The New England Classic
Ten Dorm Decorations That Are Absolutely Red Flags
Whether you’re going over to someone’s dorm to seal the deal, work with a classmate on a group project, or you’re an RA who’s about to inform residents that they’ve been suspended by the University — nothing says more about the person living in a room than how they... Read more
Massachusetts To Use BC’s Gym Reservation Software To Schedule Vaccines

“Working in conjunction with our partners in Chestnut Hill, the Massachusetts Department of Public Health will be providing the remaining doses of both the Moderna and the Pfizer COVID vaccines throughout the state using this newly revamped, state of the art scheduling infrastructure,” Baker announced.

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The Wolf of Comm. Ave: This Guy Made $1.37 Day-Trading on Robinhood

At press time, Jones was seen listening to “Jordan Belfort” on loop while applying to senior-level management positions at several top Wall Street firms.

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Roommate’s Boyfriend Discovers Dishwasher

“‘Can I put this in here?’ he asked me, and crammed it into the cup section before I could ask him to rinse it out first. But still, baby steps! We’re so proud of the little guy” she laughed.

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“That’s Not A Buick,” Reports Student Staring At Buick

“What, the black one? With the big front grill? Tinted windows? Four-door? V6? Looks about ‘08, ‘09 maybe? Apple CarPlay™? Rear-wheel drive? Automatic heated seats? Yeah, that’s not a Buick bro, nice try” Ford exclaimed to the Buick’s owner.

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New Narcissus? This Kid Pins His Own Video
LOWER CAMPUS — Sources say a Boston College student has fallen in love with his own reflection after learning that Zoom allows users to “pin” their videos during meetings. “Who is that guy?” said Hugh Jeego (CSOM ’22) to himself in a virtual interview with The Classic. “He has... Read more
What The Fuck: Roommate Just Took The Lord’s Name In Vain

“I honestly couldn’t believe it,” said Arist. “I mean sure, I may have instigated it by calling him a fat-ass mistake of a human being, but like taking the Lord’s name in vain? That’s just too fucking far, man.”

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CAB To Give Out FastPasses For Dining Hall Lines
CORCORAN COMMONS — Lengthy lines at campus dining halls have left many Boston College students hungry for quicker service to fill their rumbling tummies. Lines at Lower, Mac, and Stuart this past week were longer than ever as students returned to campus.  Luckily, in their weekly email full of... Read more
Going Baby On Baby? Nursing Student Helps Deliver Twins
LONGWOOD MEDICAL AREA — Anna Dababski (CSON ’22), a junior on clinical rotation with the OB/GYN department of Brigham and Women’s Hospital, played a crucial role last Thursday in aiding a mother through the birth of her first born baby. As it turned out, however, there was another one... Read more
COVID Cases Spike After UGBC Distributes Identical Water Bottles
CONTE FORUM — Following students’ return to campus for the Spring 2021 semester, the Undergraduate Government of Boston College came under fire this week with the recent spike in undergraduate COVID-19 cases becoming increasingly linked to the governing body’s mass distribution of identical water bottles. In what many are... Read more