Jeff Hafley Changes BC Football Slogan To “Everyone’s A Winner”
ALUMNI STADIUM — Following Saturday’s narrow 31-point loss to Wake Forest, BC Football is pulling out all the stops to ensure a more successful season next year. Namely, Jeff Hafley has brainstormed and pioneered a new slogan that he hopes will truly rally the team and the student body: “Everyone’s a Winner.”
“This isn’t a decision we take lightly,” said Hafley in an exclusive interview with the Classic. “It’s not just a change in slogan, it’s a total rebrand. We brainstormed a lot of different ideas; ‘Please Stay In’, ‘It’s the Thought that Counts’, and ‘We’re a Hockey School Anyways’ were all very popular alternatives. But in the end, ‘Everyone’s a Winner’ conveyed our message the best. No matter what happens on that field, we really are all winners at heart, and that’s what matters.”
Hafley also mentioned that the team will be making some performanced-based changes: after games, each player will get an ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles and a tender little pat on the head, followed by an “I’m proud of you, kiddo.”
The players seem to have a positive outlook on next year’s season. According to a survey distributed by The Classic, the team describes the upcoming rebrand as “cool, I guess,” “what does rebrand mean,” and “as long as i get the scooter idc.”
“I really think this new approach is gonna give us the results we want,” said Hafley. “I am totally confident that my boys have what it takes.”
At press time, Hafley was seen sneaking into the CIA cloning lab with Zay Flowers in tow.