ResLife Archives | The New England Classic

Passive Aggressive Roommate Posts All Her BeReals While Cleaning

Dorm Stuff ResLife Student Life October 20, 2022

Nadia Mohm (Lynch ‘23), fed up with the five other slobs she cohabitates with, has enacted the strategy of exclusively posting pictures of her cleaning up after them around the apartment.

Freshmen RA’s Now Offer A Goodnight Kiss To Homesick Residents

Dorm Stuff Freshmen ResLife October 19, 2022

With the removal of all Covid restrictions on campus, the Residence Hall Association is delighted to announce that Resident Advisors will now offer goodnight kisses to all homesick students.

Top 10 Reasons CoRo Is The Best Sophomore Housing!

ResLife April 27, 2022

Freshman year went by way too fast. Now you have a chance to experience the year all over again (except you Don’t know anyone around you! Yes!)

5 Signs That Your Sorry Ass Got Dropped From The 8-Man

ResLife Spooky Student Life March 8, 2021

Sadly, much like Julius Caesar or Meghan Markle, many students are about to find themselves stabbed in the back by those they once called friends.

Ten Dorm Decorations That Are Absolutely Red Flags

Dorm Stuff ResLife Student Life February 25, 2021

Whether you’re going over to someone’s dorm to seal the deal, work with a classmate on a group project, or you’re an RA who’s about to inform residents that they’ve been suspended by the University — nothing says more about the person living in a room than how they... Read more

Campus Ninth Men Unionize To Avoid Living On CoRo

Dorm Stuff Freshmen ResLife February 18, 2020

STUART HALL — In a press conference Tuesday morning, “ninth men” across campus announced that they have officially formed a union. The leader of the new union, Sarah Shaughnessy (MCAS ’21), spoke to reporters at the event. “For too long, the folks in the ninth spot in a room... Read more

Freshman Relieved To Discover Sex Is Banned In Campus Dorms

Dorm Stuff ResLife Sex October 10, 2019

DUCHESNE EAST—After actually deciding to read the Boston College housing policy, Jack McElroy (MCAS ‘23) was elated to discover that sex is banned in campus dorms. The policy, which states that “sexual activity between or among members of the same or opposite sex is prohibited in the residence halls,”... Read more

SAP Releases Fake “Community Map,” Claims Newton Campus Is Part Of The BC Community

Campus Culture Dorm Stuff ResLife October 1, 2019

DEVLIN HALL — The Student Admissions Program (SAP) came under fire Tuesday afternoon after a controversial press release stating Newton Campus is actually within the bounds of Main Campus. The release added that students on Newton could be assured that they would have an authentic experience of Chestnut Hill... Read more

Roommate’s Sex Playlist Has Too Many Disney Songs

Dorm Stuff ResLife September 19, 2019

VANDERSLICE HALL — Elizabeth Maretti (MCAS ’22) was reportedly extremely uncomfortable Saturday evening when her roommate’s boyfriend stayed the night. “I mean first of all the common room couches do not offer much back support, and also my childhood was ruined,” Maretti said of roommate’s sex playlist consisting of... Read more

Twenty-Five Percent Of Freshman Class Comes Down With CoRo Virus

Dorm Stuff Freshmen ResLife March 21, 2019

After previously denying its existence, Dr. Tom Nary of University Health Services has confirmed a significant outbreak of CoRo Virus, affecting one in four rising sophomores. CoRo Virus is a rare disease, with symptoms including loneliness, depression, and irrational anger at the luck the gods bestowed on you. How... Read more