The New England Classic
SPOOKY: Freshman Ridiculed For Not Wearing Halloween Costume On Halloween

“Don’t be all uncool and skip out on wearing a costume because I’m being serious when I say EVERYONE wears costumes for Halloween classes.”

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SPOOKY: Hillside Halloween Decorations Come To Life, Eat All The Frips

“First thing I noticed were the decorations, them being alive and all I mean,” said Einstein. “The second thing I noticed was that we were all out of Frips.”

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SPOOKY: Blandest Person You Know Going As Maddy From Euphoria For Halloween

One young avant-garde, Mary Muhndane (MCAS ’25), was blessed with a stroke of genius with the most original idea to go as Maddy from the little-watched trauma porn, I mean show, Euphoria, on HBO.

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SPOOKY: I Got Sent TOO Many Condomgrams

Talherpes soon came to understand that her boyfriend was sending her these candy bags filled with cryptic messages about her sexual health. For Talherpes, the condomgrams quickly lost their shine and became signs of a potential medical emergency.

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SPOOKY: Father Leahy To Dress As Active Member Of Community For Halloween
HELL — Celebrities: they’re just like us. Sources report that Father Leahy has been repeatedly spotted ravaging through his glass closet for the perfect set of costumes for Halloweekend. After choosing to save slutty nun and climate terrorist for Saturday and Sunday; Father Leahy still needed to find the... Read more
SPOOKY: Chocolate Bar To Hire Ghosts as Seasonal Employees
STOKES SOUTH — Due to a recent shortage in staffing, Stokes Hall’s beloved Chocolate Bar has been forced to shut down once again. Luckily for cacao- and caffeine-deprived students, BC Dining has announced a plan to dip into the largely unemployed ghost population present at Boston College. When asked about... Read more
Spooky: Someone Did The Dishes and It Wasn’t Me!

“I felt like I had walked into an episode of The Twilight Zone. Only something supernatural could have accomplished what the seven able bodied inhabitants of my 8-man seem incapable of doing.”

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SPOOKY! Casper Grew Up, and He’s Anti-Vaxx

Mr. Ghost began his presentation by calling the Pfizer vaccine “Commy Kool-Aid”, and global lockdowns “nothing more than an attempt to keep old guys like me off the streets.”

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SPOOKY: Ghosts Forced To Find New Haunts Because Of Guest Policy Crackdown
GONZAGA HALL — While most BC students have been enjoying the newfound freedom of the lenient guest policies this year, one unlucky group of guys and ghouls pushed the boundaries too far this past weekend. Resident Gonzaga ghosts Larry B. Scary and Vincent Van Ghost were haunting the halls as... Read more
SPOOKY: Turtleneck Hides Vampire Bite

The outbreak began a few weeks ago with the beginning of the new lunar cycle, according to supernatural scholars. “We are very concerned by these latest developments,” said Fr. Donald Callahan. “While the number of infected students is still relatively low, that is more of a sign of the lack of virgins on campus, which is equally troubling.”

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