Uh Oh: This Textbook Was Previously Owned By An Idiot

O’NEILL LIBRARY — Connor Ricardo (MCAS ’24) was saddened to learn that his newly acquired Principles of Economics textbook was previously owned by an idiot. Ricardo made the troublesome discovery early Monday morning when he began his first homework assignment. 

“I knew something was wrong instantly,” said Ricardo, who opted to purchase a used version of the assigned text at a slightly reduced price. “The entire first chapter was covered in bright pink highlighter. It literally gave me a headache.” 

Unfortunately for Connor, things only got worse from there, as the text’s previous owner had an astounding inability to underline sentences. Most of their attempts to do so resulted in a line straight through the words, leaving numerous passages illegible.  

Also throughout the book were countless unintelligible annotations. For example, on page 63, the previous owner wrote “LOL that is so lindsey!” next to a passage explaining the causes of the 2008 Financial Crisis. 

Perhaps most disturbingly, upwards of 150 phallic illustrations were scattered through the text, each one more detailed than the last. 

“I guess I have to drop the class now seeing as there is absolutely no way for me to learn anything from this book,” said Ricardo. “At this point, I just hope the shit-for-brains responsible gets the help that they so clearly need.” 

Attempts to reach the prior owner for comment, who signed their name as Mike Rotch in the book’s front cover, were unsuccessful.

More Hot Single Sandwiches NEAR YOU:

Five Things To Talk About Now That The Election Is Over, And They’re All The Rat Line Creators of Club Club Lacrosse Announce Model Model UN Neiiighhh! (Written by a Horse) Jeff Hafley Changes BC Football Slogan To “Everyone’s A Winner”