The New England Classic
University Announces You Can Bring Two Hand Puppets To Graduation

Students whose parents are divorced are still encouraged to bring two puppets, on the grounds that they remain cordial and do not let their puppets engage in any hilarious family disputes, outrageous slapstick violence with oversized blunt objects, or crude puns during the ceremony. 

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Wait, Are People Still Having Sex?
CHESTNUT HILL—In recent days, alarming reports filed all over campus have shed new light on a previously unknown trend that apparently has affected the entire academic year: students have been having sex this entire time. The New England Classic inquired further in order to assess the veracity of these... Read more
10 Things I’d Rather Do Than Be At The Boston Logan International Airport
Live on CoRo all four years. I’d rather make the commute from exile every damn day than have to walk the marathon from the parking garage to the check-in desk even once.  Talk to Molly’s owner for longer than .2 seconds. I’d give that man my instagram handle- hell,... Read more
Yikes: BC Dining Ordered Too Many Clams
LOWER LIVE AT CORCORAN COMMONS — In a bid to maintain transparency on campus, Boston College Dining Services announced Thursday morning that they mistakenly ordered an overabundance of clams for the kitchen’s monthly food stock. “We know how much students enjoy the pungent scent of freshly fried clams on... Read more
Happy For Him: The Guy That Left Us a Year Ago Is Experiencing Great Success

We enjoyed the time we had together, and trust us, there is no bad blood between us. Everything happens for a reason, right? We have been taking this opportunity to focus on ourselves and it has been really rewarding.

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WOAH! Boy Legs!
THAT FIELD ON THE PLEX GRAVEYARD — The student body of Boston College has been positively feral recently. With relatively warm temperatures, sunny blue skies, and seemingly unlimited access to lawn games, everyone has been taking advantage of the changing of the seasons. The peak of this excitement occurred... Read more
Senior Falls Asleep In Hammock, Awakens As Butterfly

“I’ve got to say, this is certainly not the start to the week I thought I was going to have.”

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LTE: I Paid For This Mulch So I Am Taking Some Just For Me

When the mounds of mulch arrive on campus, I know it from a mile away. And I take some. In my hand, to my house. Just for me.

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Dr. Douglas Comeau Can’t Get Enough Of My Sweet, Sweet Nostrils (I Got Called Twice This Week)
CONNELL RECREATION CENTER — Sunday at midnight. That glorious, soaking wet time when a large portion of Boston College students get their highly-anticipated weekly COVID test email. This week went by like any other: I logged onto Zoom for “class”, spread my usual pathogens, and spent at least an... Read more
Hahaha: Kid Puts “Sit Here” Sticker On Face

The stickers, typically used to indicate a safe place to sit to ensure social distancing, can be found in nearly every classroom on campus. But Meyer was the first person to think of sticking one on his face.

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