The New England Classic
WTF
Receipt Reveals That Student Actually Did Order A Side Of Bug
MCELROY COMMONS — Public scrutiny of Boston College Dining Services (BCDS) is higher than ever after student Damie J’Ambra (MCAS ’25) found a giant black bug in their meal. After a photo of the bug was published and quickly became viral on Monday, many students were questioning what BCDS... Read more
Tuition Increases By $0.008 To Pay For Leahy’s Blue Checkmark On Twitter

BC students were shocked to receive an email on Wednesday from the Office of Student Services announcing an increase of $0.008 to their tuition, effective immediately.

Read more
Daylight Savings Opens A Daylight Checkings Account

Each November, Daylight Savings ends, and with it comes any of its remaining balance. Thankfully, the Classic recently scheduled an appointment for Daylight to meet with TD Bank representative Ben Kerr to better handle its finances.

Read more
Light Coming From Alumni Stadium At Night Actually Just Football Players Playing Flashlight Tag

However, Dropper quickly noticed that some players were holding flashlights and realized that something completely different was going on. They were giggling and chasing each other around in a rollicking game of flashlight tag. Dropper told the Classic, “I knew some of the players frequently used flashlights, but I didn’t think they were ever to be seen or sanitary enough to be touched by other people.”

Read more
Stop The Count: BC Republicans Protest Finite Probability Midterm

The Classic obtained a tweet from student Don Ald (CSOM ’26) that said: “There is NO WAY (ZERO!) that this midterm is anything but substantially fraudulent. Serious grading fraud at Boston College – so why isn’t The Heights reporting on this? Serious bias – big problem!”

Read more
BC Football Gets Routed By Clemson, Blames Goblin Halftime Show
ALUMNI STADIUM — On Saturday night, Boston College’s Eagles took the field against the Clemson Tigers hoping to upset the 5th-ranked team in the nation. While the first half of the game featured strong defensive efforts from both sides, the Eagles seemed to give up once the third quarter... Read more
Athletes Exchange Scooters For Motorized Barbie Jeeps

“This bad boy also has a sick audio system that can play 6 songs, a trunk to hold my empty backpack, and does NOT have seatbelts, so my adrenaline junkie self is really enjoying the rush it gives.”

Read more
Student Gets Sexiled By His Parents

Notale continued, “There is nothing quite as embarrassing as your parents having sex in your dorm bed before you even have. The only thing possibly more embarrassing is having to sit in the hallway with your roommate AND his parents, waiting for them to finish their rekindling. By the length of the wait, I think they went two or three times or they were talking, but I really cannot imagine them talking for that long without a fight.”

Read more
Roommate Weirdly Insistent You Don’t Fuck His Mom

Eddie Pess (CSOM ’25) reached out to the Classic to talk about his anxieties and to broadcast his plea to the rest of the student body: “Oh gosh, guys. I sure hope nobody fucks my mom.”

Read more
ICYMI: Kyle Leads 3-Hour Game Of ISpy

Kyle began, binoculars in hand: “I spy with my little eye… something green!” obviously referring to the t-shirt of someone in the 3rd row.

Read more