Articles | Page 7 of 95 | The New England Classic

BCRepublicans Protest Drag Brunch For “No Queen’s Day”

Big Issues Campus Culture Student Life October 24, 2025

This past Saturday as “No Kings Day” protests swept the nation to protest the Trump Administration, the short, fat, and ugly eunuchs in BCRepublicans knew they needed to do something to stand up for their Daddy.

McMullen Exhibit Looks Oddly Familiar: NEC Investigates The Heist

Big Issues Campus Culture October 22, 2025

In response to this crisis, detectives at the Classic have begun investigating the situation—a credible source as they bring great experience having recently binged the Ocean’s One through Eleven.

The Worst Person You Know Just Reminded You They’re NOT Going To Nashville For Fall Break

Dorm Stuff Drinking Holidays Student Life October 10, 2025

“To be honest, when my friends told me they were going to Nashville, I was pretty disappointed in them,” said Lou Zerr (MCAS ‘26). “As a free thinker, there’s just something that a weekend drinking in Nashville couldn’t give me. I think I need something a little more enriching.”

Following Federal Government Shutdown, UGBC Vows To Continue Doing Absolutely Nothing

Big Issues Campus Culture October 10, 2025

“Following the suit of our effective federal government,” said Munnyin Pockets (CSOM ‘28), “…We want to reassure the student body that our unique ability to accomplish absolutely nothing of substance will continue as usual.”

LTE: I Think My RA Confiscated My Dildo During Room Checks…

LTE Sex Sports October 8, 2025

I lifted my head to the ceiling, praying to whoever was listening to bring my baby back to me. And then, as if God himself heard my plea, I saw him floating across the student section.

Freshman Boy Disappointed By Lack Of Shaw-ties In The Shaw House

Dorm Stuff Freshmen Sex October 3, 2025

THE ANIMAL HOUSE OF UPPER CAMPUS — Every year, hundreds of incoming Boston College freshmen scour Facebook, Instagram, and Craigslist alike to find roommates and plan housing arrangements. Another alluring option offered are the many Living Learning Communities that exist, such as the Kappa Kappa Kostka Women’s Experience, and... Read more

Eagle Escort Now Offering Complimentary Catcalling Services

Campus Culture School Student Life WTF October 2, 2025

Previously only used as a transportation service for injured or otherwise disabled students on campus, Eagle Escort will now be offering what BCPD is calling “mobile mood boosters.”

Students React To A Bad Bunny At The Super Bowl Halftime Show

Campus Culture WTF October 1, 2025

With our Eagles shitting the bed every week, all anyone wants is some hot bunny action.

Inspired By Hegseth, Leahy Brings Together All Fathers To Discuss The Jesuits Plan

Big Issues Jesuits Leahy October 1, 2025

Inspired by Secretary of War Pete Hegseth’s recent general-summoning jamboree, University President Fr. William P. Leahy, S.J., has reportedly called together every Father, Monsignor, Deacon, and vaguely-clerical-looking guy on campus for what insiders are describing as “a dry run for the Jesuits’ plan for religious world domination.”

Oh No! Dad Plans To Paint Himself In Maroon And Gold For Parents Weekend Game

BOB Campus Culture WTF September 27, 2025

When questioned by the Classic, Fied said this was not, in fact, a philosophical question. Just this morning, his Dad bought the entire shelf of body paint at their local Home Depot with plans to “strip down (ALL the way), lather up, and show his Boston College spirit.”