Hey You! Yeah You! Everyone Can Hear Your Music Through Your Headphones!
Uncategorized May 1, 2023 The New England Classic
WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW—Wow! You must be sooooooo embarrassed. Haven’t you noticed that everyone is looking at you right now? No, it’s actually really funny. Literally everyone who has ever existed on the face of this vast earth can hear your music blasting through your headphones right now.
Yup. That campus tour that just walked by and was staring at you…turns out it’s not because they think that you’re a cool, mysterious, college role model. They were just confused as to why they could hear “Replay” by Zendaya at full volume on a Monday morning at 9:30 am. Also we couldn’t help but notice that you really did put that song on “replay”. You played it 6 times in a row?
Oh but yikes! Your class crush who walked by…they weren’t admiring your outfit, they were wondering how your eardrums still work. Also, weren’t you just in the library? Everyone clapped when you left because they could finally study in peace and quiet.
And to think that you were wearing those headphones to reduce your social anxiety…how’d that work out for you? Wait, why are you crying? It’s really not that embarrassing. I mean yeah if it was me in your shoes, I would probably transfer. But really it’s not that bad!
But yeah you should probably turn that shit down, or play some better music. Also everyone just saw you cry so you might wanna do something about that as well!
Oh my god! Did you just try to turn your music down and accidentally disconnect your headphones? Dude, “Keep Holding On” the Glee Cast Version totally just played right out of your phone instead of your headphones. You just really can’t win today.
No matter where you are, thousands of people on this campus are looking at you right now. They are all perceiving you and passing judgment on your personality and character. Good luck with that!
