BC Football Gets Sent To Glee Club

LIMA, OHIO — Following Boston College’s abysmal loss at their opening game against Northern Illinois this weekend, the Eagles once again found themselves in hot water on campus. At a loss, Coach Hafley decided to call up one of his old friends in an attempt to whip the boys into shape before their game against Holy Cross. 

“I thought about doing something like the Super Bowl Shuffle,” Hafley said, “but this team needs something a little more drastic.” 

Armed with nothing but their pads and jockstraps, the Eagles set out to McKinley High to join William Schuester’s Glee Club. 

Their first task was to cover a Britney Spears song and choreograph a dance number to accompany it. Though the Eagles were apprehensive at first, Mr. Schuester was impressed at Emmett Morehead‘s vocal range and agility on the dance floor. “I may not trust him to throw the ball,” said Hafley, referring to his unusually quick benching of Morehead in Saturday’s game, “but I sure as hell trust him to bust a move and tear up that dance floor.” 

The Classic reached out to William V. Campbell Director of Athletics, Blake James for his thoughts on Hafley’s new tactics and he said, “I commend Jeff for his efforts to put an entertaining product on the field. They’ll probably sell more tickets now that they aren’t actually playing football.” 

At press time, the team was seen rehearsing a rendition of the Cupid Shuffle and getting slushies thrown in their face by the McKinley High football team.

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