“She’s Literally Bestie,” Says Girl About Rando In 9-Man With Whom She’ll Never Interact
VANDERSLICE HALL — Now that the grueling housing process has come to a close, rising sophomores must contend with the strange reality of their upcoming accommodations. Friend groups have been splintered, besties have been voted out of six-mans, and desperate floaters have spent hours poring over the Facebook group in search of a new life.
As the dust settles, one particular group tends to slip under the radar. Nine-mans, located exclusively in Vandy, quietly manage to cram the largest number of unsuspecting 19-year-olds into the smallest amount of space. They may not have gotten an eight-man, but they will find out what happens when five full-grown adults have to share one bathroom.
Leanne Titled (MCAS ’26), is a soon-to-be nine-man resident. Unable to part with her seven closest friends after failing to get blocked Walsh quads, Leanne convinced another member of the group to recruit a ninth person.
“We are literally so lucky that we all get to stay together,” said Leanne. “I was so relieved when my roommate, Katie, was able to convince her class friend’s boyfriend’s CAB friend’s sister to join our group. If that hadn’t worked out, we would’ve had to cut Layla and Madison, and they would NOT have taken it well.”
Leanne does not currently know the name of her eighth roommate, and despite being grateful for the addition, is extremely glad that “wifey” is not her direct.
“She’s the love of my life,” said Titled. “She’s my girl. Bestie. Shawty. I don’t know what else to say. What would I do without her? Like I definitely would have made Katie tell Layla and Madison that they were out of the group because I was wayyy too nervous, but can you imagine how angry they would have been. Anyways, I’m just glad that I like my directs and I don’t care that Madison is angry about having to share with the rando. Next year is gonna be liiitttttt.”
At press time, Titled was seen sitting in Mac with her seven besties, completely unaware of the fact that they will all despise each other by this time next year.