The New England Classic
“I’m Like Robin Williams In That One Movie,” Says Entirely Blue Professor

“I was fully prepared to hear ‘carpe diem’ on the first day,” Lostsole said. “I kept waiting for him to stand on the desk, but all he did was, lecture?”

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Can He Do That? Girlfriend Laments Losing Boyfriend to Add/Drop

Today marks the last day of the Add/Drop period at BC, meaning it’s the last chance for students to enroll in a new course or leave a course that they didn’t quite love.For one senior boy, it meant dropping a girl he didn’t quite love.

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Congratulations Class Of 2026! If We Make It That Far…

If we manage to escape the Western descent into fascism, the constant threat of nuclear war, the ever increasing threat of climate change, gerrymandering, Exxon Mobil, NFTs, shrimp in Cinnamon Toast Crunch, global pandemics, Don’t Look Up, Late Night in Lyons, and “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, you are going to do great things in your four (or less) years here.

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New Conte Forum Renovation To Include Extensive Area For ‘Well There’s Always Next Year’ Trophies

The real appeal of this new complex comes in the form of a 30 million dollar, four-story, indoor-outdoor, climate controlled trophy section. This new ‘Trophy World’ area will house BC’s countless participation ribbons, “At Least We Tried” banners, “There Are No Losers In God’s Eyes” medals, and of course “Well There’s Always Next Year” Trophies.

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See-Through Schiller: Voyeurs and Exhibitionists Rejoice!
Integrated Sciences Building — Peepers, snoopers, busybodies, and nosy nellies alike were elated by the opening of the brand spanking new Schiller Institute. The majority of classrooms of Schiller, which house engineering courses, high-tech laboratories, and uncomfortable rolling desks, have at least one clear wall. As the nerds filed... Read more
Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th
CHESTNUT HILL ​​— Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more
Brad From CSOM: A Day In The Life

“I go ham on establishing my 500+ connections on LinkedIn—the primary determinant of my self-worth. It’s also my second-choice dating app, surpassed only by Christian Mingle.”

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SPOOKY: Turtleneck Hides Vampire Bite

The outbreak began a few weeks ago with the beginning of the new lunar cycle, according to supernatural scholars. “We are very concerned by these latest developments,” said Fr. Donald Callahan. “While the number of infected students is still relatively low, that is more of a sign of the lack of virgins on campus, which is equally troubling.”

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Run! Philosophy Student Wants To Tell You What He’s Learned
STOKES NORTH — Freshman Franny Bacon (MCAS ’25) was found virtuously engaging in Socratic discourse with literally anyone who passed him yesterday afternoon. After a few weeks in Perspectives I, Bacon reports feeling “enlightened” and possessing a newfound sense of “metaphysical contemplation.” “It’s hard to believe that I’ve never... Read more
Class of 1952 Retakes Superfan Photo, Guy Had His Eyes Closed
ALUMNI STADIUM — Old timers gathered and reminisced Sunday when the Boston College Class of 1952 assembled to retake their Superfan photo after realizing that Jerry “Skippy-Do” McGinty had his eyes closed in the first one. When the do-over was snapped, Ol’ Skippy-Do himself was front and center, eyes... Read more