The New England Classic
Snapchat Story Totally Has State School Friends Fooled

“These snaps are exactly what I needed to prove Brent and Chad wrong!”

Read more
Worse Than Being Fired: Addazio Family Forced To Celebrate Christmas In Detroit

“I’m hoping the team can get together and do some tackling drills in an abandonded automobile factory. What’s better than dudes being dudes, crushing each others skulls among the ruins of American industry?”

Read more
Students Thrilled To Know Leahy Cares, Even Happier To Know He’s Alive And Well
BOSTON COLLEGE — The Heights broke news earlier this evening that President Fr. William P. Leahy, S.J., signed a statement supporting Boston College’s commitment to protecting its undocumented students by holding up President Obama’s executive order, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA). Because DACA may be in danger of... Read more
Addazio Trampled While Black Friday Shopping At Bed Bath & Beyond
CHESTNUT HILL MALL — Tragedy struck in the wee hours of Friday morning, as Boston College Head Coach Steve Addazio has been taken to the hospital after being trampled at a local Bed Bath & Beyond in a fit of Black Friday-induced violence. Addazio had been camping outside the... Read more
Friends From First Week Of Freshman Year Finally Distant Enough To Just Ignore One Another
O’NEILL QUAD — As they passed each other without eye contact or acknowledgement between classes this afternoon, juniors Kelly Jones (CSON ‘18) and Kayla McArthur (MCAS ‘18) breathed a collective sigh of relief, relishing in enjoyment of their mutual disregard for each other. While future trends in human interaction are difficult... Read more
Welcome To Another Episode Of Pimp My UIS!
Welcome to another episode of Pimp My UIS! I’m your host, world-renowned Catholic rapper ever2Xcel, and today we’ve got a university information system that is in serious need of an upgrade! Johnny Manzo is a junior in the Lynch School here at Boston College, and he’s been registering for courses for years... Read more
Fashionably Late Freshman Third Person At Party
RUBENSTEIN HALL — After buttoning the last button of his fine poly-cotton blend shirt at approximately 8:24 p.m. in his Keyes South double, Arnold Pellegrini (MCAS ‘20) was spotted making his way to the Newton bus with a cool, collected confidence that he hadn’t experienced since high school, when... Read more
Student ‘Not One To Get Political Online, But’—Oh Boy, Here We Go
MIDDLE CAMPUS — At 11:02AM this morning, senior Bryan McDadderson (MCAS ’17) placed his fingers to keyboard and—uh-oh—thought about posting a Facebook status with his “unique” insight into the 2016 presidential election. While McDadderson reportedly told himself that this behavior was not consistent with his normal online activity, sources... Read more
Fr. Leahy Announces Ambitious 10 Year Plan Of Keeping Things Exactly How They Are
ST. MARY’S HALL — Inspired by the historic lack of discourse about policy and reform proposals in the 2016 presidential election, university president Rev. William P. Leahy, S.J., held a private press conference on Friday to announce his bold new vision for the next ten years of academic, infrastructural,... Read more
Freshman Takes Off Mask For Halloween
LES MODULARS — Jake Griffin (CSOM ‘20) caused shock, confusion, and a worrying amount of arousal to a number of students with his controversial choice of Halloween costume this year. In spite of the temptation to dress as ‘Sexy Steve Addazio’ or ‘Sassy Stuart Lunch Lady,’ Jake took a different approach,... Read more