Women’s Hockey Beats Stonehill 17-0, Men’s Hockey Gifted Lululemon Sweat Sets
Sports October 7, 2026
In the spirit of Title IX, the women’s team received three whole BC Dining pizzas, served as they are best consumed: lukewarm and two days old. To comment on the athletics department’s reaction to their success, The New England Classic interviewed women’s hockey manager Jenna Unenlypissed to gain some insight on the team’s reaction to their recognition. Unenlypissed shared that “The girls are pretty upset that the pizza wasn’t even warm, other than that we’re more Alo girls anyways.”
Read more
BCPD Declares War On Fun
Campus CultureSports September 30, 2026
“Students are simply enjoying themselves too much,” said BCPD Chief Happ E. Nesshater, during a recent press conference. “That’s why we are announcing our War on Fun. It is important to the Jesuit values of this institution that all student tomfoolery, lollygagging, horsin’ around, monkey business, dilly-dallying, and shenanigans be crushed under the righteous boot of justice.”
Read more
“Professor Midtitty says conditions may improve once BC Football ‘stops blowing, which, unfortunately, is not expected to occur in the near future.'”
Read more
Due To Budget Cuts, UMaine Game To Have Gloving Show At Halftime
Sports September 16, 2026
Aspiring glovers may be seen practicing their twirls and tuts in the Williams basement, dark corners of Stokes, and the Lyons bathroom.
Read more
While their other teams visited nursing homes and fundraising, men’s hockey took a trip to Chestnut Hill, and, in what seems to be a gross misunderstanding of the definition and context of the word ‘senior’ gifted two Boston College seniors with what can only be described as a lifetime of wishes come true.
Read more
As the Winter Olympics reach full swing, and countless midterm study opportunities are squandered by sports you didn’t know existed last week, our staff at The New England Classic have had our hearts captured by one specific event.
Read more
10 Kalshi Bets That Somehow Didn’t Hit For Your Roommate This Super Bowl
SportsStudent Life February 11, 2026
In case that doesn’t sound like the best time ever, there’s one more thing you could’ve added for guaranteed fun: gambling on Kalshi. If you also wanted to spend your Sunday screaming at the TV and Gronk spiking your phone on the ground, here are some of the bets you could’ve joined your roommate on.
Read more
In an interview with Pat “Pat Sloveer” Sloveer (CSOM ‘28) and his girlfriend, Pykmeigh Gurrell (CSON ‘29), the couple shared how they have brought Drake Maye into their intimate lives—for the sake of all of New England.
Read more
Boston College men’s basketball has had some major losses recently, namely UMass and their dignity as human beings. With every loss, they are becoming more and more like the men’s tennis team: completely irrelevant.
Read more
After careful deliberation and council from The Heightsmen and the team’s recruiting coordinators, the announcement was made that the Eagles would be welcoming quarterback transfer Chiquitita (no last name could be procured at press time). Chiquitita is a 27 year old redshirt freshman from Mamma Mia Catholic Conservatory, and is currently majoring in musical theater.
Read more