10 Surefire Ways To Secure Beanpot Tickets

TD GARDEN 一 Students across campus were distraught last semester at the administration’s bungling of the distribution of Beanpot tickets. However, the Classic has come across an exclusive list of the tasks required for students to get their grubby little mitts on some highly-coveted tickets to the big game. 

1. Remember the name of the guy who sits next to you in Econ
2. Kiss the Flutie Statue’s crotch 
3. Sell your LA Friend’s Ozempic to buy one from the group me
4. Have sex with New Balance condoms in Bapst
5. Compete in a medieval jousting tourney and slay your opponent with a lance
6. Host an event in the Walsh function room
7. Sign Gloria to an NIL deal with McGovern Auto
8. Win the Danimals Dylan and Cole Sprouse Caribbean Sweepstakes 
9. Go to Hillside and DON’T get a sweet treat
10. Answer Leahy’s Riddles Three under the O’Neill Bridge

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