The New England Classic
Lululemon Girl After Learning About Pontius Pilate: “OMG He Created Pilates?”

Lege’s comment sent concerned looks around the classroom, reminding everyone that even the most fashion-conscious among us can sometimes be the least history-savvy.

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Uh Oh! This Born And Raised New Yorker Is About To Tell The Class What They Think Of The South…

‘Once I graduate, I have full intention of moving to the true mixing pot of America: Brooklyn, NY. I’ve never been anywhere near the Mason-Dixon Line, and I have no intention of coming close to it, or the poverty line while I’m at it.’

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“Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”: How One Confused CSOM Student Thought He Took A Foreign Language Class

It wasn’t until further into the class that he heard the word “equity” and felt safe once again as he believed he was back in the magical land of finance. 

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Student Awakes From Late-Afternoon Nap, Immediately Prepares for Early-Evening Nap

“A nap helps me stay motivated,” said Restful, already fluffing her pillow. “It gets me ready to get down to business and pump out some assignments.” Opening her laptop, Restful proceeded to spend a half-hour on Instagram before closing her laptop again. “I definitely couldn’t do without it.”

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Stop The Count: BC Republicans Protest Finite Probability Midterm

The Classic obtained a tweet from student Don Ald (CSOM ’26) that said: “There is NO WAY (ZERO!) that this midterm is anything but substantially fraudulent. Serious grading fraud at Boston College – so why isn’t The Heights reporting on this? Serious bias – big problem!”

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“I’m Like Robin Williams In That One Movie,” Says Entirely Blue Professor

“I was fully prepared to hear ‘carpe diem’ on the first day,” Lostsole said. “I kept waiting for him to stand on the desk, but all he did was, lecture?”

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Can He Do That? Girlfriend Laments Losing Boyfriend to Add/Drop

Today marks the last day of the Add/Drop period at BC, meaning it’s the last chance for students to enroll in a new course or leave a course that they didn’t quite love.For one senior boy, it meant dropping a girl he didn’t quite love.

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Congratulations Class Of 2026! If We Make It That Far…

If we manage to escape the Western descent into fascism, the constant threat of nuclear war, the ever increasing threat of climate change, gerrymandering, Exxon Mobil, NFTs, shrimp in Cinnamon Toast Crunch, global pandemics, Don’t Look Up, Late Night in Lyons, and “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, you are going to do great things in your four (or less) years here.

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New Conte Forum Renovation To Include Extensive Area For ‘Well There’s Always Next Year’ Trophies

The real appeal of this new complex comes in the form of a 30 million dollar, four-story, indoor-outdoor, climate controlled trophy section. This new ‘Trophy World’ area will house BC’s countless participation ribbons, “At Least We Tried” banners, “There Are No Losers In God’s Eyes” medals, and of course “Well There’s Always Next Year” Trophies.

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See-Through Schiller: Voyeurs and Exhibitionists Rejoice!
Integrated Sciences Building — Peepers, snoopers, busybodies, and nosy nellies alike were elated by the opening of the brand spanking new Schiller Institute. The majority of classrooms of Schiller, which house engineering courses, high-tech laboratories, and uncomfortable rolling desks, have at least one clear wall. As the nerds filed... Read more