The New England Classic
Psych Major Cheats on Girlfriend; Explains He “Required Novel Stimuli”

Using his Walsh dorm as the testing grounds, Pist conducted a classic A/B test “to explore my reaction to novel stimuli in an intimate setting”.

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BC’s Legal Lineup: Predictions for Who’s Diving into the Swim & Dive Legal Battle

After getting a team suspension due to hazing, BC Swim & Dive is lawyered up and ready for action. As BC prepares to defend itself,  the Classic has acquired a leaked list of finalists for Boston College’s representatives in the legal battle with Swim & Dive.

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BC Alcohol Compliance Officer Ranked First in Jobs That Will Definitely Get You Laid

U.S. News posted the rankings this past week with The New England Classic Staff Writer and Monster Truck Driver coming in positions two and three, respectively. Both of those positions pull more sexual partners than all other jobs with the exception of Alcohol Compliance Officer.

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Golden Jesuit: Father Leahy Trades Collar for C*nd*ms

“Once a man of God, now a God of love. This prim and proper priest who has spent the majority of his life being a figurehead at Boston College is ready to trade that position for a more pleasurable one”

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Super Original Girl Says  “Why He Kinda…” Towards Every  Dad During Parents Weekend

“She keeps pointing out these ugly ass old men and saying they’re hot,” said Oyed. “Like, yeah it was funny the first time, but now it’s just getting annoying and weird.”

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Your Friend Who Puts Herself In Dangerous Situations With Strange Men Is “Totally A Samantha”
CORCORAN COMMONS — Sex icons. When those words are heard, Samantha Jones, the backbone of hit show Sex and The City, often comes to mind. However, one unsuspecting student, Ah Loof (CSOM ‘24) made the mistake of sharing her relationship troubles with her friend who is a Classic writer.... Read more
Telling People Your ACT Score, And 10 More Surefire Ways To Protect Your Virginity

You got a 34 (35 superscore) and everyone else who got into the same university as you NEEDS to know it. Find a way to drop it into conversation even if it doesn’t relate to the topic at hand!

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SPOOKY: I Got Sent TOO Many Condomgrams

Talherpes soon came to understand that her boyfriend was sending her these candy bags filled with cryptic messages about her sexual health. For Talherpes, the condomgrams quickly lost their shine and became signs of a potential medical emergency.

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WTF: This Eco-Conscious Girl Uses Condoms?
WALSH HALL — In the past few years, the student-led organization Ecopledge has completed a variety of modest improvements to work toward making Boston College a more sustainable campus and Boston College’s instagram more greenwashed. Waste reduction efforts have given students the opportunity to throw their plastic forks in... Read more
Student Gets Sexiled By His Parents

Notale continued, “There is nothing quite as embarrassing as your parents having sex in your dorm bed before you even have. The only thing possibly more embarrassing is having to sit in the hallway with your roommate AND his parents, waiting for them to finish their rekindling. By the length of the wait, I think they went two or three times or they were talking, but I really cannot imagine them talking for that long without a fight.”

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