BC Corrects Typo, Announces That Commencement Speaker Is Actually Ambassador To “The Crane”
ALUMNI STADIUM — On April 18th, Boston College announced to graduating seniors that their commencement speaker would be Ukraine’s Ambassador to the U.S., Oksana Markarova.
However, two days later they sent out a follow-up email addressing a typo in the original announcement. Apparently, the real commencement speaker will be the ambassador to The Crane.
Hovering over BC’s campus, The Crane has connected with many students, watching them grow and flourish over the past year. The Crane even garnered a bit of Herrd fame, becoming a favorite among BC students.
“When I heard the commencement speaker was going to be the ambassador to ‘you crane’, I was like ‘me crane’? I’m not a crane, silly!” Ty Po (CSOM ’23) exclaimed. “So yeah, I wasn’t surprised when they announced the real commencement speaker was going to be the ambassador to The Crane. That’s something I can get behind!”
We then informed Po that Ukraine is a country that is being viciously and unjustly invaded by neighboring Russia. Following this, he requested that his comments be stricken from the record, a request that we refused to fulfill.
“The Crane. Is. The. Moment. Have you fucking seen it?” administrator Crain Luver said. “It’s massive. Always doing stuff for the BC community. AND it has an ambassador- that’s epic. We honestly couldn’t have picked a better speaker.”
The ambassador to The Crane still remains quite a mystery to BC students and many wonder who he even is. When pressed for an interview, The Crane’s ambassador harshly replied, “I’m workin’ here!!”