“This week you will have one task: Holes. You’ll be digging up as many holes as you can. No breaks and no water unless you can find something for me. Something golden and rich. Something oily…”.
Read moreThe 10-Year Plan now calls for BC to level the Mods and build eight more Carneys in their place.
Read more“Once a man of God, now a God of love. This prim and proper priest who has spent the majority of his life being a figurehead at Boston College is ready to trade that position for a more pleasurable one”
Read moreBC Builds Outdoor Venue For Stoning Sinners And Heretics
Campus CultureJesuitsLeahyStudent Life September 27, 2023
“I’ve seen this campus descend into moral depravity and sin over my career and it’s time we enhanced the judicial processes outlined in the Student Code of Conduct,” said Fr. Leahy. “We need to go back to the good old days when people doing bad things didn’t go through a long systematic trial, and we just stoned them to death. This outdoor venue is exactly for that.”
Read moreBC students were shocked to receive an email on Wednesday from the Office of Student Services announcing an increase of $0.008 to their tuition, effective immediately.
Read moreFr. Leahy Invites Kanye West To Perform At MarMon: “I Think He’s Really Come Around!”
Big IssuesLeahy October 13, 2022
Leahy continued, “He’s saying things a lot of people are afraid to say nowadays, and I know the youth listen to him. Also, I love that bar where he’s like, ‘She say ‘Can you get my friends in the club?’ I say ‘Can you get my benz in the club?’ If not, treat your friends like my Benz, Park they ass outside ‘til the evening end.’”
Read more“It is I, William P. Leahy, and I am now announcing my successor to you few snooping reporters. My successor is none other than…” he paused to raise the already scalding levels of suspense. “Me!”
Read moreBC Sends Students To Stonehenge To “Figure It Out”
Big IssuesLeahyService November 1, 2021
“We’re kind of curious on, like, how they did it. They didn’t have cranes then, to my knowledge, so they must have used their hands. Now for those back home, these things are heavy–big rocks,” said “Little” Lisa Thorax (LSOE ’22) over zoom. “We were collected by the president–BC wanted their best applied psych majors, to apply our psych.”
Read moreFather Leahy supposedly told the senior staff assembled that he would “not let it look like we’re copying those Ivy League fucks,” his frock crumbling with disdain as if it were flustered as well.
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