DUCHESNE EAST—After actually deciding to read the Boston College housing policy, Jack McElroy (MCAS ‘23) was elated to discover that sex is banned in campus dorms. The policy, which states that “sexual activity between or among members of the same or opposite sex is prohibited in the residence halls,”... Read more
SAP Releases Fake “Community Map,” Claims Newton Campus Is Part Of The BC Community
Campus CultureDorm StuffResLife October 1, 2019
DEVLIN HALL — The Student Admissions Program (SAP) came under fire Tuesday afternoon after a controversial press release stating Newton Campus is actually within the bounds of Main Campus. The release added that students on Newton could be assured that they would have an authentic experience of Chestnut Hill... Read more
Roommate’s Sex Playlist Has Too Many Disney Songs
Dorm StuffResLife September 19, 2019
VANDERSLICE HALL — Elizabeth Maretti (MCAS ’22) was reportedly extremely uncomfortable Saturday evening when her roommate’s boyfriend stayed the night. “I mean first of all the common room couches do not offer much back support, and also my childhood was ruined,” Maretti said of roommate’s sex playlist consisting of... Read more
Fucking Idiot In Mailroom Doesn’t Know Shelf Number
Dorm StuffStudent Life September 16, 2019
WALSH HALL — Certified idiot Max Mortimer (CSOM ‘22) arrived at the Walsh mailroom Friday afternoon intending to somehow pick up a package without knowing his shelf number. Bystanders and mailroom employees looked on as Mortimer searched his email for the vital code like a dumbass. “Uh, I have... Read more
Twenty-Five Percent Of Freshman Class Comes Down With CoRo Virus
Dorm StuffFreshmenResLife March 21, 2019
After previously denying its existence, Dr. Tom Nary of University Health Services has confirmed a significant outbreak of CoRo Virus, affecting one in four rising sophomores. CoRo Virus is a rare disease, with symptoms including loneliness, depression, and irrational anger at the luck the gods bestowed on you. How... Read more
How To Tell Your Ninth Friend, “It’s Not You, It’s All Eight Of Us”
Dorm StuffFreshmen March 18, 2019
It’s that time of year again: housing season! The time of year when the “Hardey Honeys” group chat turns into “Walsh Ladies.” Every spring, the housing gods of Boston College require that you take your friends and arrange them into perfectly packaged eight-person groups. This can mean difficult discussions... Read more
WALSH HALL — It was reported around 9:45 PM on Tuesday that at least three pigs were running through the halls of the fifth floor of Walsh Hall. It was unclear where the pigs had come from or why they were there. The Boston College Police Department (BCPD) was... Read more
REPORT: Fun Roommate Not In Room
Dorm StuffStudent Life February 20, 2019
LOWER CAMPUS — Walsh Hall resident William Welch (MCAS ’21) fell victim to the old switcheroo on Wednesday when he entered his common room to find that his fun roommate was not in the room. “Oh man, I thought Adam would be in here,” Welch said. “I sorta wish... Read more