The New England Classic
Theater Kid Friend Could’ve Gone Broadway If He Hadn’t Torn His ACL

Alas, one fateful day during his senior year production of SpongeBob: The Musical, Threat’s Broadway dreams were shattered when he broke a leg slipping on an unfortunately placed banana peel during final dress rehearsals.

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“It’s Like A Third Leg”—Telltale Signs Of Leahy’s Snow Angel

“Gasson Quad was not untouched: in the middle lay a fresh snow angel, complete with wings, a priest collar, and a tree-trunk sized sleeve jutting from its crotch. “

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Student Who Applied To Collage Confused Why No Classes Use Paper Mache

“Over the last 4 years, I’ve been telling my friends and family that I go Boston Collage”, Less said “They think I’ve dedicated 4 years to intensive experiential learning via multimedia digital and canvas storytelling. My parents are so proud of me, what the hell am I gonna tell them now? They spent almost $350,000 and all I have to show them is a bunch of essays and bluebooks filled with gibberish and buzzwords.”

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UFC Fight Night – Paul VS Leahy

Leahy’s strict regimen consists of a healthy mix of  intense water aerobic dance, low intensity steady state cardio on the PhysioMax Commercial Total Body Exerciser Upper Body Ergometer and Recumbent BikeTM, and 10 sets of yoga ball “goofing off” until failure to finish it up. 

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An Overdue Celebration: Happy Men’s Week from The New England Classic!

Drink some beer. Cheat on your girlfriend. Call your mom a bitch. Eat some raw meat. Shoot a gun. Ball out. Go fucking crazy. This week is for us. Let’s bring back manly men.

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Spooky! You Had Your Volume On High When You Solved The Mini Crossword In Your 200-person Lecture!

He solved the New York Times Mini Crossword in one minute and 29 seconds, letting the sweet jingle of victory ring out in his 200-person African Diaspora and the World lecture. 

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Yikes! My Priest Is Texting On The Other Side Of The Confessional

“While most priests hold this as one of their highest duties to God, some priests like to get a little wacky after a few too many sips of Christ blood.”

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I Promise, It’s SO Fun! Trying To Explain The Newton Woods To Your Friend Who Goes To UTampa

Tuah ambushed Dofonder with stories of pool parties, “wild nights” at SAE, and pictures of the Malibu bottles adorning her dorm room window. When asked about the going out scene at BC, Dofonder was dumbfounded.

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Espresso Your Faith Week: Dunkin Sponsors Baptisms On The Quad

Crowds congregated on the Gasson Quad as students lined up to get into a coffee cup-shaped dunk-tank, where members of Campus Ministry dropped them into a pool of Dunkin cold brew.

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LTE: My Parents Don’t Know How To Socialize Either

My mom keeps refusing to eat Greg’s dad’s food because she feels bad, but she’s actually just making it awkward as fuck. As I watch my parents, I ask myself, why must I feel ashamed of my parents’ uncanny dispositions?

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