The New England Classic
Romantic! Long Distance E-Sex Scheduled On Public Google Calendar

Students get their hopes up that their situationship will snap them back by the big day, disinterested boyfriends same-day ship gold-painted roses from TikTok shop, and long-distance couples organize a call for some quality time semi-together.

Read more
Fabían And 9 Other Things Your Girlfriend Did While Abroad In Barcelona

Your girlfriend just completed her semester abroad in Barcelona! Now that she has returned to her humble Foster Street abode, let us take a look back at the top 10 things she did in Barça.

Read more
English Dept. Vacates Irish Studies Offices After 800-Year Occupation

“We didn’t even really do anything that bad, but I guess it was important to say something ahead of these St. Patty’s [sic] Day shenanigans,” read their attempt at an apology. “Sure, we might’ve reduced their discipline to a wee minor, bastardized their entire language, and deliberately poisoned all potatoes in their breakroom, but can I get a sláyyy-ante?!”

Read more
Local Royalist Turns Ginger Run into Running of the Bulls

“Y’know I was eight pints deep making da rounds ‘round Mod 18B moving like a priest at last call, and next ting y’know I’m horn-to-arse with a feckin’ bull charging at me like I owed it a fiver,” said Róisín MacDonagh, one of 17 redheads on the BC Irish Dance team. “My heart still felt for the poor ting y’know. Probably had no granny who loved him. No granpappy to sing it lullabies, let me tell ya.”

Read more
Reslife Builds Houseboats On Res To Combat Lack Of Housing

The Fleet’s application demographic has skewed prominently female, with a high concentration of Philosophy, Art History, and Political Science majors. “I mean me and all the girls studied abroad in Amsterdam last spring, and it was truly life changing,” said Didi Telyaistudydabrawd (MCAS ‘25).

Read more
Students So Happy Underdeveloped Country Was So Cheap

“Where I was, a margarita was four dollars and I didn’t even have to tip. It’s just so awesome how they all get paid a livable wage.”

Read more
Heroic ROTC Sophomore Won’t Stop Calling Going Abroad “Getting Deployed”

The Classic caught up with Tennant in his Vandy 8-man, or “HQ”, just one day after he learned of his placement at the University of Learnenschoolen in Switzerland.

Read more
“Cultured” Students Return From Abroad: Campus Pickpocketing At A High

For those who stayed on campus in the Fall semester, get ready to lose your sanity hearing your acquaintance gab about their “eye-opening experiences”, along with maybe losing your wallet in your backpack when around them.

Read more
“We Are So Back” Says Girl No One Even Noticed Was Abroad

‘“It’s really great being back. I thought it would be weird since I’ve matured far past my Americanized peers in the past four months, but it really feels like I’ve never left!”’

Read more
Application Mishap Places Study Abroad Hopeful At Barcelona Wine Bar

Terbrain said that she never thought twice about the interview at the restaurant, believing that it was simply to confirm her eligibility for the abroad program. “I spent the whole time talking about my love for tapas while shoving my face with patatas bravas and sangria to show them my love for the culture. I was a little confused when she kept explaining that I wouldn’t be able to drink on the job… last time I checked, the drinking age is eighteen in Spain.”

Read more