Freshmen RA’s Now Offer A Goodnight Kiss To Homesick Residents
Dorm StuffFreshmenResLife October 19, 2022
With the removal of all Covid restrictions on campus, the Residence Hall Association is delighted to announce that Resident Advisors will now offer goodnight kisses to all homesick students.
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“I don’t get it. The colors aren’t that different. They’re just like… muted? Sure, the trees are little bit grayer than normal. That’s cool, I guess. I just feel like I’m missing something.”
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Freshmen Protest Surging Uber Prices By Taking Ambulances Home From Clubs
Freshmen September 15, 2022
“If you call 9-1-1 and tell them that someone is passed out and not breathing, they will literally send a car so fast, and it’s way bigger than an UberXL”
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“I was fully prepared to hear ‘carpe diem’ on the first day,” Lostsole said. “I kept waiting for him to stand on the desk, but all he did was, lecture?”
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If we manage to escape the Western descent into fascism, the constant threat of nuclear war, the ever increasing threat of climate change, gerrymandering, Exxon Mobil, NFTs, shrimp in Cinnamon Toast Crunch, global pandemics, Don’t Look Up, Late Night in Lyons, and “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, you are going to do great things in your four (or less) years here.
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Lessons Learned From Last Sunday’s Snowstorm
Campus CultureFreshmen February 17, 2022
“What we found was that the aerodynamics of the coffin meant that the opposing forces of the snow didn’t allow for maximum kinetic energy on the acceleration of velocity so the resistance resulted in very little quarks,” remarked Freddy’s super smart friend, Philip Payne (MCAS ’25).
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Bert and Ernie Down the Hall Look Suspiciously Like Puppets
Dorm StuffFreshmenNewton November 17, 2021
“Whenever I dap either of them up, they can never really get the hang of it. It’s like someone else is controlling their limbs.” Commented Oscar de Grouch (MCAS ’25) “Their hands are pretty small too, I thought it was just because they’re kinda short kings, but now I think otherwise.”
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But one freshman, Brent Henry (MCAS ’25), is not in-the-know. He thinks that the Marathon Monday tradition involves all BC students actually running the Boston Marathon. Last week, he began training for it.
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Run! Philosophy Student Wants To Tell You What He’s Learned
Campus CultureFreshmenSchool October 7, 2021