Student Life Archives | Page 4 of 26 | The New England Classic

Alarming: Hundreds of Students Would Rather Be In New Jersey

Holidays Student Life November 30, 2020

“At press time, hundreds of New Jerseryan students were queued up at the Newton Center Shell station, waiting for someone else to pump their gas.”

Developing: UIS Set to Dictate Whether Students Go to Heaven or Hell

School Student Life November 13, 2020

Next semester, students will have the opportunity to register for a class that will determine whether they will live forever in blessed communion with The Lord or find themselves chained to the infernal river in the dominion of Satan.

Five Things To Talk About Now That The Election Is Over, And They’re All The Rat Line

Big Issues Campus Culture School Student Life Uncategorized November 12, 2020

1) The Rat Line I mean, Jesus Christ. The Rat used to MEAN SOMETHING, for pete’s sake. Remind your friends and loved ones how miserable a metaphor the Rat has become for our whole new way of life. The Rat is, as it has always been, the center of... Read more

Inspiring: Freethinking Roommate Doesn’t Have A TikTok

Student Life November 5, 2020

“’I enjoy being told that the things I like are stupid,’ says Smith’s roommate, Charles DiEmilio (LSOE ’23). ‘Especially from someone like Andy, who is so clearly better than me.'”

Student Body Flips On Thanksgiving Poll: “We No Longer Ever Wish To Go Home”

Big Issues Coronavirus Student Life November 4, 2020

SERVICES.BC.EDU — In a shocking last-minute push, Boston College students overwhelmingly reversed course on the Thanksgiving ultimatum that the University posed to them in late October. While projections from the Associated Press initially showed that, as of Monday, a majority of students planned to go home, the fallout from... Read more

Spooky: It’s Not Me, It’s You

Spooky Student Life October 29, 2020

“It’s kind of sad, but I really can’t say that I’m to blame.”

Spooky: [email protected] Is Your New Stepdad

Campus Culture Student Life October 28, 2020

McELROY COMMONS— Senior Stephen Kelly (‘21) got more than he paid for at his most recent trip to McElroy Commons. Kelly, who usually frequents Lower Dining Hall or his own 2150 Kitchen, found himself in the Upper campus eatery to grab a quick chicken and two sides after his... Read more

Spooky: BC Bookstore Sale Offering 20% Off Your Life Expectancy

Jesuits Spooky Student Life October 27, 2020

I felt a phantasm of my mother’s being beckoning me, like a tether to this corporeal realm, and as she called me back from the darkness, she whispered, ‘Get your father and I “BC Mom and Dad” fleece jackets, sweetie.

Pumpkin Sues BC EMS For Botched Surgery

Campus Culture Spooky Student Life October 22, 2020

GABELLI HALL — Dreams of a blissful thot-umn were thrown into uncertainty when news broke that Doctorina Miami (CSON ‘22), Vice President of Boston College EMS, was being sued for medical malpractice and emotional distress by a pumpkin she carved earlier this week. “I was just trying to be... Read more

New Perspectives Curriculum Concludes Highest Achievable Good Is The WHOPPER Jr.®️

Campus Culture Freshmen School Sex Student Life October 8, 2020

STOKES NORTH — In a jarring series of events, Professor Kerry Cronin rewrote thirty years of Perspectives curriculum after a revelation came to her in a dream. After her weekly Thursday night ritual of picking up a WHOPPER Jr.®️ and a large order of Burger King’s famous chicken fries... Read more