Holidays Archives | The New England Classic

Unlike The Circle Bouncer, Mom Won’t Let You Drink EVEN If You Slip Her A $20

Drinking Freshmen Holidays November 28, 2024

How could this be? You’re 18 (literally an adult), and you are in college. No way your uptight parents aren’t going to let you get sloppy drunk on the best holiday of the year.

Spooky! “Hallo, Ween!” German Exchange Student Confused About Phallic Holiday

Holidays Sex Spooky October 31, 2024

“Zere are so many things zat I vould like to ask about zis unusual celebration of ze penises, starting vith all of zis talk of dressing up for ze occasion”

LTE: Who Put Me In Charge Of Coordinating Fall Break For Every College Ever

Campus Culture Holidays LTE October 17, 2024

If it weren’t for me, you fuckers wouldn’t be watching a Morgan Wallen cosplayer at a bar in Nashville.

BC Girl Reconnects With Her Jesuit Values, Only Eats Bread Rolls And House Wine In Punta

Holidays Service Student Life March 13, 2024

“She promptly described her powerful experience at her 4-day mass in a ‘distant place,’ providing plenty of candids of her consumption of the ‘house wine blood’ and “bread roll body” of Christ.”

SPOOKY: Your Boyfriend is a Little TOO Excited to be Ken

Campus Culture Holidays Spooky October 25, 2023

Halloweekend is almost here, an exciting weekend filled with binge-drinking, slutty little costumes, and an excuse to post yet another photo dump of you and your eight-man on your Instagram! This is also a great weekend to hard-launch your boyfriend of three days with a couples costume, which is exactly what B. Eared (CSON ‘26) is planning on doing with the love of her life, Klaus Ette (MCAS ‘26).

“Broke” Roommate Packs For Fall Break Trip To Paris

Campus Culture Holidays Student Life October 4, 2023

“Somewhere in the Boston Logan Airport, a plane prepares for its departure to Paris tomorrow. On that plane will be your destitute cash-strapped roommate whose mom couldn’t even book her the Four Seasons in time. But that will be a problem for tomorrow.”

Pfft… Only 26.2 Miles? This Student Walked Across The Country To Boston College

Campus Culture Holidays April 17, 2023

“It’s a been there, done that situation. If you climbed Mount Everest, would you be dying to show people that you can climb some stairs? Not really.”

5 Places Your Short Ginger Friend May Be Hiding Today

Holidays Student Life March 17, 2023

If your little red-headed friend is nowhere to be found at the end of the rainbow, then the Classic has you covered! We’ve listed the top-5 most likely hiding places for your short ginger friend on this grand day. Sláinte!

Pick Me Guy Walks Into Friendsgiving, Says “Where My Thanks At”

Campus Culture Holidays Student Life November 20, 2022

The latest showing of Latz’s pick me tendencies came Saturday night when he showed up five minutes late to his upstairs neighbors’ Friendsgiving dinner and began asking every person at the function, “Where my thanks at?”

Guy Who Hates Christmas Ready To Make It His Whole Personality

Campus Culture Holidays November 1, 2022

Neighbor Holly Day (LSOE ’23) said, “My roommates and I were just enjoying our evening, stringing lights in the living room, when all of a sudden there was a deafening knock on the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a fervent noise complaint from an angry man in a nightcap who looked like he could have been either 22 or 82.”