The New England Classic
O’Neill Answer Wall Diagnosed With Alzheimer’s

O’Neill Answer Wall Diagnosed With Alzheimer’s

Campus CultureSchoolWTF February 24, 2020 The New England Classic

ST. ELIZABETH’S HOSPITAL — Following months of intensive consultations, representatives of the Thomas P. O’Neill estate announced on Monday that the famed O’Neill Library... O’Neill Answer Wall Diagnosed With Alzheimer’s

ST. ELIZABETH’S HOSPITAL — Following months of intensive consultations, representatives of the Thomas P. O’Neill estate announced on Monday that the famed O’Neill Library Answer Wall, which has been candidly answering anonymous questions since 2017, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.

“We were deeply saddened when we received the news,” explained Senior Librarian Prinn T. Cue. “While we knew this was a possibility, its impact will certainly be devastating for the Boston College community.”

Warning signs first showed in late 2019, as The Wall’s answers grew increasingly foggy, and it often seemed unaware that it was even in a library.

“Yeah, there were definitely a few rough moments before we got the diagnosis,” said Jon Swift, the wall’s primary assistant. “In December, some kid asked about donating to a toy drive, and The Wall came back with some pretty nasty stories about ‘Nam in ‘67. Hell, a month ago we got a question about crafting a thesis statement, and The Wall thought the student was Tip O’Neill in the flesh.” 

While The Wall’s operations have not been officially shut down, library representatives noted that students shouldn’t expect every question to be answered immediately, and that they may want to consider wearing name tags when approaching The Wall for questioning. 

At press time, The Wall’s answer duties were being taken over by anonymous library staffers, a brand-new practice the library says may become standard.