The New England Classic
Green Line Self Destructs After Being Forced To Go To Boston College Once Again

Witnesses say the train, carrying just three passengers (all of which are reluctant Boston College students sporting Harvard merchandise), emitted a long sigh before bursting into flames, an event being described by witnesses as “completely and utterly understandable.”

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Urinetown? Piss Kink Support Group Meets At Robsham This Weekend

The Office of Student Involvement has recently introduced a new student organization that really fills a void that no student groups have been brave enough to address. Yup…you guessed it! A Piss Kink support group!

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LTE: My Eight-Man Is Doing “No Eighth-Man November”

We have this really amazing culture of acting in whatever way makes us most comfortable and “at home.” For me, I’ve always preferred listening to music in the shower before work around 7 A.M. to help wake me up!

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CSOM Student Announces Prestigious Internship At “Male-Centered App” Called Grindr

“Yeah, I found it on Handshake. The company is completely male-centered which you don’t really see nowadays. It’s something I can appreciate.” 

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14 Things YOUR (Yes YOUR) Stupid Ass Did While Blacked Out This Halloweekend

Did I say something to my friends that I shouldn’t have? Did I get a little too silly and text my ex again? We’re here to put some of these stressful questions to bed. It’s so much worse. You really fucked up. Here’s just some of what you got up to these last few days:

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Spooky! Your Situationship Wants To Do A Couples Costume

As students across BC College’s campus prepare their scariest costumes for Halloween, some are in for a spookier time than others. Any bachelor will tell you that few possibilities fuel their nightmares like the idea of defining a relationship. 

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Spooky Dookie! BC Dining Strikes Again

He was surprised and delighted to find that his quesadilla was #phattt, even posting on his finsta story a boomerang captioned “bad day to be a quesadilla! mac workers blesssseddd today #weup!”

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Spooky: My Liberal Roommate Is Going To Murder Me

The next day, he asked me to come to the laundry room in O’Connell House with him. He asked me to climb inside the machine because “one of his socks was stuck,” but he lost me when he insisted I squeeze my entire body inside “to see if I fit out of curiosity.” 

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BCRepublicans Protest Drag Brunch For “No Queen’s Day”

This past Saturday as “No Kings Day” protests swept the nation to protest the Trump Administration, the short, fat, and ugly eunuchs in BCRepublicans knew they needed to do something to stand up for their Daddy. 

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McMullen Exhibit Looks Oddly Familiar: NEC Investigates The Heist

In response to this crisis, detectives at the Classic have begun investigating the situation—a credible source as they bring great experience having recently binged the Ocean’s One through Eleven. 

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