attributed to his body hitting the wall opposite the toilet as a result of the liquid stream’s momentum.”

Professor Mahendra Patel, who teaches undergraduate courses on volcanism, said that this is the first “Wicked Pissah” in the Boston area in several decades.

“Massachusetts has had its share of earthquakes,” said Patel. “But a Wicked Pissah…that’s something that even scientists living in Boston for years haven’t witnessed.”

Students taking The Living Earth have received a new assignment for an out-of-classroom experience in which they are asked to visit the Walsh room where the incident occurred and to write a one-page reflection on the geological implications of the “Pissah.”

At piss press time, students studying on the first floor of O’Neill reported that Hors’s pissing registered massive waveforms on the famed O’Neill Seismograph.