The New England Classic
Pfft… Only 26.2 Miles? This Student Walked Across The Country To Boston College

“It’s a been there, done that situation. If you climbed Mount Everest, would you be dying to show people that you can climb some stairs? Not really.”

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5 Places Your Short Ginger Friend May Be Hiding Today

If your little red-headed friend is nowhere to be found at the end of the rainbow, then the Classic has you covered! We’ve listed the top-5 most likely hiding places for your short ginger friend on this grand day. Sláinte!

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Pick Me Guy Walks Into Friendsgiving, Says “Where My Thanks At”

The latest showing of Latz’s pick me tendencies came Saturday night when he showed up five minutes late to his upstairs neighbors’ Friendsgiving dinner and began asking every person at the function, “Where my thanks at?”

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Guy Who Hates Christmas Ready To Make It His Whole Personality

Neighbor Holly Day (LSOE ’23) said, “My roommates and I were just enjoying our evening, stringing lights in the living room, when all of a sudden there was a deafening knock on the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a fervent noise complaint from an angry man in a nightcap who looked like he could have been either 22 or 82.”

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I’m Jewish …You’ve Got Schmutz On Your Face

“I don’t know the significance of the stuff. Everyone has the right to practice what they want, but golly, I just want to lick my thumb and shine them up just like my Bubbe used to do.”

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Strategic Genius: Boyfriend Utilizes Body Double to Deke Valentine’s Day Responsibilities

“Since he doesn’t have anything better to do, he’ll be the one forced to sit through Valentine’s Day dinner at the Dorchester Applebee’s while I’m watching Jerry York struggle to make it through one more year.”

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Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th
CHESTNUT HILL ​​— Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more
“We’re Totally Grabbing Lunch Over Break,” Say High School Friends Who Will Definitely Not Be Grabbing Lunch Over Break
NEEDHAM, MA  — As BC students flock home for Thanksgiving, the impending doom of being forced to reunite with highschool acquaintances has led many to adopt tactics of negotiation and diplomacy.  Anita Brake (MCAS ‘25), excitedly posted an obligatory “Goodbye Chestnut Hill, hello Needham” boomerang on her story to commemorate... Read more
Athlete Scoots Home For The Holidays Due To Surge In Flight Prices

However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”

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SPOOKY: Chocolate Bar To Hire Ghosts as Seasonal Employees
STOKES SOUTH — Due to a recent shortage in staffing, Stokes Hall’s beloved Chocolate Bar has been forced to shut down once again. Luckily for cacao- and caffeine-deprived students, BC Dining has announced a plan to dip into the largely unemployed ghost population present at Boston College. When asked about... Read more