The New England Classic
What To Do When Your French Roommate Jean-Pierre Labeouf Won’t Stop Putting Cigarette Ash In Your House Plants Even Though You Specifically Asked Him Not To

Ugh, Jean-Pierre. Even saying his name makes you wince, like you just took a bite of a really shitty lemon. A lemon called Labeouf.

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This Article Is Just 11 GIFs Of Kevin Spilling The Chili, And We Know You Sheeple Will Still Love It
Why even bother writing a lede? Why bother putting effort into our content? Why bother doing anything at all when nothing matters except Kevin from The Office (U.S.) spilling the chili? Feast your simple brains on this. 1. Kevin spilling the chili   2. Kevin spilling the chili ... Read more


SchoolWTF April 17, 2019

FULTON HALL — A report been done has say that CSOM bad. This report done by CSOM (bad) and confirmding this is the school’s spokesguy who speaks at school and says, “CSOM bad.” Students in and teachers at Boston’s College are agree with CSOM bad. MCAS guy Steven Stevens,... Read more
We Got Really Drunk And Ranked All 26 Letters Of The Alphabet
We’re tired of people not taking us seriously as a legitimate source of news and journalism here at BC. So fine, you want real reporting, you’ll get real reporting. Here’s a ranking of every letter in the alphabet from worst to best. 26) W – The clear choice for... Read more
Ben Shapiro Purchases O’Neill And Bapst, Now Owns The Libs
O’NEILL LIBRARY — Conservative author and commentator Ben Shapiro announced last Friday that he has finalized the purchase of both Bapst Library and O’Neill Library, in an effort to “truly own the libs, once and for all.” Boston College officially verified the acquisition in an email to students and... Read more
BC Cancels Campus Subscription to WSJ, Replaces With W, S.J.
ST. MARY’S HALL — Boston College Libraries, under the direction of administrators, quietly cancelled campus subscriptions to the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) last week, replacing them with subscriptions to a new Jesuit periodical, W, S.J. The cancellation, which was announced via Post-it Note on the O’Neill Answer Wall on... Read more
Run For Your Life: The Heightsmen Are Singing 50s Doo-Wop Again
Can you hear the rumble? The rumble from beyond the hill? The slow, growing rumble of the Heightsmen, bumbling, tumbling and stumbling into town? Be still, for they can smell your fear… Boston College’s ONLY all-male a capella group is singing 50’s Doo-Wop on campus once again. It all... Read more
Underground Cockfighting Ring Now Accepts Eagle Bucks
CARNEY BASEMENT — A clandestine chicken-fighting operation in Carney 003 has become the latest Newton business to accept Eagle Bucks, allowing students to easily bet vending machine money on the vicious bloodsport.    Designating university-backed currency as legal tender at illegal animal-fighting rings has been questioned by many at... Read more
Embarrassed Psych Major Didn’t Do Palm Reading For Today

“Franklin declined to give The Classic any comment. Efforts to reach out to her third eye were unsuccessful as well.”

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Best Birthday Present Ever? Agora Is Making You Change Your Password!
Holy shit, it’s your birthday! You’re another year older, and BC knows the most thrilling way for you to celebrate. A nice dinner with your friends and family? Humbug! A card from grandma? Phooey! These gifts are nothing compared to the gift Agora is giving you this year –... Read more