Inspired By Hegseth, Leahy Brings Together All Fathers To Discuss The Jesuits Plan
Big IssuesJesuitsLeahy October 1, 2025
Inspired by Secretary of War Pete Hegseth’s recent general-summoning jamboree, University President Fr. William P. Leahy, S.J., has reportedly called together every Father, Monsignor, Deacon, and vaguely-clerical-looking guy on campus for what insiders are describing as “a dry run for the Jesuits’ plan for religious world domination.”
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LTE: Do I Have To Sleep With This Jesuit After Our Third Coffee Date?
Campus CultureJesuitsSex September 24, 2025
I am worried that underneath that tight, all-black outfit is a yearning body expecting to get down and dirty in the confessional after our third cup of joe together.
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LTE: Help! My Resident Minister Offered Me Her Cookie!
Campus CultureJesuitsSexWTF September 18, 2025
That’s when my problem began. I was taking the Walsh elevator to the third floor when I found myself trapped with the resident minister. I tried to avoid her by playing with my COC (clash of clans) but, apparently, she took that to mean something else.
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“God whispered the idea to me during my mid-afternoon Examen; the best way to overcome our rivals is to become them, so we are bringing the prison experiment to Chestnut Hill,” said Fr. Leahy.
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BC Administration Cuts Office Of Sustainability To Make Room For Office of War
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life September 11, 2025
At the start of this year, the Boston College administration downsized the Office of Sustainability from one non-student employee to zero, leaving students and faculty wondering: “What’s next?” and “Shit, shit… shit?” The administration responded to calls for an explanation by announcing their grand opening of the Office of War. The announcement marks the beginning of an exciting chapter in BC’s history of imperial expansion.
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This is when things started to get uncomfortable, and he told me my service placement was “some guy named Phil” to whom I was only meant to call Papa P. I was then instructed to wear an Urban Outfitters corset to my service day, and was given a one way Charlie Card that only worked for the red line. I didn’t even know that they made those, but I guess I am just a small town girl…
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ResLife Announces New 5-Man Suites In Alignment With Recent Vatican Announcement
Dorm StuffJesuitsResLife September 2, 2025
This new housing opportunity allows BC students to live together with their four closest “friends,” just like the Pope.
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This year all Mudstock participants are required to “wear tight-fitting, but tasteful, white tank tops and get hosed down before competing in games”.
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“What? How can he Ascend? That’s the girls only retreat and Jesus is literally the Son of God.”
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UFC Fight Night – Paul VS Leahy
JesuitsLeahyStudent Life November 21, 2024
Leahy’s strict regimen consists of a healthy mix of intense water aerobic dance, low intensity steady state cardio on the PhysioMax Commercial Total Body Exerciser Upper Body Ergometer and Recumbent BikeTM, and 10 sets of yoga ball “goofing off” until failure to finish it up.
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