“Let’s Do a Silly One”: Coach Hafley on his Strategy for Upcoming Game
SILLY GOOSE FACTORY – With the next football game on the horizon, the Classic got an inside peak at coach Hafley’s strategy to beat FSU. After getting bent over by Northern Illinois and nearly choked by Holy Cross, the BC football coach agrees it’s time to take the team in a new direction.
Anonymous sources reported that during practice, Hafley filled the team in on this new strategy: “Let’s do a silly one”. When asked to elaborate, Hafley said “You know, like a goofy one. It means you can do whatever you want as long as it’s appropriate! You can stick your tongue out or give someone bunny ears, as long as it doesn’t hurt his feelings.”
Hafley further explained his decision in an exclusive interview with the Classic: “I feel like, in my role, there’s so much pressure put on me! I just wanna let loose and… be silly every once in a while!” ‘Monkey covering eyes emoji’”, he said as he laid on his stomach with his hands propping up his chin, kicking his feet in the air. “I’m only a little boy, just 44 years old. I don’t wanna get fired! I just submitted a down payment for a brand new Prius with a grey fabric interior and I’m really excited about it!”
“With our last couple of games, I’ve been down in the dumps, in my ‘sad boi era’ as my players would say. I figured that livening up the mood out there on the field would really help loosen things up! Why do we have to be so serious all the time?” Coach Hafley sat up, pouted, and crossed his arms. “We’re literally on a floating rock in space, we should just have fun while we’re here!”
The football team was confused but receptive to the change in strategy: “I’m really excited to do a silly one”, said an anonymous player. “We never get to do silly ones, so this is gonna be really fun and I can’t wait. I think Coach Hafley will even take us to Friendly’s after!”
The Classic wishes the team good luck in tomorrow’s game. They may not put any points on the board, but they will be sure to put a delicious ice cream sundae in their bellies.