The New England Classic
LTE From The Moon Club President

Everyone won’t shut up about summer and tanning and blah blah blah. Who fucking cares! Get some sun on the quad on a different day, I just want to get high in the afternoon and watch that shit cover the sun. Stay pale, I literally dare you. 

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LTE: I’m T-pain, You Know Me–T-Pain Wrote This Article

I’m T-Pain, you know me! What’s your name? Let me talk to ‘em! 

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Chocolate Bar Introduces Screens To Entertain Impatient iPad Kids

At press time, drooling students were seen gathering in a concert-sized crowd as the lead student completed an extremely difficult level of Geometry Dash — with a hydraulic press video in the background.

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Baby Bird Alert! BC Swim And Dive Severely Misinterprets What It Means To Be An Eagle

“The team comes first! If you really think about it, there’s no ‘I’ in TEAM, but there is in VOMIT.”

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“Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”: How One Confused CSOM Student Thought He Took A Foreign Language Class

It wasn’t until further into the class that he heard the word “equity” and felt safe once again as he believed he was back in the magical land of finance. 

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Mudstock Mud Replaced With Broken Glass

“In previous years, we’ve gone for a 50% mud, 50% glass approach”, said CAB Treasurer Lemmy C. Themdogs (MCAS ’23). “It helped to cut costs, but clearly it didn’t help to cut feet. At least not enough for our standards.”

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BC Corrects Typo, Announces That Commencement Speaker Is Actually Ambassador To “The Crane”

“The Crane. Is. The. Moment. Have you fucking seen it?” administrator Crain Luver said. “It’s massive. Always doing stuff for the BC community. AND it has an ambassador- that’s epic. We honestly couldn’t have picked a better speaker.”

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Your Friend Who Puts Herself In Dangerous Situations With Strange Men Is “Totally A Samantha”
CORCORAN COMMONS — Sex icons. When those words are heard, Samantha Jones, the backbone of hit show Sex and The City, often comes to mind. However, one unsuspecting student, Ah Loof (CSOM ‘24) made the mistake of sharing her relationship troubles with her friend who is a Classic writer.... Read more
Help! The Girl Scout In Mac Bit Me.

Last week, Tum was on her way to Mac for her lunch. “I did everything I usually do. I made a beeline straight for the stairs without even peeking at the tables,” Tum recalled. “But as soon as I took two steps inside the lobby–*MUNCH*–there she was, a Girl Scout nibbling at my ankle.”

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Receipt Reveals That Student Actually Did Order A Side Of Bug
MCELROY COMMONS — Public scrutiny of Boston College Dining Services (BCDS) is higher than ever after student Damie J’Ambra (MCAS ’25) found a giant black bug in their meal. After a photo of the bug was published and quickly became viral on Monday, many students were questioning what BCDS... Read more