Campus Ninth Men Unionize To Avoid Living On CoRo
STUART HALL — In a press conference Tuesday morning, “ninth men” across campus announced that they have officially formed a union.
The leader of the new union, Sarah Shaughnessy (MCAS ’21), spoke to reporters at the event.
“For too long, the folks in the ninth spot in a room on this campus have been pushed out,” said Smith. “We’ve been discriminated against. We’ve been forced to live on CoRo with weird strangers who smell bad. Well, we say, no longer!”
The union also submitted a list of formal demands to the Office of Residential Life in a letter earlier today. The demands include the introduction of forced nine-mans, knocking down Welch Hall, and “revamping” a housing process that “is fucked and fucks everyone all of the goddamn fucking time.”
It is unclear how Boston College administrators will respond to this most recent unionization effort on campus. The University’s president, William P. Leahy, S.J., seemed to cast doubt on the plans.
“Ha! Unions. That’s cute. We don’t do that here,” he said while skulking around campus at night.
The Office of Residential Life put out a statement in reaction to the unionization, although it appeared to have been drafted for a totally separate issue.
“University policy clearly dictates that marital unions are not allowed to occur in on-campus residence facilities. This policy is not up for debate at this time,” the statement read.
At press time, Shaughnessy was standing on a bench in Gasson Quad, speaking to a gathering of students. “We will seize the means of housing selection! Low-key, we have the power to do this.”