BOSTON COLLEGE BOOKSTORE — This week, the Boston College Bookstore broke a longstanding precedent of apolitical neutrality when they released an official statement on the clash between Irish Republicans and the British Government, which ended nearly 100 years ago, in their routine email blast to the student body. The... Read more
“Sadly, it has come to my attention that Baldwin’s voluptuous, feathery bazongas have become the subject of criticism,” Leahy said. “I just want to remind students that acknowledging the positive social and spiritual impact of our mascot’s humongous honkers is a key component to being men and women for others.”
LOGAN AIRPORT — In the midst of a sharp increase in COVID cases on the Boston College campus, Executive Vice President Michael Lochhead was seen boarding a flight to Toronto late Thursday night. Lochhead has been responsible for many of the COVID-related emails sent to students, including those which... Read more
“What, the black one? With the big front grill? Tinted windows? Four-door? V6? Looks about ‘08, ‘09 maybe? Apple CarPlay™? Rear-wheel drive? Automatic heated seats? Yeah, that’s not a Buick bro, nice try” Ford exclaimed to the Buick’s owner.
“See?” explained Harris, donning a blue “I’m Still With Her” baseball cap and adjusting a framed “Kennedy/Johnson” poster. “These are real positions, worthwhile opinions. It’s so hard to see out-of-date, ridiculous views like hers making headlines.”
1) The Rat Line I mean, Jesus Christ. The Rat used to MEAN SOMETHING, for pete’s sake. Remind your friends and loved ones how miserable a metaphor the Rat has become for our whole new way of life. The Rat is, as it has always been, the center of... Read more
SERVICES.BC.EDU — In a shocking last-minute push, Boston College students overwhelmingly reversed course on the Thanksgiving ultimatum that the University posed to them in late October. While projections from the Associated Press initially showed that, as of Monday, a majority of students planned to go home, the fallout from... Read more
“It’s the reluctance to call Florida for me. Every time I get close, she [Rachel Maddow] pulls away… it’s driving me absolutely nuts,” reported Chris Stoke (CSOM `23).
LINDEN LANE — Owing to an anonymous source, The Classic has obtained Boston College’s tax records dating back to the early 1870s, giving the clearest picture of the University’s finances to date and revealing centuries of chronic tax evasion and seemingly complete impunity from the United States’ tax code.... Read more