The New England Classic
Newly Accepted Club Member Misinterprets Kidnapping For Kinky Sexual Roleplay
FENWICK HALL — Boston College a capella group The Bostonians continued their long-standing tradition of “kidnapping” newly accepted members from their dorm rooms last Tuesday night. But the usually lighthearted tradition took an unexpected turn when one new member reportedly misinterpreted the situation as an extreme sexual roleplay, leading... Read more
Addazio Can’t Download Mobile Ticket On iPod Touch, Will Miss Richmond Game
ALUMNI STADIUM — It was reported late Friday afternoon that Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio will miss this Saturday’s game against the Richmond Spiders because he is unable to download his mobile ticket onto his 2nd generation iPod Touch.  BC Athletics implemented the new ticketing process this year... Read more
Freshman Disappointed Convocation Speaker Is Chris Wilson, Not Owen Wilson
Look out for our print issue for more phenomenal content. Read more
Addazio’s Off-Campus Housing Lease Does Not Begin Until September 1, Will Miss Season Opener
KIRKWOOD ROAD — It was reported early Friday morning that Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio will miss his team’s season opener against Virginia Tech this weekend. The coach’s lease for his off-campus house on Kirkwood Road does not begin until September 1. It remains unclear why Addazio,... Read more
Couple Breaks Up After White Mountain Server Asks If They’re Paying Together Or Separate

A recent dispute had put the relationship on thin ice, according to Lynn — almost as thin as the ice cream of White Mountain’s competitors.

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The New England Classic’s Summer Vacation Travel Guide: Chicago
Chicago. The Twindy Cities. From the Sioux for “Italians need not apply,” Chi-na-town is the perfect spot for a surprise summer getaway. With at least four and a half restaurants and a record-108 years without a single Italian in public office, planning a trip to the city can seem... Read more
NASDAQ To Headline Modstocks, Dow Jones To Open
WALL STREET — NASDAQ will headline this year’s Modstocks, the Campus Activities Board (CAB) announced Tuesday. Dow Jones, 2019 Battle of the Bonds winner, will open for the annual spring trading event. Last year’s headliner, the S&P 500, faced controversy after the index was found to support flat earth... Read more
“Hey, How Was Your Brake?” Asks Guy Inquiring About Roommate’s Car Inspection
IGNACIO HALL—Jeff Lube (MCAS ’19) received some interesting information yesterday when he asked his roommate how his brake was after getting his car inspected. “It was pretty good, actually,” responded Gary Michaels-Croswell (CSOM ’19). “Oil needed to be changed and had to get a headlight replaced, but other than... Read more
What To Do When Your French Roommate Jean-Pierre Labeouf Won’t Stop Putting Cigarette Ash In Your House Plants Even Though You Specifically Asked Him Not To

Ugh, Jean-Pierre. Even saying his name makes you wince, like you just took a bite of a really shitty lemon. A lemon called Labeouf.

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This Article Is Just 11 GIFs Of Kevin Spilling The Chili, And We Know You Sheeple Will Still Love It
Why even bother writing a lede? Why bother putting effort into our content? Why bother doing anything at all when nothing matters except Kevin from The Office (U.S.) spilling the chili? Feast your simple brains on this. 1. Kevin spilling the chili   2. Kevin spilling the chili ... Read more