16 Signs There’s A Furry Sleeping Next To You
On their birthday, they tell you they’re turning 133 in dog years. You fake laugh—they’re just drunk.
While shopping on Newbury Street, they insist on dropping by Party City. Wasn’t Halloween five months ago?
They swear they can sniff out the virus in the plex. You’re a little lost, but fair enough.
You ask them if they qualify to get vaccinated early; they have to check with their veterinarian first. No, they said their doctor. Yeah, no, for sure.
You think you saw them crawling on all fours outside of The Rat, their favorite study spot on campus. That could have been anyone though, wearing the sweatshirt you lent them.
One morning, they start coughing hysterically in the O’Neill fourth-floor bathroom. You’re relieved they didn’t puke, until you realize there’s a clump of hairballs in the sink. Are they okay?
After you accidentally walk in on them in the shower, they hiss at you. Of course, like, who wouldn’t be caught off-guard?
Were they also whimpering in their sleep last night? They did say they failed their Theatre final—that’s probably it.
In front of Gasson, they give what sounds like a deep, guttural bark back at Molly. Actually, it was probably towards her owner. You forgive it immediately.
They have a huge crush on Baldwin—only slightly more than what’s socially acceptable.
They literally piss around your room to mark their territory. You slowly start to feel the need to assert your dominance the same way, too.
They text you, “uwu, meow’s it going?? miss u :3!” To try to further ease the tension, you play along, “having a pretty pawsome day, rawr XD!! wbu?”
They drink out of the Reservoir halfway through their run. When a BCPD officer tries to pull them away, your roommate bites him and bolts. Hey, that’s actually pretty alpha of them—pun unintended.
They know what the fox says.
You sign their change.org petition to make GetMobile accept orders for dog food. They’re the only other signature so far, so what? It’s for a… cause.
On move-out day, they give you a friendship bracelet that strangely resembles a collar. Hey, when in Brighton, right? You put it on… you kind of like it—no, you love it. You’ve never felt so in touch with your primal instinct, your inner wolf, before. Wait, does that mean… FUCK. You might be a furry, too.