BC Administration Cuts Office Of Sustainability To Make Room For Office of War
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life September 11, 2025
At the start of this year, the Boston College administration downsized the Office of Sustainability from one non-student employee to zero, leaving students and faculty wondering: “What’s next?” and “Shit, shit… shit?” The administration responded to calls for an explanation by announcing their grand opening of the Office of War. The announcement marks the beginning of an exciting chapter in BC’s history of imperial expansion.
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Freshmen Don’t Want Your Friendship, They Want Your Vote
Campus CultureFreshmenStudent Life September 10, 2025
The Boston College Class of 2029 is now running for UGBC Senate! They moved past wanting you as a bus buddy, and are now focused on their Senate campaign to “invest in their future” as a future partner of their dad’s law firm. Tactics to win the freshmen vote include holding up QR codes in front of lost-looking individuals near Walsh or the Mods, as well as posing as bouncers at Two Saints where they take fake IDs, collect $20 to cut the line, and snag their vote!
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“Forever Fitz Girls” Are Over After Labor Day Weekend On The Cape
Campus CultureFreshmenStudent Life September 4, 2025
Madysynn and seven other residents on the second floor of Fitzpatrick Hall thought they had it all figured out. By Labor Day Weekend, they had already discussed plans for a Walsh 8-man and contacted Urban Realty about that house on Kirk for junior year. Little did they know, it would all come to a screeching halt by the time they passed Plymouth.
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Freshman Furry Excited For TAILgate
FreshmenSportsStudent Life August 29, 2025
With BC’s first football game of the season incoming, hundreds of freshmen prepare to blackout by 11 A.M. in front of their friends’ grandparents at a tailgate they weren’t even formally invited to. One freshman, Cain Ine (MCAS ‘29), is particularly thrilled at the prospect of a whole college ritual based on wearing tails and embracing that dog in us.
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Are Freshmen Getting Hotter? This Grad Student Thinks Yes!
Campus CultureFreshmenSexStudent Life August 28, 2025
With each August bringing increasingly large hordes of recent valedictorians, washed-up athletes, and guys named Jack, the question on every returning students’ mind remains the same: are freshmen getting hotter?
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This year all Mudstock participants are required to “wear tight-fitting, but tasteful, white tank tops and get hosed down before competing in games”.
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Man Cooks Up ALC Showdown Parlay Following Tragic March Madness Bracket Loss
Campus CultureSchoolStudent Life April 11, 2025
However, once he realized his mistake and discussed the issue with the boys (many of whom had made the same mistake) Swatcher realized that he could use the event to quench his thirst for competition and fuel his ever-present gambling addiction.
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Plainer shared her appreciation: “I never would’ve thought to take Advil for my period. Thank goodness there was a future doctor.”
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UGBC President Signs 17 Executive Orders On First Day of Administration
Big IssuesCampus CultureStudent Life March 26, 2025
In line with global political trends, the administration plans to implement projects that, in the words of one genius commentator, “make shit fucking suck even more than it already does”
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