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“Let’s Get Dinner!” Says Mutual Who’s Low on Meal Plan Money and Wants to Rob You
November 17, 2023
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“We’re Just Like Taylor And Travis” Says Acapella Lead And Her Club Golf Boyfriend
November 16, 2023
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BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed
November 10, 2023
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“I’m a Microcelebrity,” Says Girl Who Broods In Her Room 25/8
November 9, 2023
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Psych Major Cheats on Girlfriend; Explains He “Required Novel Stimuli”
November 9, 2023
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Arrupe Volunteer Gave Me A Wedgie And Stole My Lunch Money
November 6, 2023
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Uh Oh: Your Babygirl Hockey “Boyfriend” Is A Freshman
November 2, 2023
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Man Wearing Shorts in November Shocked You Didn’t Ask if He’s Cold
November 1, 2023
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Spooky! My Life Sucks Because I Didn’t Send that Text Chain in Sixth Grade
October 26, 2023
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SPOOKY: Your Boyfriend is a Little TOO Excited to be Ken
October 25, 2023
“These snaps are exactly what I needed to prove Brent and Chad wrong!”
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“I’m hoping the team can get together and do some tackling drills in an abandonded automobile factory. What’s better than dudes being dudes, crushing each others skulls among the ruins of American industry?”
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BOSTON COLLEGE — The Heights broke news earlier this evening that President Fr. William P. Leahy, S.J., signed a statement supporting Boston College’s commitment to protecting its undocumented students by holding up President Obama’s executive order, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA). Because DACA may be in danger of...
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CHESTNUT HILL MALL — Tragedy struck in the wee hours of Friday morning, as Boston College Head Coach Steve Addazio has been taken to the hospital after being trampled at a local Bed Bath & Beyond in a fit of Black Friday-induced violence. Addazio had been camping outside the...
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O’NEILL QUAD — As they passed each other without eye contact or acknowledgement between classes this afternoon, juniors Kelly Jones (CSON ‘18) and Kayla McArthur (MCAS ‘18) breathed a collective sigh of relief, relishing in enjoyment of their mutual disregard for each other. While future trends in human interaction are difficult...
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Welcome to another episode of Pimp My UIS! I’m your host, world-renowned Catholic rapper ever2Xcel, and today we’ve got a university information system that is in serious need of an upgrade! Johnny Manzo is a junior in the Lynch School here at Boston College, and he’s been registering for courses for years...
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RUBENSTEIN HALL — After buttoning the last button of his fine poly-cotton blend shirt at approximately 8:24 p.m. in his Keyes South double, Arnold Pellegrini (MCAS ‘20) was spotted making his way to the Newton bus with a cool, collected confidence that he hadn’t experienced since high school, when...
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MIDDLE CAMPUS — At 11:02AM this morning, senior Bryan McDadderson (MCAS ’17) placed his fingers to keyboard and—uh-oh—thought about posting a Facebook status with his “unique” insight into the 2016 presidential election. While McDadderson reportedly told himself that this behavior was not consistent with his normal online activity, sources...
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ST. MARY’S HALL — Inspired by the historic lack of discourse about policy and reform proposals in the 2016 presidential election, university president Rev. William P. Leahy, S.J., held a private press conference on Friday to announce his bold new vision for the next ten years of academic, infrastructural,...
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LES MODULARS — Jake Griffin (CSOM ‘20) caused shock, confusion, and a worrying amount of arousal to a number of students with his controversial choice of Halloween costume this year. In spite of the temptation to dress as ‘Sexy Steve Addazio’ or ‘Sassy Stuart Lunch Lady,’ Jake took a different approach,...
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