Eaters Rejoice As Women’s Center Now Offers “Cookie Mondays”
Campus CultureWTF September 21, 2026 The New England Classic
MALONEY HALL — Eaters unite! Tie up your Docs, throw on your jorts, and untangle your wired headphones because the Boston College Women’s Center has finally answered your desperate fizz post prayers with their newest event, Cookie Monday!
For baby lesbians, self-proclaimed “eaters,” and girls who came to college hoping to “explore,” the announcement was well received. It is common knowledge that BC is getting gayer by the grade, and the Women’s Center is doing its part to meet growing demand.
Every Monday, the girls gather to munch cookies straight from the box, all while washing them down with the event’s signature accompaniments: oat milk and cranberry juice. Organizers insist the event is exactly what it sounds like: women coming together to eat cookies.
However, when word got around that men might be attending, the mood shifted. After all, nothing kills the vibe faster than a man asking if he can watch.
“We were supposed to be falling in love in October,” said Kostka resident Hei Maemas (MCAS ’30). Maemas pontificated, “Why do we always have to fight men in sweaters with mustaches? Can’t we save that shit for the 3rd of December?”
Sources say the girls immediately began preparing for battle. Thrift flips were completed. Straps were…well…strapped on. Carabiners were clipped. Chunky rings were slipped onto fingers. However, in a shocking twist, not a single man answered the call to eat the cookies.
While BC men have decided they can talk the talk, it seems that actually showing up to cookie-eating events and potentially discovering that a woman could out-eat them is a risk that their egos simply cannot take.
At press time, Maemae was seen with a snickerdoodle in one hand, and a gingerbread in the other, hollering “MORE FOR ME!”
