The New England Classic
LTE: All Good Deeds Are Inherently Selfish

At the end of the day are we not just serving ourselves? I over serve myself in alcohol and you over serve yourself in the reception of gratitude and acknowledgement, are we both not drunk?

Read more
BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed

Sure, you might have seen the first page of #THEPATH, which includes things like the Eagles having to win out the league and Virginia having to beat Louisville in the games this weekend, but little did readers know that there was an entire second side of #THEPATH.

Read more
BC Alcohol Compliance Officer Ranked First in Jobs That Will Definitely Get You Laid

U.S. News posted the rankings this past week with The New England Classic Staff Writer and Monster Truck Driver coming in positions two and three, respectively. Both of those positions pull more sexual partners than all other jobs with the exception of Alcohol Compliance Officer.

Read more
Cool Dad Transported From Tailgate (For Routine Colonoscopy)

“It all happened so fast,” recalls Bruce McManus Jr. (CSOM ’23), who was witness to the episode. “One moment, I was crushing brews and tossing the pigskin with my old man. Next thing I knew, he’s getting examined for swollen/irritated tissues, polyps, or cancer in his large intestine!”

Read more
Ultimate Frisbee Teams Throw Pizzas Across Comm. Ave, Receive Crazy Dough’s Sponsorship

After getting the green light from the owner of Dough’s, Roni knew that she needed to get as many hands on deck as possible. She sent a text to Veggie Dude (CSOM ’22), captain of the Men’s Club Ultimate Frisbee team, to ask if his team could offer a few handlers. He was initially skeptical but eventually got on board. “I didn’t want to say yes at first because I knew I’d have a few beers in me, but then I remembered I play almost every club game drunk.”

Read more
Former Fake ID Owners Spend Weekend at Build-a-Bear, Pump It Up

The remaining population of underage juniors have opted for a more dignified and exclusive option: playing in a private room for 2 hours at Pump It Up. Summer B. Irthday (MCAS ’23) explained to The Classic that she is part of the “silent majority” of underage juniors, and repeatedly reiterated that the rug burn on her knees and elbows are “not what you think.”

Read more
Guy Registers Special Little Mod Party Just For Himself

One mod resident who didn’t receive a pick time reported hearing strange sounds throughout the night. “I’d hear, like, Shakira playing and think ‘Oh, he is having a party,’” said Tom Blamigan (LSOE ’22), “but then it’d be followed by the kind of sob that could only come from a grown man. Really guttural stuff. It was tough to listen to.”

Read more
Wait, Do You Guys Actually All Have Fake IDs?

I thought fake ids were a myth – the type of thing you only see in Superbad. Like, it’s literally illegal. I’m a good kid. Sure, I like a good underage drink once in a while but identity theft?!

Read more
Circle Tavern “Edgar Allan Poe Night” Offers Chains, Wine, And Cement Special
THE CIRCLE TAVERN – Upperclassmen perusing Herrd last week were elated to see an advertisement from the Circle Tavern at the top of their page. Thursday’s “Chains, Wine, and Cement Special” drew students in with promises of giveaways, discounted appetizers, and a sampling of a rare drink known only... Read more
BC Marble Spillers And Banana Peelers Club Banned From Marathon
CARNEY HALL—While BC is renowned for uplifting and celebrating its student clubs, OSI has placed restrictions on the “Marble Spillers and Banana Peelers” club. From Sunday, 7 P.M. to Monday, 7 P.M., members of the club are not allowed within 20 feet of Commonwealth Avenue. “It’s a safety risk,”... Read more