Sex Archives | The New England Classic

Opinion: Strip Mod Must Go On, Even If It’s a Private Little Show Just For Me

Campus Culture Coronavirus Opinion Sex December 10, 2020

Throughout the fall semester, far too many beloved Boston College traditions have been postponed, doomed to rot on the shelf until further notice. But if I could make a plea to ensure one tradition continues this semester, it would be this: Strip Mod must go on, even if it’s... Read more

Op-Ed: I Am Madly In Love With The Single Weird Tiny Fully Finished Piece of The Schiller Center

Campus Culture Sex October 21, 2020

For weeks, I’d spend my days sitting in its shadow telling it about my day or just admiring its smooth, supple stone and powerful frame. The courageous independence of its existence.

Fuckboy Would Date You If It Weren’t For “Everything Going on Right Now”

Campus Culture Coronavirus Sex October 19, 2020

“Marley later clarified that he does not believe COVID-19 will impact his ability to hook up with you, just his emotional availability. As Boston College cracked down on the number of guests allowed in each place of residence, Marley felt it was only right to enforce a strict no-sleepover policy at his place starting Saturday. “

New Perspectives Curriculum Concludes Highest Achievable Good Is The WHOPPER Jr.®️

Campus Culture Freshmen School Sex Student Life October 8, 2020

STOKES NORTH — In a jarring series of events, Professor Kerry Cronin rewrote thirty years of Perspectives curriculum after a revelation came to her in a dream. After her weekly Thursday night ritual of picking up a WHOPPER Jr.®️ and a large order of Burger King’s famous chicken fries... Read more

“Who Even Gives A Shit Anymore?”: Furry Spotted On Newton Campus

Dorm Stuff Freshmen Sex October 1, 2020

“Yeah, man, I guess this sort of thing used to be a big deal. Any other week, honestly. But none of us can be bothered to give this kid the gaping, slack-jawed, sickened glares he’s so clearly begging for.”

OPINION: I’m A Water Fountain. Why Don’t You Want To Touch Me Anymore?

Campus Culture Sex September 24, 2020

You’ve passed me hundreds of times, and you’ve touched me more than I can count. I would be lying if I said I didn’t always crave those brief moments of contact between us, your lips close to mine, my fluid draining into your thirsty mouth. Our encounters weren’t always... Read more

Op-Ed: Valentine’s Day Is Over And So Is Premarital Sex

Holidays Opinion Sex February 17, 2020

February 14th, what a magical night. I bet you had a ton of fun having sex, huh? Bet you really enjoyed yourself. Think it’s so fun to disrespect the Lord? Yeah? Well guess what folks! Fuck time is OVER! That’s right, it’s time to hold hands and share one... Read more

New Study Finds 32% of Freshmen Lose Virginity While Wearing Agape Latte Shirt

Campus Culture Sex November 13, 2019

Boston College Sex Freshmen

Spooky! My Girlfriend Must Be A Vampire Because She Keeps Leaving Bite Marks On My Roommate’s Neck

Holidays Sex Spooky October 28, 2019

Halloween has always been a time of year filled with spooks, scares and surprises, but none have ever been quite as startling as this: my girlfriend of two years is a vampire. I know it sounds strange, but there’s no other explanation. My suspicions started about a month ago... Read more

Freshman Relieved To Discover Sex Is Banned In Campus Dorms

Dorm Stuff ResLife Sex October 10, 2019

DUCHESNE EAST—After actually deciding to read the Boston College housing policy, Jack McElroy (MCAS ‘23) was elated to discover that sex is banned in campus dorms. The policy, which states that “sexual activity between or among members of the same or opposite sex is prohibited in the residence halls,”... Read more