The New England Classic
WTF
Baby Bird Alert! BC Swim And Dive Severely Misinterprets What It Means To Be An Eagle

“The team comes first! If you really think about it, there’s no ‘I’ in TEAM, but there is in VOMIT.”

Read more
“Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”: How One Confused CSOM Student Thought He Took A Foreign Language Class

It wasn’t until further into the class that he heard the word “equity” and felt safe once again as he believed he was back in the magical land of finance. 

Read more
Mudstock Mud Replaced With Broken Glass

“In previous years, we’ve gone for a 50% mud, 50% glass approach”, said CAB Treasurer Lemmy C. Themdogs (MCAS ’23). “It helped to cut costs, but clearly it didn’t help to cut feet. At least not enough for our standards.”

Read more
BC Corrects Typo, Announces That Commencement Speaker Is Actually Ambassador To “The Crane”

“The Crane. Is. The. Moment. Have you fucking seen it?” administrator Crain Luver said. “It’s massive. Always doing stuff for the BC community. AND it has an ambassador- that’s epic. We honestly couldn’t have picked a better speaker.”

Read more
Your Friend Who Puts Herself In Dangerous Situations With Strange Men Is “Totally A Samantha”
CORCORAN COMMONS — Sex icons. When those words are heard, Samantha Jones, the backbone of hit show Sex and The City, often comes to mind. However, one unsuspecting student, Ah Loof (CSOM ‘24) made the mistake of sharing her relationship troubles with her friend who is a Classic writer.... Read more
Help! The Girl Scout In Mac Bit Me.

Last week, Tum was on her way to Mac for her lunch. “I did everything I usually do. I made a beeline straight for the stairs without even peeking at the tables,” Tum recalled. “But as soon as I took two steps inside the lobby–*MUNCH*–there she was, a Girl Scout nibbling at my ankle.”

Read more
Receipt Reveals That Student Actually Did Order A Side Of Bug
MCELROY COMMONS — Public scrutiny of Boston College Dining Services (BCDS) is higher than ever after student Damie J’Ambra (MCAS ’25) found a giant black bug in their meal. After a photo of the bug was published and quickly became viral on Monday, many students were questioning what BCDS... Read more
Tuition Increases By $0.008 To Pay For Leahy’s Blue Checkmark On Twitter

BC students were shocked to receive an email on Wednesday from the Office of Student Services announcing an increase of $0.008 to their tuition, effective immediately.

Read more
Daylight Savings Opens A Daylight Checkings Account

Each November, Daylight Savings ends, and with it comes any of its remaining balance. Thankfully, the Classic recently scheduled an appointment for Daylight to meet with TD Bank representative Ben Kerr to better handle its finances.

Read more
Light Coming From Alumni Stadium At Night Actually Just Football Players Playing Flashlight Tag

However, Dropper quickly noticed that some players were holding flashlights and realized that something completely different was going on. They were giggling and chasing each other around in a rollicking game of flashlight tag. Dropper told the Classic, “I knew some of the players frequently used flashlights, but I didn’t think they were ever to be seen or sanitary enough to be touched by other people.”

Read more