Big Issues Archives | The New England Classic

Addazio Fired, May Miss Bowl Game

Addazio Big Issues December 2, 2019

ALUMNI STADIUM — It was reported late Sunday evening that Steve Addazio was dismissed from his position as head coach of the Boston College football team, and, as a result, may miss the team’s bowl game against a to-be-determined opponent later this December. The news comes less than twenty-four... Read more

Student Services: “Pee After Registration Or You’ll Get A UIS”

Big Issues Campus Culture Uncategorized November 19, 2019

For more tips and tricks, read our print issue this December. Read more

Student Vapers Decide To Play It Safe And Chain Smoke Cigarettes

Big Issues Boston Campus Culture September 26, 2019

RICHDALE FOOD SHOPS — After Governor Charlie Baker finalized the state-wide vape ban on Tuesday, Boston College Juulers announced their plans to take the “responsible course of action” and begin chain smoking cigarettes until electronic vaping devices are declared completely safe. “I know exactly how horrible cigarettes are for... Read more

Ben Shapiro Purchases O’Neill And Bapst, Now Owns The Libs

Big Issues WTF April 9, 2019

O’NEILL LIBRARY — Conservative author and commentator Ben Shapiro announced last Friday that he has finalized the purchase of both Bapst Library and O’Neill Library, in an effort to “truly own the libs, once and for all.” Boston College officially verified the acquisition in an email to students and... Read more

Campus Racists Attend “Acquitted Eagles Day”

Big Issues Campus Culture School February 12, 2019

Historically, Boston College has refrained from using “weighted” words such as “racist,” “hate-crime,” and “responsible,” but Sunday’s summit faced that language head-on, aiming to exonerate its attendees of any reason to associate the phrases with themselves.

Our Takeaways From The State Of The Union Address

Big Issues February 7, 2019

The State of the Union is a very formal occasion, and its guests must dress as such. Per a policy originating in the 1920 Treaty of Versailles, sweatpants are not, under any circumstances, permissible, and only certain types of jeans are allowed (depending on how well they are accessorized/bedazzled).

Do Not Stand Idly By As BC Destroys Its Finest Cultural Institution

Big Issues Campus Culture January 30, 2019

Here at The New England Classic, our editorial Sandwichboard rarely, if ever, directly comments on campus ongoings. In most normal situations, we believe that clever satire and silly photoshops can say a heck of a lot more than whatever comes out of soapbox shouting and editorial grandstanding. Unfortunately, this... Read more

Study Shows Gasson 2 To 3 Inches Shorter In Colder Months

Big Issues School January 21, 2019

HIGGINS HALL — According to the results of a new study released by the Biology department late last week, Gasson Hall is two to three inches shorter during colder months. “After analyzing years of data collected by a dedicated team of research scientists, our hard work has finally paid... Read more

Yes, Student With Barstool Flag Is Voting In Midterms Too

Big Issues October 22, 2018

CLAVER HALL — In a stunning move Saturday evening, Bryce Myers (CSOM ’22) announced his intentions to vote in the upcoming midterm elections. Myers, who receives his political news from the Snapchat Discover section and has a large “Saturdays Are For The Boys” flag hanging on the wall of... Read more

REPORT: Dad Can’t Wait To Throw Around The Old Pigskin Whenever You Make It Home, Bud

Big Issues October 15, 2018

YOUR HOMETOWN, YOUR HOME STATE — Your loving father (MCAS ‘79) reported over the phone last Thursday that he couldn’t wait for you to get home and throw around the old pigskin, buddy. This news came after an update on Mamaw’s hip replacement, and a reminder that your sister’s... Read more