Jesuits Archives | The New England Classic

UFC Fight Night – Paul VS Leahy

Jesuits Leahy Student Life November 21, 2024

Leahy’s strict regimen consists of a healthy mix of intense water aerobic dance, low intensity steady state cardio on the PhysioMax Commercial Total Body Exerciser Upper Body Ergometer and Recumbent BikeTM, and 10 sets of yoga ball “goofing off” until failure to finish it up.

Yikes! My Priest Is Texting On The Other Side Of The Confessional

Campus Culture Jesuits Leahy Student Life October 23, 2024

“While most priests hold this as one of their highest duties to God, some priests like to get a little wacky after a few too many sips of Christ blood.”

Espresso Your Faith Week: Dunkin Sponsors Baptisms On The Quad

Jesuits Student Life September 27, 2024

Crowds congregated on the Gasson Quad as students lined up to get into a coffee cup-shaped dunk-tank, where members of Campus Ministry dropped them into a pool of Dunkin cold brew.

Golden Jesuit: Father Leahy Trades Collar for Cndms

Jesuits Leahy Sex October 6, 2023

“Once a man of God, now a God of love. This prim and proper priest who has spent the majority of his life being a figurehead at Boston College is ready to trade that position for a more pleasurable one”

BC Builds Outdoor Venue For Stoning Sinners And Heretics

Campus Culture Jesuits Leahy Student Life September 27, 2023

“I’ve seen this campus descend into moral depravity and sin over my career and it’s time we enhanced the judicial processes outlined in the Student Code of Conduct,” said Fr. Leahy. “We need to go back to the good old days when people doing bad things didn’t go through a long systematic trial, and we just stoned them to death. This outdoor venue is exactly for that.”

8-Man Gives Up Slurs For Lent

Campus Culture Jesuits February 22, 2023

“We just thought, you know, this was the year to really take our faith seriously,” said Big Ette (CSOM ’25). “So, yeah, we’re Catholic and proud and we aren’t saying ANY slurs except the f-slur out of devotion to our faith.”

Leahy’s Successor Revealed To Be Evil Face On The Back of His Head

Jesuits Leahy October 4, 2022

“It is I, William P. Leahy, and I am now announcing my successor to you few snooping reporters. My successor is none other than…” he paused to raise the already scalding levels of suspense. “Me!”

Kyle Backs Out Of Stokes Set And Is Replaced By Father John Misty, Angering BC Jesuits

Campus Culture Jesuits September 16, 2022

With song titles like “Fun Times in Babylon,” “God’s Favorite Customer,” and “Holy Shit,” it is easy to see how Administration was fooled, though a quick Google search would have shown that Misty has a history of openly criticizing Christianity. Fr. Leahy added, “When I looked him up on the computer, I started crying.”

Pontius Pilate: Slay Or Nay?

Campus Culture Jesuits April 15, 2022

JERUSALEM– Well, it’s that time of the year again. Many students have fled campus in hordes, ready to celebrate Holy Week in their hometowns of Just Outside New York, Near Chicago, and Western Mass. And as Easter approaches, that means it’s time for the New England Classic’s annual analysis... Read more

I’m Jewish …You’ve Got Schmutz On Your Face

Holidays Jesuits March 2, 2022

“I don’t know the significance of the stuff. Everyone has the right to practice what they want, but golly, I just want to lick my thumb and shine them up just like my Bubbe used to do.”