Shockingly, Smith, too, replied, “I also went to school in Boston too, but I dropped out! But it’s not the same school as Macklin!” seemingly embarrassed to associate himself with the biggest Beanpot chokers of the last decade and the dumbassery of a student section that held up a “BC SUCKS” flag.

When Purter called the school’s athletics office to confirm tonight’s lines, he was met with an answering machine looking for inquiries into the disappearance of D.B. Cooper.