Local Satire Paper Officially Out Of Ideas Hot
Leahy December 3, 2018
CARNEY HALL — According to recent insider reports, Boston College’s only satire publication, The New England Classic, has officially run out of ideas. This revelation comes after an 11-year string of news stories, sketch videos, and football coach video games which some are calling “questionable work, at best.” Yesterday, an... Read more
CITY HALL PLAZA — President William P. Leahy, S.J. let his hair down Saturday at the annual Boston Pride Parade before returning to his poorly lit fourth-floor office in St. Mary’s Hall that night. Eyewitnesses reported (with surprise) that Fr. Leahy exchanged his usual black cassock for a pair... Read more
Fr. Leahy Sees His Shadow, Avoids Condemning Racism For Six More Weeks
Big IssuesLeahy February 2, 2018
ST MARY’S HALL — This morning, Boston College president Fr. William P. Leahy emerged from his burrow, spotted his shadow, and retreated back inside in fear, signaling that he will not condemn racism for at least six more weeks. This is a trend that has persisted nearly every Groundhog... Read more
CHESTNUT HILL — In the aftermath of an outcry surrounding the inaction and absence of Boston College’s fearless leader, Father William P. Leahy S.J., a university investigation has concluded that Father Leahy is officially missing. Students have long been lamenting the absence of the renowned Jesuit from frolics on... Read more
CHESTNUT HILL — Boston College’s Board of Trustees made the controversial decision to double down on their investments in fossil fuels during a conference call earlier this week. This announcement has called into question the university’s commitment to environmental sustainability, as well as the dermatologic health of a prominent... Read more
Leahy Prays To Top Donors, Trustees For Guidance On Gender-Neutral Bathrooms
Big IssuesLeahy April 6, 2017
CARNEY HALL — On Sunday night, the Undergraduate Government of Boston College passed The Resolution Concerning Single Stall Restrooms, officially calling for a change in all strict male-or-female signage for the 18 single-stall restrooms in academic buildings on campus. In passing this resolution, UGBC has shown support and recognition... Read more
Boston College Promises To Provide Students Sanctuary From Snow, No Word Yet About White Nationalist US Administration
Big IssuesJesuitsLeahySchoolStudent Life February 10, 2017
MALONEY PRESIDENTIAL SUITE — Taking advantage of yesterday’s snow day for some much-needed personal time, University President Rev. William P. Leahy, S.J., sat down with several members of the press to affirm Boston College’s commitment to keeping its students safe from the weather, but not the white nationalists passing... Read more
Students Thrilled To Know Leahy Cares, Even Happier To Know He’s Alive And Well
LeahyOld Articles November 29, 2016
BOSTON COLLEGE — The Heights broke news earlier this evening that President Fr. William P. Leahy, S.J., signed a statement supporting Boston College’s commitment to protecting its undocumented students by holding up President Obama’s executive order, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA). Because DACA may be in danger of... Read more
Leahy Attends Student Involvement Fair: ‘This Is The Semester I Put Myself Out There’
FreshmenJesuitsLeahyOld Articles September 2, 2016
It’s never too late to get involved!
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BC Unveils New Motto: “Men And Women For Others Who Are Straight And Have Two Working Legs”
LeahyOld Articles March 16, 2016
“BC is a university built on tradition, and that means we must resist all pressures to change with the times.”
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