Mudstock Mud Replaced With Broken Glass
Campus CultureWTF May 4, 2023 The New England Classic
MOD LOT — Following a concerning report that roughly 20% of all participants split a toe open during Mudstock last year, CAB has taken precautionary measures for this year’s tournament.
This year, the traditionally mud-filled arena will instead be populated with a unique assortment of glass shards to ensure that no foot goes unscathed.
“In previous years, we’ve gone for a 50% mud, 50% glass approach”, said CAB Treasurer Lemmy C. Themdogs (MCAS ’23). “It helped to cut costs, but clearly it didn’t help to cut feet. At least not enough for our standards.”
CAB decided to pull the trigger on this change in order to cultivate a more team-oriented environment at the event.
“Being denied help from the on-site medic and sharing an ice-cold hose with 24 other people to wash the blood off of your feet is an essential part of the Mudstock experience”, said Events Supervisor Olive Pheet (MCAS ’23). “We want to make sure that that experience is available to every participant.”
“We are hoping to see at least 80% growth in foot-cutting numbers this year,” added Themdogs. “We also have future plans to construct the volleyballs out of thumbtacks so players’ hands can be as bloody as their feet.”
Obviously, these innovative changes come with some safety concerns. Luckily, CAB thought ahead and will generously provide every Mudstock team with unsanded wooden clogs and one (1) waterproof Band-Aid!
