“What? How can he Ascend? That’s the girls only retreat and Jesus is literally the Son of God.”
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“We didn’t even really do anything that bad, but I guess it was important to say something ahead of these St. Patty’s [sic] Day shenanigans,” read their attempt at an apology. “Sure, we might’ve reduced their discipline to a wee minor, bastardized their entire language, and deliberately poisoned all potatoes in their breakroom, but can I get a sláyyy-ante?!”
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Local Royalist Turns Ginger Run into Running of the Bulls
AbroadCampus CultureDrinkingHolidays March 14, 2025
“Y’know I was eight pints deep making da rounds ‘round Mod 18B moving like a priest at last call, and next ting y’know I’m horn-to-arse with a feckin’ bull charging at me like I owed it a fiver,” said Róisín MacDonagh, one of 17 redheads on the BC Irish Dance team. “My heart still felt for the poor ting y’know. Probably had no granny who loved him. No granpappy to sing it lullabies, let me tell ya.”
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How could this be? You’re 18 (literally an adult), and you are in college. No way your uptight parents aren’t going to let you get sloppy drunk on the best holiday of the year.
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“Zere are so many things zat I vould like to ask about zis unusual celebration of ze penises, starting vith all of zis talk of dressing up for ze occasion”
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LTE: Who Put Me In Charge Of Coordinating Fall Break For Every College Ever
Campus CultureHolidaysLTE October 17, 2024
If it weren’t for me, you fuckers wouldn’t be watching a Morgan Wallen cosplayer at a bar in Nashville.
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BC Girl Reconnects With Her Jesuit Values, Only Eats Bread Rolls And House Wine In Punta
HolidaysServiceStudent Life March 13, 2024
“She promptly described her powerful experience at her 4-day mass in a ‘distant place,’ providing plenty of candids of her consumption of the ‘house wine blood’ and “bread roll body” of Christ.”
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SPOOKY: Your Boyfriend is a Little TOO Excited to be Ken
Campus CultureHolidaysSpooky October 25, 2023
Halloweekend is almost here, an exciting weekend filled with binge-drinking, slutty little costumes, and an excuse to post yet another photo dump of you and your eight-man on your Instagram! This is also a great weekend to hard-launch your boyfriend of three days with a couples costume, which is exactly what B. Eared (CSON ‘26) is planning on doing with the love of her life, Klaus Ette (MCAS ‘26).
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“Broke” Roommate Packs For Fall Break Trip To Paris
Campus CultureHolidaysStudent Life October 4, 2023
“Somewhere in the Boston Logan Airport, a plane prepares for its departure to Paris tomorrow. On that plane will be your destitute cash-strapped roommate whose mom couldn’t even book her the Four Seasons in time. But that will be a problem for tomorrow.”
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