The New England Classic
“Forever Fitz Girls” Are Over After Labor Day Weekend On The Cape

Madysynn and seven other residents on the second floor of Fitzpatrick Hall thought they had it all figured out. By Labor Day Weekend, they had already discussed plans for a Walsh 8-man and contacted Urban Realty about that house on Kirk for junior year. Little did they know, it would all come to a screeching halt by the time they passed Plymouth.

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LTE: Is Anyone Else’s 4Boston Placement Just Some Guy?

This is when things started to get uncomfortable, and he told me my service placement was “some guy named Phil” to whom I was only meant to call Papa P. I was then instructed to wear an Urban Outfitters corset to my service day, and was given a one way Charlie Card that only worked for the red line. I didn’t even know that they made those, but I guess I am just a small town girl…

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ResLife Announces New 5-Man Suites In Alignment With Recent Vatican Announcement

This new housing opportunity allows BC students to live together with their four closest “friends,” just like the Pope.

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Freshman Furry Excited For TAILgate

With BC’s first football game of the season incoming, hundreds of freshmen prepare to blackout by 11 A.M. in front of their friends’ grandparents at a tailgate they weren’t even formally invited to. One freshman, Cain Ine (MCAS ‘29), is particularly thrilled at the prospect of a whole college ritual based on wearing tails and embracing that dog in us. 

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Are Freshmen Getting Hotter? This Grad Student Thinks Yes!

With each August bringing increasingly large hordes of recent valedictorians, washed-up athletes, and guys named Jack, the question on every returning students’ mind remains the same: are freshmen getting hotter?

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BREAKING: Erewhon Installed In Eagles Nest Post-Gentrification

BC seemingly injected Botox into the Nest, in an effort to charge $3.50 more on each item of food. This gentrification has now attracted the likes of small businesses like Erewhon, a family-owned smoothie shop based in L.A.

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Jesuits Mandate White Tank Tops And Lots Of Water for Mudstock

This year all Mudstock participants are required to “wear tight-fitting, but tasteful, white tank tops and get hosed down before competing in games”.

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Marathon Runner Revived By Pink Whitney Nip
HEARTBREAK HILL – After months of training and relentless Strava posts, Boston Marathon runners are finally gearing up to run for four hours without collapsing or shitting their pants. But the marathon runners aren’t the only ones who’ve been training for this day… Boston College students have been preparing... Read more
LTE: Jesus Ascended? I Thought That Was Girls-Only?

“What? How can he Ascend? That’s the girls only retreat and Jesus is literally the Son of God.”

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Barack Obama Added As Introductory Commencement Speaker

Although students have already been buzzing about the thought of Dale Louie Richard’s wise and inspiring words, this short introductory speech will surely add a wonderful preface and act as a nice cherry on top.

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