Chocolate Bar Introduces Screens To Entertain Impatient iPad Kids
THE CHOCOLATE BAR — What do BC students and iPad kids have in common? Sticky, greedy little hands waiting for a sweet treat. To entertain impatient students waiting for a caffeine fix, BC has resolved to install large screens for them to gawk at.
Besides taking student orders, the screens are equipped with loads of luxury games; among them include Candy Crush, Subway Surfers, and Fruit Ninja. Students truly love multitasking, fiddling with the screen while watching a YouTube video of their choice. Emma Churr (LSEHD ‘24) said “My personal fav is mukbang videos with Fruit Ninja. I’ve never been more entertained. This is the best possible place that BC could put their funds.”
Chocolate Bar workers have admitted that the screens increase productivity and profit. For example, they reduce painful social interaction and eliminate the need to rehearse one’s order before screwing it up anyway. One barista, Oliver Priced (CSOM ‘27) confessed that the “games distract students from spending $10 just to get oat milk and vanilla.” What a steal!
Despite their popularity for worker convenience and big-screen entertainment, the large iPads face criticism.
“They keep making me clean the screens with heavy-duty bleach,” said barista Hugh Manmop (CSON ‘26). “Their grimy little fingerprints are smothered and there’s snot stuck on them, and I’m also just sick of seeing the Among Us gameplays.”
“I can’t even get to my next class when I haven’t finished scrolling through my ten-part movie scene,” said repeat customer Dee Stracted (MCAS ‘26). “I didn’t even realize those screens were for coffee. But I’ve spent literal hours fixated on them.”
At press time, drooling students were seen gathering in a concert-sized crowd as the lead student completed an extremely difficult level of Geometry Dash — with a hydraulic press video in the background.