Circle Tavern Installs Bright Lights, Hockey Team Fails to Show Up
Campus CultureDrinkingSports April 1, 2025
“Ah, y’know, umm, when we were performing in that forgiving, low-stakes environment, y’know it’s just an all-out assault on the [bar-]tendy, throwing a lot of [Jägermeister] shots back,” said another player who could never finish his shots. “But now that they installed the bright lights, that high-pressure environment just became too much for us.”
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Local Royalist Turns Ginger Run into Running of the Bulls
AbroadCampus CultureDrinkingHolidays March 14, 2025
“Y’know I was eight pints deep making da rounds ‘round Mod 18B moving like a priest at last call, and next ting y’know I’m horn-to-arse with a feckin’ bull charging at me like I owed it a fiver,” said Róisín MacDonagh, one of 17 redheads on the BC Irish Dance team. “My heart still felt for the poor ting y’know. Probably had no granny who loved him. No granpappy to sing it lullabies, let me tell ya.”
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“Where I was, a margarita was four dollars and I didn’t even have to tip. It’s just so awesome how they all get paid a livable wage.”
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How could this be? You’re 18 (literally an adult), and you are in college. No way your uptight parents aren’t going to let you get sloppy drunk on the best holiday of the year.
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Overzealous RA Confiscates Resident’s Alcohol Functional Group
Dorm StuffDrinkingResLife October 8, 2024
“Hugh is brazen and obviously wreckless,” said Ranie. “He didn’t even care enough to try and hide the alcohol.”
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LTE: My Parents Don’t Know How To Socialize Either
BOBDrinkingStudent Life September 26, 2024
My mom keeps refusing to eat Greg’s dad’s food because she feels bad, but she’s actually just making it awkward as fuck. As I watch my parents, I ask myself, why must I feel ashamed of my parents’ uncanny dispositions?
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RUH ROH! Underclassmen Chased Out Of Circle By Paw Patrol.
DrinkingStudent Life September 25, 2024
Using the power of teamwork and friendship, the Paw Patrol handled the situation with ease. Chase, the police dog, went in first to round up and chase out the underclassmen.
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At the end of the day are we not just serving ourselves? I over serve myself in alcohol and you over serve yourself in the reception of gratitude and acknowledgement, are we both not drunk?
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BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed
Big IssuesCampus CultureDrinking November 10, 2023
Sure, you might have seen the first page of #THEPATH, which includes things like the Eagles having to win out the league and Virginia having to beat Louisville in the games this weekend, but little did readers know that there was an entire second side of #THEPATH.
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