The New England Classic
Uh Oh! Someone Just Mentioned Taylor Swift Around A 5’5” Man Who Loves Football
WHOVILLE — As Superbowl parties and parlays caked the American landscape this past Sunday, many fans of the game flocked to their television screens to view the biggest American sporting event of the year. Some of America’s biggest superstars, like Taylor Swift, Ice Spice, and Lady Gaga, were able... Read more
BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed

Sure, you might have seen the first page of #THEPATH, which includes things like the Eagles having to win out the league and Virginia having to beat Louisville in the games this weekend, but little did readers know that there was an entire second side of #THEPATH.

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BC’s Legal Lineup: Predictions for Who’s Diving into the Swim & Dive Legal Battle

After getting a team suspension due to hazing, BC Swim & Dive is lawyered up and ready for action. As BC prepares to defend itself,  the Classic has acquired a leaked list of finalists for Boston College’s representatives in the legal battle with Swim & Dive.

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BC Alcohol Compliance Officer Ranked First in Jobs That Will Definitely Get You Laid

U.S. News posted the rankings this past week with The New England Classic Staff Writer and Monster Truck Driver coming in positions two and three, respectively. Both of those positions pull more sexual partners than all other jobs with the exception of Alcohol Compliance Officer.

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The 10-Year Plan now calls for BC to level the Mods and build eight more Carneys in their place. 

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BREAKING: The Most Narcissistic Person You know Just Launched A Podcast

“It just makes sense. Throughout the day, he records voice memos on his phone that he plays back at night to lull himself to sleep.” 

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Tour Groups are Back! 10 Projectiles to Throw at Them
DEVLIN HALL – What rhymes with azure poop and is always in your way? That’s right! A tour group! As you may have noticed, our gilded walkways have become infested with masses of prospective Boston College Eagles. It’s about time we take back our walkways, the walkways that were... Read more
“Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”: How One Confused CSOM Student Thought He Took A Foreign Language Class

It wasn’t until further into the class that he heard the word “equity” and felt safe once again as he believed he was back in the magical land of finance. 

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BC Football Gets Sent To Glee Club

At press time, the team was seen rehearsing a rendition of the cupid shuffle and getting slushies thrown in their face by the McKinley High football team.

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BC Corrects Typo, Announces That Commencement Speaker Is Actually Ambassador To “The Crane”

“The Crane. Is. The. Moment. Have you fucking seen it?” administrator Crain Luver said. “It’s massive. Always doing stuff for the BC community. AND it has an ambassador- that’s epic. We honestly couldn’t have picked a better speaker.”

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