Letter To Thy Editor: Yes I Support Satan, Have You Seen Hell’s Economy?
Big IssuesLTE November 14, 2024
Some support the omniscient and most holy God’s infallible plan for existence. However, they fail to consider the impact on tithes. Why is it that a hard-working king who took the risk to employ hundreds of serfs on his father’s land should be tithed more?
Read moreLTE: Dear BC Republicans, We Called You Short, Fat, And Ugly With Grubby Little Rat Hands, Not Racist
Big IssuesLTEOpinion November 12, 2024
However, we, as BC students, will not stand with the lies that you posted in your op-ed. We said you were “short, fat, and ugly with grubby little rat hands.” We never called you racist.
Read moreHeartbreaking: We Had A Whole Slate Of Articles Set For This Week But The Associated Press Had To Go And Fuck All That Up
Big IssuesWTF November 11, 2024
Editors at the Classic watched in horror as several unpublished articles, which we had poured hours of blood, sweat, and tears into, became old, shriveled, and no longer funny right before our very eyes.
Read moreLiz Cheney Found Searching Through Upper Dorms, Claims To Find Weapons of Mass Destruction
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF October 28, 2024
Every Gated Community In NY Represented In “Diverse” Class Discussion
Big IssuesCampus CultureSchool October 10, 2024
“What makes us different is what makes us special,” said Shell Turd (CSOM ’28). “I’ve met people from all over the place. I’ve met kids from Oakwood Heights, Pinebridge Estates, Elmton Ranch, and even Maplesden Village all the way out in Westchester!”
Read moreUh Oh! The Professor Whose Class You’re Failing Sat Next to You in the Sauna!
Big IssuesWTF October 7, 2024
“But then–lurking from the shadows, my financial accounting professor [Bill Incesheet (CSOM ‘88)] situated his half-naked ass next to me, fresh off a cold call in class, to which I responded with a stuttered mumble and some lightly shat pants.”
Read moreFreshman Submits First Paper In Comic Sans, Claiming It Adds Character
Big IssuesFreshmenWTF October 2, 2024
“Each font has a different story, and that’s, like, so cool. I just love the visual artistry of it all,” said Turner, who left her entire paper formatted in a single paragraph.
Read moreClassmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You
Big IssuesCampus CultureSports September 19, 2024
“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”
Read moreBC Ranked 189th In Free Speech: 10 Things You Can Now Say
Big IssuesFeatured September 17, 2024
BC is a free speech friendly campus! Boston College was recently ranked 189th out of 257 colleges and universities for free speech on campus. BC is proud to be ranked above universities such as Gulag State and Censorship Polytechnic.
Read moreGassy Gasson Renovations, Bells Ring When Someone Passes Gas
Big IssuesCampus CultureWTF September 16, 2024
Originally set for every quarter of the hour, the bells now ring every time someone passes gas. Even worse, an announcement echoes throughout the halls, sharing the name of who dealt it with the entire campus.
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